A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my husband is physically abusive now and emotionally. he always puts me down for my past. ive never given him a reason not to trust me. i would take a bullet for him i lvoe him that much. but he needs help. i love him but he really really needs help and he wont get it. idk wat to do . he does rarely say that he likes my cooking on occasion, but its the cleaning he always gripes about the way that i clean so i have completely stopped and ONLY clean when it gets really bad. im done but i want to clean, i hate a filthy house but why should i? im the one in school full time, taking care of the kid more than he does and i also have a full time job! and he still wont do crap! and he still puts me down and says that im usless, worthless, a whore, a horrible wife and mother! what do i do!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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emotionally abusive, puts me down Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): i want my husband in prison for mental abuse hes an also asylum seeker. home office has his case i want him deported
A
female
reader, Melys  +, writes (1 November 2009):
 Subconsciously you feel you don't deserve any more than this....that's why you're in this mess...
I'd get out of this abusive marriage, get some sort of counseling and move on to a more fulfilling and deserving life.
Good Luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): You have just listed the text book example of the worst possible relationship for a girl to be in. Are you crazy???
Do you think you or your child deserves this? No one who hits you loves you end of story.
You desperately need time alone to figure out what you want from this life. Leave him now, if not for you then for your young one (children who see thre mother abused this way are more likely to do it themselves)
If you stay you just might take a bullet from him
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): Leave him. It doesn't get any better. I should know, I grew up in the same sort of situation. Don't become a shell like my mother. Don't let your children watch you suffer. It will sour their future relationships. Some people would recommend therapy and a trial separation. I don't believe it works, but that's me.
Please don't be a doormat.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): Let me put it to you this way. You love him enough to take a bullet for him.
He is physically and emotionally abusing you. He can't possibly love you and be able to hurt you that way, the two states of being are totally not possible at the same time or in the same person.
He may want you and need you because he is a self serving prick, but he will never love you and he it is extremely unlikely that he will stop what he is doing.
This is very dangerous for you, this kind of abuse always escalates. Think of your child, too, this is not the kind of home he/she deserves to be raised in.
You both would be better off never having any contact with him again if at all possible.
If you are afraid of him and what he will do if you leave, then pack your stuff, take the kid and leave while he is gone at work, stay with family or good friends.
File a restraining order against him for the abuse and that way if he comes near you and your child you can have him arrested. File for divorce as quickly as you can and you will most likely have the upper hand in the divorce.
You have no other choice but to leave. Seriously put and end to this destructive arrangement NOW.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): Seriously, leave!!
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A
female
reader, butterfly0916 +, writes (1 November 2009):
 Please leave this guy this guy isnt worth it...as hard as it is (because you say you love him)..leave him a guy that is this abusive doesnt deserve a person like you and you dont deserve an abusive person like this in your life...please leave him...well at least thats what i would do if i were you
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A
female
reader, sadgrl40 +, writes (1 November 2009):
For starters I am so sorry that you are in this situation. But RUN like hell. He is a huge asshole that needs to be taught a lesson. He isn't a man because no real man treats a woman like that and it makes him think that he is a big man to treat a female this way. GET OUT NOW!!! Not another minute hour or day in the same house. They do not change. I am not saying this from a place of no knowledge. I grew up with this crap and he will never learn until someone else puts him in a place where he has no control and is at the mercy of someone else who is as mean and evil as he is. I watched my "dad" treat my mom,all my siblings, and myself. We broke the cycle by getting out. My mom stayed in that shit for 32 years. Please I beg you to get help and NOW!!!!
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