New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244961 questions, 1084294 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

How do I get "free" again?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2009)
A female France age 30-35, *Hme writes:

hello, I have a problem, I used to be an exellent student I didn't repeat any class and everybody was respecting me and I was always the hard working girl, but in the beginning of my adolescence something changed inside of me, my parents and my sister became like strangers to me, and suddenly I found myself without friends, just alone; and this affected my school degrees; now I feel like a loser and I have many exams to pass; I'm afraid of success, when other people around me work hard, I find myself not doing anything but I know that I can be better than them, there is something very passive inside of me and I just don't know what to do to feel free again ... need your help please

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, OHme France +, writes (6 December 2009):

OHme is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OHme agony auntthank you "anonymous male reader (!)" for your advice, really thank you, it made me feel better and knowing that somebody out there has understood my situation means a lot to me, God bless

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009):

I think you're on the right track. Working hard is overrated. Working hard for its own sake is pure, unalloyed stupidity.

Would a bright girl like you decide to attempt the memorization of every name in the telephone book for no apparent reason? Attempt to count and organize grains of sand on a beach by color and size without cause? Of course not. Not unless you are suffering some kind of mental problem. Surely you will eventually ask the all-important question: Why am I to do such? What am I doing this for?

And when you are unable to successfully answer this you will prudently refuse to continue senseless projects.

You are not afraid of success, just afraid of wasting your time and effort on useless activity that has no purpose. This is a symptom of high intelligence. You have discovered that life is not about just doing what others tell you is right or appropriate (whatever the hell they think they mean by it). Congratulations!

Now you can confidently leave those mindless tasks to their appropriate instruments: machinery and the countless unquestioning idiots that surround you, so you may begin to construct a life afreash with real meaning.

Forget about your family and what they think. Look at what interests you most. Find people who think like you and contact them. When you know what you want from you life, construct a good plan. Only then, if you really want something, work hard for it. If it turns out to be not so good, by all means give up immediately so you can use your time and resources to go for something better.

Don't listen to the many fools who will undoubtedly tell you otherwise, or even try to impede you. The goal of your life is YOUR happiness and you are the person you can trust best to help you get it. Others can't be trusted with this important task as they are either unable (too stupid and/or ignorant) or unwilling (have their own agenda.)


and don't look back!

<-- Rate this answer


A female reader, OHme France +, writes (30 November 2009):

OHme is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OHme agony auntI have those issues with my parents and I have to face them everyday, I know that there is no love in our relationship and I just feel lost and all alone, sometimes I spend hours without doing anything, just thinking and I guess it all started with my parents, I need them the most when it seems like they don't care about me at all, I don't know what to do??

<-- Rate this answer


Add your answer to the question "How do I get "free" again?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft