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*ngel-lee
writes: I am a 21 year old female and my partner is 26 and we have just found out that i am expecting our child. I was scared at first but soon came around, we are both madly in love with eachother and we both know that we will always be together but i havent told my mum and dad yet and im afraid that they are going to disown me or say horrible things, i am a woman now, not a child but i know that to my mum and dad i am still their little baby. I dont know how to tell them without causing an argument. Can someone please give me advice.Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blooregard +, writes (4 May 2006):
You are 21 years old. It is YOUR life not theirs and you should tell them you hope they are proud that you are going to be a mother soon
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (3 May 2006):
 Congratulations!!
You need to bite the bullet and tell them.. ...are you serious about each other? Then take your parents out for a meal. Say to them that you are very happy (prepare the ground first!) and you have some very happy news to give them. If you are out in public they cannot cause a scene. But they shouldn't anyway because if you play it right they will be infected by your happiness first. Hit them with the "you are going to be grandparents " thing, put the onus on what joy they are going to get out of this. And if they see this baby as anything other than a blessing, just give them time and they will come round. I promise.
Having a baby is a joyful time!! ENJOY!!!!
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A
female
reader, Clarey +, writes (3 May 2006):
 CONGRATULATIONS, don't forget to be very happy while you worry about your parents. I am a lot older than you and my parents still treat me like their baby! Part of the right of passage into adulthood usually involves a clash or two. You may just have to brace yourself. I think that any upheaval will be temporary. You could consider telling them that you you have become engaged - if you want - (would they expect to be asked for permission?) and follow with the fact that this is sooner than you planned because of an unexpected but welcome bonus.
You don't say whether you still live at home, you may already be independent. If not and they see that you have made some plans it will help. This clash-time involves breaking away and not being so vulnerable to other people's opinions of you including your parents. It is scarey though. Firm and loving, take control. If you go in positive, happy, delighted, excited, it will be harder for them to react. If they are used to telling you off and you look like you expect it, it may be harder. In any circumstance it will be a shock so do not take the first reaction from them to heart. You are their little girl, becoming a grandparent is an emotional thing for people as it pushes them on a generation.
Perhaps you could prepare what you will say together to them. For example, but this is ideas, you need your own words for this very important moment:
Mum and Dad, we have asked you to meet with us because we have some very exciting news. We are very happy and it may be a surprise for you....etc etc. Then see how it goes. Don't panic or get upset if you can help it. If they say "WHAT?! Get out of my house!" Be ready and positive again, such as, "I love you both very much. When you are over the shock I hope that you will be pleased. I know I have grown up and it may feel too fast for you, but I know we will be good parents thanks to your example. We hope that you will call us when you are ready and that it will be soon". Then leave to give them time to settle. It won't be long before everything is OK. This is absolutely wonderful and nothing they say should take that away from you. They will love your child.
Very warm wishes and high hopes for your new family.
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