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I'm so sad and desperate.How do I get over him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 September 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2008)
A female China age 36-40, *unshinee writes:

I fall in love with someone who will never love me back. But I just do not want to give him up, even I konw that I should. It's so hard for me.

Sometimes we meet and I had the most romantic time with him. It's the most painful when we had to part. Of course, it's him who want to leave.

I tried hard to focus on my school.It worked sometimes, but also there are times when I find myself out of control.

I'm so sad and desperate.I need to get over him, but it was so hard. I want to be with him.

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A female reader, sunshinee China +, writes (18 September 2008):

sunshinee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I thank all of you who gave me a helping hand. You have helped me to get the real picture.Yes,I will definitely move on, towards sth really matters for my life and career.

Attitudes decide everything.

Meeting him is still a blessing.I will just keep him in my locked memory and move on.I guess God has bigger plan for me.

Again thank you girls.I wish you all the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008):

I went throught this same exact thing. You have to stop allowing this man to put a value on you. I know you love him but he doesn't feel the same about you, I know there are moments that makes you believe that he does but if he did you two would be in a committed relationship right now. You are probably clinging to the moments in the beginning and trying desperately to get that back. Right now you are settling for the little scraps he is willing to offer, and that just isn't fair to the wondeful,worthy person you are. The best way to get over him is to simply stop thinking about your past with him and what could have been. For whatever reason his feelings have changed are not the same as yours and you simply must accept it. The power of attraction is real. You become what you constantly brood over. If you choose to think about what truly makes you happy it will be better. Tell yourself that you are to good for him, tell yourself you are too much woman for him and that he's stupid for not seeing what a rare find you are. These are not just words they are all true. Do you really want to spend your life with a man that can't see that? Stop worrying about what he is doing or who he is doing it with. You may think he's the best man in the world now but if you allow yourself to move on and heal you "will" meet a man that will put this present one to shame. Everyday just start off with pleasant beautiful thoughts toward yourself and realize you are worthy of all the things that you want for youself. Take those negative thoughts out of your mind and focus on how to become the woman you were meant to become. This man will only stop you. For whatever reason something is intervening with you making a mistake, if it is meant to be it will be, but if it's not then try your best to move on. He may need a few years to get himself together and maybe one day he will realize what he wanted was right before his eyes, but wheather he sees that are not is not your problem. You keep it moving an start walking on the path to becoming all that you are to become. You are wonderful..Psalm 34 17-18

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A female reader, CNKlives United States +, writes (17 September 2008):

It is hard, I know. The best way to get over someone is to keep yourself busy. Go out with your girlfriends, rent movies, read magazines and books. Eventually when you get used to him not being there life will get back to normal. It just takes time but the pain WILL go away...keep yourself busy and keep on smiling. xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008):

I'm so so sorry. Realizing that you love and need someone more than they do you is one of the hardest things to do in this life... and yes, I'd know. You say there is absolutely no chance of you two being together? I don't know if I'd agree with you, but the best thing you can do right now is talk about it. Tell him exactly how you're feeling, the agony, the hurt, the wanting to get over him but not knowing how... if he already knows or you really just can't do that, then talk to a close friend or relative. Talking about it and getting all of your feelings out WILL help. Good luck!

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A female reader, lovesagiftkeepitsafe United Kingdom +, writes (17 September 2008):

lovesagiftkeepitsafe agony auntget over him, theres plenty of nicer guys out there that will love you back, and you can have much more romantic times with some who does love you back. go out wiv you mates have fun and try and forget about this other lad, theres not point wasting your time with some one who dont love you or like you in the same way as you love him. good luck

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