A
male
age
41-50,
*oodbutnotgifted
writes:Ok folks heres a doozy, I am looking for women preferably who may have suffered an imbalance after pregnancy. but the story is; My wife is acting very erraticly of late, she throws things at me and the kids and she has started hitting, we are surrounded by her family who all swears she is the golden child, so they cant help me, but I am beggining to feel irresponsible for sitting by, what can I do? what worked for you? I love her but for the kids I have to do something, we dont mean anything at all to her anymore, in fact I managed to prove my point to her the other day that she shouldnt give me advice on my methods with the kids and she went "shopping" to return two and a half hours later with a gallon of milk and carton of eggs packing the "Yea, who's the man now." look on her face. and she told me yesterday that she would cheat as a way to strike a blow if I ever did her wrong. I can no longer pull punches and be forgiving. the damage she is doing to the kids alone is irreperable.Can I get custody without her knowing to have leverage enough to get her to straighten out? right now if I tell her anything she cant deny she gets mean and runs around. I want a resolution that would involve a family in the end, but I know it isnt probable if this continues. I have 100% exposure to the kids and if she tries to do anything for any one of the three, I have to chase down the bottle change the diaper chase them around the room, whatever she just sits there and coaches me. I am already responsible for the dishes and laundry, yard and carpets. In fact her friends come over when I wont let her leave, (making her take time with our kids) she'll call her friends and they leave their husbands or boyfriends with her surfing the internet, while they follow me around and help me with the kids. What is the deal. I dont care how I got here but we tried counceling and that didnt help. what to do? any help is apreciated, thank you.
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male
reader, goodbutnotgifted +, writes (21 February 2007):
goodbutnotgifted is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks, we did have a heart to heart and things are going to be better, I am a bit to controling and she is having concerns about the post natal too. We will set up an apointment in the morning. Thanks for the help
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 When was your baby born? This sounds to me (obviously a non medical opinion) that she's suffering from an extreme form of post natal depression which is surprisingly common in women. She probably feels you're not supporting her and trying to overrule her at every opportunity. You need to get rid of the kids for the night and sit down and talk to her calmly. Assure her that you love her and that's why you're thinking it might be an idea to talk to the doctor about how she's feeling. PND can be controlled with a mixture of anti depressants and therapy. It seems worth trying this before writing off your marriage completely.
CD
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A
female
reader, Psyche +, writes (20 February 2007):
Oh how sad. I am so sorry for your chaos. No one can diagnose your wife but a physician but she sounds like she may be experiencing bi-polar or possibly more extreme issues. Often times it is hormonial and can be soothed with help from a professional. If she wont seek counseling then you should leave with the kids.
As her husband you can have her committed for a brief time to get a proper evaluation. I know it sounds awful, but it is better then her harming you, herself or the kids. Just call child protective or the police and explain what is happening. Get their advice.
You will end up with custody if she is proven un-fit.
I am sorry. I think the right thing is to get professional help. Nothing anyone says on here will make her better.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Has been checked out by her doctor? She may have a postpartum disorder. See if you can get her to go to her doctor and get checked out. If she won't do it then see if you can get someone in her family to witness her behavior. You may have to insist she stay with family for awhile in order to protect your children. Be prepared this could get really messy and nasty. Try to document as much as you can so if it does come down to a custody battle, you'll have evidence to support your side.
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