A
female
age
36-40,
*heothergirl
writes:I am at it again.Yes, somehow, I manage to break up with the married guy that i was with. Yes I am still with my boyfriend of two years.what it is is that I met this guy, he works around the area that I work at. He is actually an army guy whom I think I have just a crush on because of the army uniform that he looks so good in. My problem is that he wants to have a serious relationship with me because he doesnt know that I have a boyfriend.Anyway, I dont know how to stop him from falling in love much more deeper because I dont want to hurt him.Then again, when him and I are talking we awalys end up talking about cheaters and how much he hates them.please help me find a way to tell him that we cant go any further. we have already done most things that boyfriends and girlfriends do.And from the way that the guy acts and what comes out of his mouth I know he cares about me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): othergirl, the "Army guy" is probably about your age and far away from home for the first time. He would love to have a close relationship with "somebody". Somebody who is really, seriously, interested in him,.. and we both know that is not you...don't we? And when he takes off his uniform, he looks pretty much like everybody else. So, that attraction wouldn't last long. You have been with your boyfriend for two years. There must be some serious connection there. Why he has hung in there for you is a mystery to me, but I think your best bet is to stay with him and make more of a commitment. If you can't make commitments to anyone, now,...at least have the honesty to say so. People were not put here for your convenience. They have lives of their own they must live. At least respect that, even if you have no feeling for them.
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (3 November 2007):
 hey, i think you shouldn't go any further with the other man because you have a boyfreind( i guess you already know that) but how would you feel if you knew that your boyfreind is talking to another girl and he didn't say anything about you to her? i know it hurts.i am not trying to make you feel guilty at all but you can't go on like this because you will waist two years..... a crush goes away by time but that is something that love never does.i know it is really hard for you to tell the guy you have a crush on that you have a boyfreind after he trusted you but still you have to tell him because he will hate you if you commit to him and after that he finds out that you have a boyfreind( because he ates cheaters) you still haven't cheated .. but you might, so tell him " hey i really wanna talk to you and tell you something i wanted to tell for a time now and didn't know how but it is hard for me and i hope you understand, i have a boyfreind' i guess that he will be mad but he can't stay mad forever .good luck bye XXX
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (3 November 2007):
 So you still have a boyfriend. If you're going to be playing the field, you need to end it with your boyfriend. Doing this while having a boyfriend is disrespectful, unloving (there's no way in hell you could care for him and do this).
There is a very easy solution to your problem. Open up your mouth and allow "I have a boyfriend" come out of it.
Doing this while having a boyfriend you really have some serious issues. If I acted at all like this, oh wait a minute, I wouldn't because I actually give a crap about others and not hurting them.
If you're going to continue, tell your boyfriend who you really are so he can go elsewhere and find someone to treat him well as everyone deserves to be.
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