A
female
age
30-35,
*emperFi
writes:Well...Here's the thing...At 16, first year of college, I started seeing this guy who I knew back in Primary School. I found out I was moving and we ended it. Even though we were moving, I started dating someone else...a second year in college.This first guy thought I had been cheating on him when I honestly hadnt.Me and the second year, lets call him...Harm. Harm and I were great together. We were always cuddling and kissing when we had the chance. We had these amazing conversations in person, on MSN, on the phone...we just did.A lot of stress was put on our relationship when he joked about us having sex before we were even 2 months into the relationship. Even though I knew he was joking, I felt uncomfortable and told him we'd have to see where things led.We had been seeing each other what...a month and a half, and people were asking how he was in bed, mainly my best friend..lets call her Renee.Anyway, around the same time, Harm and Renee joked about being 'sex buddies' and I washed it away, as a joke. They knew eachother well before Harm and I were dating. In fact, Renee introduced us.People in college asked if I was OK with this joke and I said yes because I trust Renee with my life. WRONG. Rumours emerged then that Harm and Renee had sex in his bed, where he and I had lay in eachothers arms. I was niaive. Did I believe them? No. So, eventually, even though I told myself I didnt believe it, I was really paranoid. I asked them to stop joking around like that and I felt like a jealous girlfriend. I ended it with him, telling him I was paranoid.So like 3/4 months later and I get told from Renee's best friend that they did sleep together. I question Renee, who Swore on her mothers life that she didnt...to my face, and she said, quote on quote "Yes ******. I'm sorry but yes. I didn't mean it and I didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't speak to me again but it wasn't [Harm]'s fault, it was mine. I was lonely and was talking to him. Im really sorry, you mean so much to me, youre one of my best friends. Im sorry."So it took a while for me and Renee to sort this out, but eventually we did. Our friendship isnt as strong as it was, but whose would be?Since then (2 months), I told Harm I know and he's ignored me, then started dating Renee...the joy I felt...Anyway, in recent weeks, Ive found myself thinking more and more about him...really thinking about him, me, us, how we used to be...I keep trying to find excuses for us breaking up. The stress of me moving. The stress of him going to Uni. The stress of our exams. The fact that people put us under pressure. I didn't know what to do...{For the record, I had been drinking and thinking A LOT}So I sent him a little message..."Harm...i dont even know what 2 put here. The truth? The truth is its 2am and im lying awake thinkn of u. Thinkn of us. Tbh, i dnt remembr y we split up bcz i didn no wt hapnd btwn u n jen and nw i do no, i dnt care. I hope we cn talk harm. I miss u harm, i mis us. Idk how u feel bwt me cz we hardly talk an i wish we did. Write back harm, please x"He hasnt replied so far and I just don't know what to do. I cant seem to work out what I'm feeling. Theres 184 Miles between us now...I don't know if I want it to work...if I don't...I showed one of my closest friends. I comfide in her for everything and she said it seems like I genuinely want him back...Im so confused!!
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best friend, jealous, kissing, msn, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ChantillyMarie  +, writes (29 December 2009):
Glad to be of service.Everyone needs some help once in a while, but this guy does sound like bad news.I knew a guy like that once, I really liked him too, but then his best friend and I got really close, and today after 5 years we're still really good friends, even if my harm doesn't like me anymore. And I realised, there are always good guys out there, you just need to know where to find them.But, my guy right now, is not perfect. But he's my Knight in shining armour.But seriously, good luck, and I wish you the best in finding yours.
A
female
reader, SemperFi +, writes (28 December 2009):
SemperFi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You ChantillyMarie (:I know what you're saying...I said that myself.Just now, when I turned on my computer "Harm" Came online and messaged me."Hey Got Ur FB Msgs"I told him how I feel...that I'm not sure why I sent the messages but I've been anxious to know how he felt.He said "OK."OK? OK?!!! So I put a little smiley face, and he typed something else."Who's number one in the charts?" :O:O:O:O So I said "Umm, Cheryl Cole or Joe McElderry I Think. What...Like...Do you have a reply to the messages or do you wanna say something or what?"He said "Cya xxx" And Went offline.I GIVE UP!!When we were together, he said we didn't talk about how we felt enough...I tell him outright how I feel and ask him how he feels and he completely ignores it!!I really do give up...thank you for your advice ChantillyMarie, it's much appreciated...xx
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A
female
reader, ChantillyMarie +, writes (28 December 2009):
Once a cheater always a cheater.
I know it's harsh.
But what's to say... "Harm"... Wont cheat on you again?
You deserve someone who treats you like a princess, who loves you for you.
Lets say your knight in shining armour.
I hope you find him, you seem like a lovely girl.
I do hope you find happiness.
Everyone deserves it.
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