A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i've been seperated from my girlfriend for about a month now. we split due to differences between us. for example, she's very high strung, i'm very laid back. she's very conservative with how she wants to raise kids (which we both decided we would have wanted down the road), i take a more liberal stance. we just never really saw eye to eye on a lot of things and we tended to clash quite a bit. but we loved each other very much. i have no doubt about that.since we've split, we've both stayed in touch with each other and both admitted there's still feelings there, but we don't necessarily think it's for the best to get back together. as she puts it, "a bird and a fish can fall in love, but where will they make their home?" i asked her if she thought it would be best if we didn't talk for a while so we could get over each other once and for all, and she agreed it may be for the best, but she says she can't imagine not talking to me. that she couldn't bare the thought of not having me around. which i feel the same. it would hurt so much. so she calls me today and tells me she's going to be in town tomorrow (she lives a couple hours away), and wants to meet up with me for a while. of course, i say okay. when we got off the phone, she texts me and tells me she really wants to have sex the whole time she's in town, and that she's missed our sex. i, of course, am game for that. she then texts me to let me know that it won't change anything between us, and am i still okay with that? and i know myself well enough to know that if that's all it is, than i'll be fine. but my question is this. is that really all she's after? she just admitted to me yesterday that she can't imagine not having me in her life, and that she does still love me. so i know there's still feelings involved. so is it really just sex? what's really going on here? maybe i'm reading too much into this. thanks.
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female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (14 November 2012):
A bird and a fish can make a home together in a marsh, the wetlands, or even along a river, lakeside, or the sea's shore. But both the bird and the fish must compromise to live in harmony.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (14 November 2012):
 Hi
To me she is playing what is normally the mans role as an Ex, she is after sex with no strings.
Thing is it's never going anywhere,you finished for a reason,your emotions are still raw,you have kept in contact and done everything her way.She knows you will be up for sex,why wouldn't you be,its on a plate and you still love her.
I always advocate no contact after a split,yes it hurts but in the long run it allows for recovery and eventually moving on.If your still in contact it's like its not over but one of you will meet somebody new eventually and that opens another can of worms.
I would tell her no to meeting up, and ask her not to contact you again,for your own sake. But its up to you at the end of the day.
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A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (14 November 2012):
 Thats strange, for a women you claim to be conservative she is being pretty liberal about sex???
But anyway, you guys still have feelings for each other and throwing sex into the mix after your break up might complicate the 'letting go' process. Being a man and all you probably want to take advantage of the situation because you dont mind sex on the side but this could be a way for her to creep back into your life. Remember she is not over you yet so her reasons for having sex could range from, maybe she misses you and just wants 'closure' sex to
Maybe she is hopeful that when you guys get 'together' then maybe you will realise what a great woman she is and you might change your mind and work things out or its a plot - she can fall pregnant with your baby on purpose some women do that as an assurance that you stay around or even marry her. In other words just be careful because 'harmless sex' with an ex comes with so many attachments and connotations.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2012): "she says she can't imagine not talking to me. that she couldn't bare the thought of not having me around."
"she just admitted to me yesterday that she can't imagine not having me in her life, and that she does still love me. so i know there's still feelings involved."
That's what she SAYS, you don't know if she really means it so you don't know if there are still feelings involved.
"so is it really just sex? what's really going on here? maybe i'm reading too much into this. thanks."
Whatever she's up to, and I doubt it's anything good, she is using the obvious conniving female canine tactic of attempting to override your brains and backbone by appealing directly to your dick to lure you into whatever trap she plans on setting.
DO NOT be a fool and fall for it. You two are incompatible as a couple no matter how much you profess to "love" her, no matter how much you want to believe she "loves" you, no matter how much she SAYS she wants to feel your steely dick inside her loins, and that is NOT going to change. Don't let her stroke your ego and fluff your vanity in order to play you for a sap, sucker and fool.
Whatever games she's playing, she's playing games. Get her out of your life for good, or else get ready to hand your dick and balls over to her on a platter. No middle ground.
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A
female
reader, dineshabell123 +, writes (14 November 2012):
i think she is just using you
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