A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just got engaged and found out a week later that my fiance had a one night stand a month after we met (2+ years ago). He told me about it bc I asked him and caught him in a lie about it (the weekends didn't match up; I have a better memory than him). So, he fessed up. It was a one night thing, drunken, with a girl from out of town who he claims he wasn't that attracted to, but she was a "4am 6 pack beauty." At that point he and I had slept together a couple of times but had not had the exclusivity talk yet. I was still going on a couple minor dates with others but wasn't sleeping with anyone else.I just don't know how to get through this. Reason says "forgive," because it was so long ago and before we were technically exclusive. But, it I cannot stop thinking about it. Help! Thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): It does not seem to me as problem that he had somebody in period while your relationship was still building up.
THE REAL PROBLEM is weather you think that that's ok behavior to get drunk and sleep with somebody no metter weather you are in the relatioship or single.Do you want to be emotionaly involved with somebody who think thats ok or positive thing?
Think long term run
good luck
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (1 June 2008):
 I believe if you date a guy, you should be faithful from the start and not date/sleep other people. (But that's me I am old fashioned like that I guess).
Why has he only told you now and not two years ago? I'm sorry but if that was me and I had already been intimate with him before the one night fling, personally myself I would have gone ballistic. It is only common curtesy to stay faithful once you cross that line..... Surely or am I missing the point here?
And what't this crap about being "technically exclusive"???
Does that make it right to see or sleep with other people?
In my opinion NO. He has already crossed the line of infidelity and would be very wary whether to trust him or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): I agree. It sounds like you two had not got serious yet? Unless he is showing signs of being anything but in to you, I think you need see this in the context that you were also having "minor" dates with others - e.g. - you weren't exclusive yet.
Look at it this way, he could have slept with that other women and chosen her over you. He chose you, not her, and not anyone else either. You obviously have something far better than the other girls could have given him! Don't ruin a good thing over something you can't change.
Talk to him some more if you are unsure but it sounds to me that you just hadn't got exclusive yet.
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