| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: So let's start with some context shall we?There are three people at play here: me, one of my friends (male), and my best friend (female). I have known both as friends for the better part of the last half decade and to further add, they have been in a relationship for almost just as long. They are now engaged and only months away from being married.Now, in an all too common tragedy, I have become the best friend that has fallen in love his best friend. Me and her get along so well, have common interests, beliefs, and are pretty much aligned in terms of financial and educational angles. Essentially we can comfortably confide in one another and be alone with another. Some of her behavior over the past while has led me (and others) to believe that a part of her feels the same way. This is of course without things ever getting sexual (call it a misplaced loyalty to a guy friends and respect from both people).He has gone off to another city for his career. She will shortly be joining him there. For the better part of the past year she has told both me and him that she is extremely unhappy with uprooting and leaving. This place is after all where her career is established, friends and family are. She does not like the place she is moving to as there are literally no prospects for jobs in her field and little to do in the town. She goes on to list many other doubts like his lack of financial responsibility and his many faults blah blah blah.Recently the situation came to them almost breaking up over his lack of sacrifice and her sacrificing everything. As much as it killed me I became the one she turned to for advice in which I did the right thing (call it foolishly having the guys back) and convinced her that the move is worth it - despite feeling quite the opposite. Long story short, all it took was a week of tears and phone calls in which she was convinced to go - obviously the above circumstances remain unchanged.So here's the dilemma.I want to tell her how I've felt for the past while before she leaves. My motives? I need to get it out of my system even though I don't see this as leading anywhere other than satisfying my curiosity. I've known her long enough that their relationship is too strong for her to just get up and leave him for some guy on the sidelines. But as terrible as this sounds, I don't see their relationship lasting very long.Is it wise to possibly ruin a great friendship right now and any future chances by speaking my mind? Or is it better to let these feelings brood/haunt me until whatever comes in the future.
View related questions:
best friend, engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Think of it another way maybe your ment for each other.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ A reader, anonymous,
Here in lies another problem. What would it mean for things to go well? I for one cannot fathom what the right answer to that question would be.
Perhaps this is telling of my lack of courage in this situation but I've been burdened by this feeling that I have finally stumbled across the girl that I could not have.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Tell her!!! Dont let the chance of a life time get away. Dont let her walk out that door with out her knowing how you feel about her. If she doesnt feel the same way then that is her loss, but you cant let her go to another city with her thinking that you approve of her leaving her life and you for one guy that probably doesnt even care how she feels about leaving. Tell that you where tired of playing the best friend and you had to finally speak your mind. I wish you luck. An I pray that it goes well.
...............................
|
