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I feel used, confused and I'm hiding from this man!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2009)
A female France age 30-35, *Hme writes:

hi everyone,

I really want to talk to someone about something that has been going on in my life for almost 3 years ago...but no one in my daily life really want to listen; so I've decided to be a part of this website to be able to communicate with you all.

when I was 16 I met this guy, we loved each other since the first look but day after day I discovered that he only wanted sex and everytime we were together we went a little bit farther and farther until we began to have sex; not the "traditionnal version" of it but there are many positions ..you know. things were becoming more sexual and he broke up with me after two times of "intemicy"...I was very very down, he was my first real boyfriend so I lied to him saying that I was pregnant just to stay with him, I was very bad, The worse days of my life because the truth came out very soon and I thought I lost him for good; but a years after, we talked online and we met, I was so happy and over excited to see him but we went to a house and we slept together, I hated myself, but we did have sex after that time and this is when I lost my virginity, almost 9 months ago..I felt horrible and I didn't want to see thim anymore.

now the real question is what to do to start over, what to do to forget all the love and the sacrifice because I tried to start something new but I end up turning my phone off every time and just hiding in my home ..he called me just a week ago and I send him a texto to let me go and to stop using me; but I feel so confused; please help me and excuse my bad english and my long question..

View related questions: broke up, lost my virginity, text

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A female reader, OHme France +, writes (30 November 2009):

OHme is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OHme agony aunthello andd thank you all for you help; I guess I should stay away from him and for the one who said that I should talk to him, I think that it wont do anything because I've tried to do so everytime we meet but he just doesn't listen; thank you so much sweetnest and cheesy18 I loved your answers; God bless

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

I think you really nef to take time to yourself in order to know what you really want.so he turns you on but you feel used. Is it because of something he does or it has to do with your moral grounds? do you feel you deserve better or the uncertainity of the the relationship puts you of? what is it that disturbs you? better be sure and go flat out to do what you feel is rite than regret that you went along with him or you let him go. Ball is in your hands. Wish you luck.

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A female reader, cheesy18 Canada +, writes (30 November 2009):

cheesy18 agony auntLosing your virginity is a huge thing although to some it is nothing. You will sadly always have a connection with this guy because he is the one that took it but you cant tel him to stop using you when you could clearly end it. turning off your phone does nothing. You have to be straight with guys or they think its a game. tell him the way you feel and the fact is that with him around you cant move on. chances are he'll leave you alone. Second take time and reflect on the positives in your life not the negatives. You may not be a virgin but i know one of my friends used to refer to herself as the half virgin as she had still lost it but regrets it so she's half still innocent in a sense. Chill with your friends in a positive atmosphere as i'm guessing you said no one would listen is that maybe you possibly dragged on the situation too long and didnt take their advice or felt like they didnt understand.

First Step: tell the guy how i is to face

Step Two: Cry as much as you need to in private with no one around and get it all out

Step Three: take a deep breath and move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

so you love sex with him but you feel like you are nothing more than a booty call? Then i agree you need to break ties and regain your self respect...do not be available for him. Mal

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

hun listen to me ive been there and i think its best if u or someone he knows to set him down and tlk to him about how u feel if u dont do that first then u will be confused about this for years

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A female reader, OHme France +, writes (30 November 2009):

OHme is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OHme agony auntthnx for your answer,

to be honest with you, I find him very sexually attractive and that's why he was my "favorite drug" ..it's killing me, do I return to just be a sexual object and to always wait for him to satisfy me Or do I have to look for a more responsable relationship?? I know that the second choise is the better but it is soo hard to resist ....!

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A female reader, Smitty babyy United States +, writes (30 November 2009):

I would say you should leave it all behind...get a man who wants you for you not sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

so you dont like him or is it just that you resent the fact that you are attracted to him and gave him more than yu meant to? im not sure what the problem is....is he mean or hateful or something...or why have you turned on him?

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A female reader, sweetnest United States +, writes (30 November 2009):

i know is hard, but you are doing the right thing by not answering his calls. Is very obvious that he is using you just for sex, so i suggest for you to move on. dont answer his calls. Because if he really love you he would do something about it, and he is not. so just give yourself some time. and take it day by day, is hard but you would be able to move on. go out with your friends and have fun.

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