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Is it bad that I look for the qualities I desire but my boyfriend lacks, in other guys?

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Question - (13 November 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello, I think I need another opinion on this because I don't know if I'm wrong for this or if other's feel the same...

I have a boyfriend who I've been with for over 3 years, we're happy but he has some bad qualities which are normal because it doesn't make him a bad person or anything. It's just that for about a year now, I've found myself gaining crushes on other guys because they have certain qualities I wish my boyfriend had. They're not just physical either, they're personality traits that if say I combined a guy that had the qualities I wanted ...in with what I have in my boyfriend now, he would be the perfect man...Am I being shallow for this???

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (13 November 2008):

Butterflyfly agony auntMaybe you're not that into your boyfriend. We all have good and bad /attractive and unattractive traits,and perhaps the best way of figuring this out is having some space from him just to see how much you miss him and what you miss in him. You don't need to shock him by asking for some space, but take it subtly, for a week or so, avoid seeing him, see if have discovered new insights.

In a way you are focusing on your boyfriend's faults/lack of certain 'qualities' - could this be your insecurity,you trying not to get too close/to attached to your boyfriend?

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