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I can't move from dating to a serious relationship.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 November 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have a question here for those with some experience in dating and having a serious relationship.

I keep having a recurring problem, which is I can't move from dating to a serious relationship. Every time I finally find someone to date, we go out a few times and all goes well until they go off on a holiday.

Every time they come back, they will have cooled off and will not want to progress things. I always take things slowly at the start and try not to overcrowd them, do not express how I feel about them too early, give compliments when due, listen to them, try to learn more about them and their family, surprise them with small gifts when appropriate. In other words, I am always considerate towards them. I don't try to lock lips with them from date one, but leave that up to them when they feel comfortable.

I feel life will pass me by without finding someone. Any advice on how to make a woman keen to turn dating into a serious relationship? Is there anything I can do or am missing?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008):

Hi,

Thank you for all the replies so far. I think asking one of the previous dates would be a good idea. I do take care of the basics, like good hygiene, clothes, timing, attitude. I know I am genuine and don't muck around. But there may be something I am missing though, so will follow your advice and ask an ex-date. Any other ideas or comments very welcome.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (13 November 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntI agree with Butterflyfly, I think you need to turn up that charm a notch. It seems like you have all the right ideas, but you're saving them for later in your relationship - well, why wait? Bust out a little bit here and there and don't be afraid to make a move.

By not kissing your lady, they might thing you're not interested. Kiss her at the end of the date if you enjoyed her company! Keep things PG, that can be your way of keeping things classy... there's no need to slobber all over the gal. But, I think you're holding back just a little too much.

You sound like a real prize catch. A lady will be thrilled to have you!!

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (13 November 2008):

Butterflyfly agony auntMaybe you should 'get inthere' as soon as the opportunity arises. All the polite restpectful considerate dating is fine, but a man sticks in a woman's mind if he actually make a MOVE on her.. MAybe the ladies take your 'considerate' behaviour as lack of interest on your side. Turn the passion on. Play a little bit. See where it takes you.

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A female reader, Butterflyfly United Kingdom +, writes (13 November 2008):

Butterflyfly agony auntMaybe you should 'get inthere' as soon as the opportunity arises. All the polite restpectful considerate dating is fine, but a man sticks in a woman's mind if he actually make a MOVE on her.. MAybe the ladies take your 'considerate' behaviour as lack of interest on your side. Turn the passion on. Play a little bit. See where it takes you.

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