A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear AllI’m very innocent and 15; I have never had a ‘ petty girlfriend’ – a relationship tat means nothing. I have never kissed a girl etc. I never intended to have true feelings of love to a female until 16-18+.Last year a girl who I thought was a wonderful person, showed great emotion to me. she made me experience love for the first time (as in the emotion), after six months I realised she used me for attention as I’m rather well for not being anything (as in trend) people think I’m fun but sensible and different, my colleagues respect me a lot, she wanted respect and attention.I have just moved, I have little friends in my town (as school is elsewhere) and my parents have just split up! I desperately want that feeling of ‘love’ it made me so happy and relieved me of so much pain, I understand love isn’t an item it comes appropriately and when it’s right (I have love of course from my family etc), but I want love like I experienced with that colleague who messed me around, we never went further then a hug but I loved the feeling for those six months!!!What should I do?Thanks
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male
reader, duce00  +, writes (5 September 2007):
 You strike me as quite mature for your age so I wont treat you like a little kid.
Can you see the connection between your parents divorce and your desire to feel love? I sure can. Love is such a darned complicated thing. It takes on so many different qualities depending on the situation. Love to me has alot to do with commitment and that chemical bonding with somebody. Its not like the movies where there is two people running through a flowery field to eachother as the violins swell. I guess thats why I identify with your desire to feel what I believe love to be. When life dishes out turmoil its normal to want stability. Many people seek stability in the form of relationships when the feel like the world is crashing in on them. I havnt really seen this work very well (yup I tried it). Look inside yourself and make sure of what it is you are seeking. Love with a girl wont solve your family issues. You will have to deal with that one with or with out a girlfriend. You may even have better odds at having a nice girl in your life if you can use that keen mind of yours to peer inside yourself and begin to sort out your feelings.
I sincerly hope you get through this rough time. There is much ahead of you and I can tell that you are well on the road to a happy and prosperous life. You may not see it yet but hang in there my boy.
Best wishes,
Duce
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Hi
Well, if you say that that girl used you, you should realize that you chose the wrong person and that you shouldn't make the same mistake again.
Don't let those feelings of loneliness make you reach out for just anyone. Also, don't desperate! Analyze, is it really crucial for you to feel "wanted" by the opposite sex?
You're still very young, so don't rush it! As you grow, you will realize so many things, and perhaps, what it really means to love someone for real...Which is very difficult by the way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Ohhh, you.I'm a girl.And i feel the SAME way.I don't know what else to do.Just thought I'd let you know you're not alone.I think you should just go up and ask a girl out that you like.We girls are shy.Stupid, actually. 33
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (4 September 2007):
Be patientRemember that love is not a feeling, it's an action.... look around you and try to see beauty in the world and in people
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