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I only get to see my Gf once a week and feel lonely when we are apart, is this a problem?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Not sure if this constitutes as a problem but I wanted some input on this. I've been with my girlfriend for quite a while (around 7 months) and I only get to see her once a week, when I'm not around her I sometimes feel lonely, any advice on what I can do?

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (1 November 2008):

Butterflyfly agony aunthi, I know exaclty how you feel. I only get to see my boyfriend ( if I'm lucky) one sunday a week. I still havent learnt how to cope withthe loneliness in my relationship( I am 'havin fun' with my friends, but it's just passing the time and living until the next meet-up). My advice is talk to her, tell her how you feel and ask her to sit down wiht you and work out a better strategy. It's obvious that this could turn into a big problem. Your expectations could be different from what she would ever be willing/avaiable to offer. I think discussing these things with her will save you a lot of assuming and will help you decide whether this relationship is indeed healthy for you. all the best.

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A female reader, angelrockheart United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2008):

I know how you feel - apart from the fact that your girlfriend sounds decent - my boyfirend and I only see each other once a week and I suspect he is cheating on me - feeling lonely is a sign that you love your girlfriend very much- ask your girlfried if she feels the same way when you next see her - good luck x

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (31 May 2008):

bubbloo24 agony auntI was recently in a relationship where we rarely got to see each other... probably about 2-3 months each time. At one point, we didn't see each other for 6 months so I know how you are feeling. To begin with, when we were together it was really great, but the time apart brought us to go our separate ways. we're still friend though and keep in each other's lives.

We split up because he was very unhappy - he felt stressed and unhappy due to lack of seein each other which then led to a distance between us even when we were together.

If you feel so unhappy, are you sure this is what you want? If you are losing grasp of who she really is and you feel upset all the time - that's not what a relationship should feel like really, is it?

I know this is quite a different situation as the amount of time in not seeing the person isn't the same, but the circumtances are similar.

Is there any way of seeing her more?

If you really still feel like there's something to work on take her out places on the one day you can see her and go on dates and stuff - have some fun so that you can look forward to being with her rather than feeling upset that she's not there.

But as I have said, sometimes if you feel so upset in a relationship you have to draw the line.

How does she feel about it all? Is she sad a lot of the time too? Because if you are both unhappy, it's not a healthy relationship. Some people have to see their partners more than others and if your needs arn't being fulfilled, the relationship may turn out that you may start blaming her for not being there.

I know how harsh and difficult what I have said may sound, but I do think that if you are feeling so unhappy that you should find someone who can fulfil your needs.

When me and my long dist. bf split, I realised that I felt happier knowing that he would be happier if I let him go and that he wouldn't be feeling stressed or worried about us any more and that he has the chance of being with someone who will truely make him happy.

I think you should take what I have said into consideration at least. I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but think about it - is this relationship working or is it all too much?

I hope this helps.

xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

incredible. I've been with this girl for roughly the same amount of time and I know what you mean.

If there's no way to see each other more than once a week then it can't be helped; I imagine it's either the distance or a result of how busy your schedule is, or both. But like you said, not sure if it's a problem; in some ways, it shows you have other priorities, you have your own life to get on with in addition to her and that's probably a good thing. It's not a waste of time to see each other but, so long as you find other things to do that need doing(I found a lot of things to keep myself busy), it's not so bad. I'd like to see my girlfriend more often too, but after awhile I felt like I had enough confidence in the relationship that I could focus on other aspects of my life and not have it falter.

You should discuss it with her, maybe she feels the same way. So long as you both have an understanding, everything is cool. And you know, being able to see each other all the time, sometimes makes you take it for granted. Being away from her gives me a chance to miss her; it reminds me of the what I value about the relationship in the first place. Anyway, best of luck man.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

hey,

well, you are a lucky person! i get to see mine evry 3 months! well. i get what you mean completly, and what helps is not going to clubs or being the third wheel, cause then youºll get upset. You guys could try open relationship too.

if you dont fancy that much then watch comedys (not romantic ones) and play sports. call her through skype cas tehen its cheaper. end her letters, emails, cards.

go to bars with freinds who wont hook up. cause its psychological: ifu se someone hoooking up you automatically want that too. thats really all i can think of :]

I hope I helped.

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