A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i've been with boyfriend for 3 years(i'm 30 hes 38) and we live together. he's out of work and ive got a stressful job.we love and trust each other.problem is his friends.one visits daily and he sees others regularly.i see friends too but my shifts are unsocial and i enjoy time alone with him or myself frequently and its not happening.we've spoke about it but no change.im getting depressed,have a history of it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): Hey
fact is he's not working and you are. However unintentionally or subconciously you put this element into your description of the situation so therefore obviously realise the friction this is causing in the relationship.
Obviously this is not an issue you can discuss outright with your partner that would cause more problems than its worth but here's a novel idea.
Knowing that your schedule is heavy and knowing the freuency of his friends visits, make 'appointments'. spontaneity is not neccessarily a good thing for two adults with their own feelings. Knowing that you have a 'date' means that you know that you'll get time alone and he can tell his friends that he has a prior engagement.
Don;t stay in the house-
1 go to a resturant- one that you haven;t been to before try something new and experience it together
2. museums and theatres are good because you can go and see something that you can discuss at a bar instead of work or your problems and it brings you together
There is compromise to be made between an issue that to pick at it, as 'helpful' girl suggests will cause more problems than its worth.
Get together and love each other
Hope it helps.
God Bless,
excogito
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