A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been abstaining from casual sexual relationships for little over a year now and I'm waiting until I am in a meaning relationship as within my experiences, I believe that sex should be with someone you love and feeling loss of self respect when sleeping around. So within this year, I have had my moments of sexual frustration and sometimes I do not feel desired or sexy after being single for a few years now.I was wondering if anyone had any ideas how to feel good about yourself after being single for many years now and how to make yourself feel that little bit more confident?Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you :)
A
female
reader, aunt_dommo  +, writes (19 January 2012):
its a terrible pattern to fall into, when you don't feel wanted, or sexy, or interesting.
When i broke up with my ex, i was in the same mode, i felt like a giant blob or fat and bones, awkward and unsexy, bizarre, fat, uncomfortable, ashamed of my self.
I then started flirt excessively, bought clothes that were expensive but made me feel good of how I look and started doing yoga. I started saying things I don't mean and express likeness to people I don't want. And watch their reactions.
I tarted dating, trolling guys in variety of different ways. I'd go out, tell them how profoundly I like them and then disappear. All that caused a stir around me, which definitely made me feel wanted.
I'm sure you do the online dating. You meet all these guys who meet billions and billions of other girls and right away put some number on you, including checkbox of can/can't sleep with on the first date.
You know all that so this cynicism puts you down. Yeah, no wonder!
And its a problem with not having a special niche. Are you interested in something in particular? Do you love something in some special way? I speak of hobby. Guys from your special niche tend to be more attentive and interested of what you represent, since they love that kind of thing too.
In fact, try dancing. It's a very good way to start loving your self and your body. Tone your self up, get in touch, feel your body when you dance. It's the best feeling to know your self in this way! Go to salsa classes, however cheesy this may seem. Go to salsa nights, explore the passion, lol! Maybe this hobby will open you up, get you out of online dating, checkboxes and make you feel good and sexy again.
And don't forget, sex is not necessarily about loving someone forever, sex is sex. And its good for you, just so you know.
hope this kinda helps :)
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