A
male
age
36-40,
*SL
writes:Hi. I am currently in an unhappy 2 and a half year relationship. I really want to break up with my girlfriend. Trouble is she really adores me and i am so terrified at breaking her heart. I know what to do but i just need some support and advice on how to break up with her. Thanks :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, muffy  +, writes (18 December 2007):
 ok,when you break up with her,be nice and tell her why.me and my boyfriend went out for a month or 2 and i was sohooo attached to him.we broke up 6 times so i was used to it.but when he broke up with me the 6th time,it was for good!i was soo heartbroken because he wouldnt tell me why he broke up with me and he said he never wants to talk to me again and he doesnt wanna be friends.so make sure you 2 are still friends and you keep in contact.hope i helpedlove and kisses
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (25 November 2007):
 Hey sugar, if you aren't happy in the relationship, then you know you have to end it. Do it in the most nicest way possible. Tell her the truth of why you are doing it, and let her know you still want to be friends. I hope i helped, Feel free to mail me aout anything x
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 If you are not able to handle the risks invovled in relationships, then do not get into them. Breaking up is the risk you take.
You do not have to be cruel about it, but you DO need to be direct and honest about it. Her heart is ALREADY breaking being with a man that is unhappy being with her.
THAT last part is going to fuck her up MORE than any break up.
Consider this also, it is much much easier for women to meet someone new than it is for a man, as women are the ones being approached most of the time. She is capable of getting another man in her bed the same night you break up with her...whereas, unless you have someone lined up, or have incredible good looks or skills at attracting women, might take more time.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): I'm in the exact same situation now and wish I knew what to tell you--and myself! I can tell you that I broke it to him last night and he became very angry; if this happens to you, stay calm and firm in your decision, and she may come around to really listen after the initial shock. This is when you can explain your reasoning and remind her that it's for the best (ie, you care for her but don't want to drag either of you further into something that just won't work).
I was on the receiving end of this in my last relationship and really there's no way to keep her heart from breaking, just look to minimize the damage by being gentle and clear. It helped a lot for me to know that he wished me well and would never forget what we shared--it adds a bit of love and hope to an otherwise very bleak experience.
Take care and good luck to us both!:)
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A
female
reader, fifi the1st  +, writes (24 November 2007):
I know from experience that it isnt very nice to break up with somebody insensitively as in over the phone or whatever. The best you can do is be honest and tell her the story. Expect her to have a tantrum or two but i would definetly say do it as soon as possible and as honestly as possible. Hope it helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): There is no kind or easy way to break up with someone. What needs to be done, needs to be done.
Yes she may adore you but there is obviously some reason that you dont feel the same right? The kindest thing you can do is do it as soon as possible, dont drag it out and dont play games. Make a choice and stick to it, when she asks why, you have to be truthful. It will effect the way she conducts her relationships in the future.
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