A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I went through a very bad period in my life almost a year ago and experienced a lot of intense emotional pain and the feeling of causing someone else intense pain. At one point, I became overwhelmed to the point of not being able to get out of bed. The thought of feeling anything like that again makes me feel sick. It's sort of like if you eat a food and get sick and vomit, the thought of whatever food you ate just sounds disgusting.Anyway, I don't do lots of the things I used to because I don't want to feel any of those emotions again. I don't go to movies unless they're mindless action with very little chance of romance. I don't read anymore for the same reason. I don't like any television that has anything to do with dating or relationships.Is this normal? Will I go back to how I was? Thinking about those feelings right now just make me feel intense stress.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): Sounds like you have a severe dose of depression--you should see a doctor or therapist ASAP.
Now, you said this "feeling" of not wanting to do anything was due to the fact that you caused emotional pain for someone else? What extactly do you mean? Give more insight on that and then maybe the posters can help you out a bit more.
A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 You give very few details but here is what I can make of this.Firstly, see a doctor for what sounds as a depression (not getting out of bed, your trouble with the past, and so on).When you are badly burnt, you stay away from the burner. In your case, you have probably developed a fear of relationships in general due to this bad experience you have had. You will need to carefully remove yourself from this area of thinking and do yourself some work of justice so you can have a very nice relationship in the future. If you are confused and pessimist about what happened, you need to understand what exactly went wrong, and every aspect of your mind that causes this blockage, as well as come to terms with the past and the fact you could do as much or as little with the amount of knowledge you had then and the person you were. Many get off on the wrong foot, make some mistakes and have less than satisfactory experiences but they also improve using what they have learnt along the way, so in order to feel better, start working on healing yourself, on your knowledge on relationships and of the human being, so you can make wiser choices next time. All the best.
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