A
male
age
36-40,
*eolakins
writes:I met my girlfriend online. She lives about 3 states away from me. I suspect that she is cheating on me. We onl get to talk by emails, chat rooms, etc. and she isnt comfortable about her giving me her number. Whenever she does get on, its already night time. Shes christian and she says its against her religion to cheat. Then when I email her, it takes her about an hour to respond to ONE email. She even approaches other guys in ways, to me, that seem like shes interested in them in a relationship kind of way. Ive asked her a thousand times if shes cheated on me and always says "no im not, its against my religion and i love you too much". could she be cheating? Is there an way how I can monitor her online and other activities?
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chat room, cheated on me, christian, I love you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, keolakins +, writes (8 December 2007):
keolakins is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBaby Duck, I would like to say thank you. I never really considered that it could be because of my possesivness.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007): I dont mean to be rude here, but SERIOUSLY MAN!!This isn't a relationship! Who are you trying to kid?You live 3 states away, okay not a big deal, because I'm in a long distance relationship BUTyou only talk by email or chat rooms. you dont even have her number!jeeez. how can you call her your girlfriend when you dont even know her number?!?!?!?!!And you're acting totally possesive, what is she supposed to drop everything and stay online for hours incase you email.How can you even think about having a proper relationship with her if you want to "moniter her activities" oh my god. thats so out of order. snooping aroundIf you keep acting like this you'll drive her away.
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (8 December 2007):
 She is not your girlfriend! Whatever you may have said to each other on chat if you and her don’t even talk on the phone she is not your girlfriend, no way no how. In fact, she may not be who she presents herself to be. She could even be a guy! Ever thought about that?
So if I were you lets settle that issue first, and then move on to the other details. You don’t have any way of monitoring her from where you are short of hiring a detective in her state. And you are insane to even think you should do this. Leave her alone and give her some space. You are being too possessive for a guy who doesn’t even have her phone number.
SO I suggest you stop fooling yourself about the nature of this relationship, whatever it is it’s not as serious as you think it is. I'm sure you probably shared a lot on chat, and that’s good. But chat alone does not a relationship make. You have to hear each others voice, if not see each other face to face on cam to even approach being girlfriend/boyfriend.
If I were you I’d be dating girls near you and only take this as a friendship for now. Don’t jump the gun and make her your girl, a girl whom you never talked to or laid eyes on. I’m not saying break up with her, but be realistic here. If it’s meant to be, she will eventually give you her number and you can find a greater connection. But for now be patient, be very patient. And stop being possessive.
Take care and do the right thing.
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