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How can I overcome my jealousy and my fears that he might cheat and my insecurities?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ucyyy21 writes:

Please help guys. I need to stop being so insecure all the time with my boyfriend, I'm so scared im going push him away. I just get so scared he's going to cheat on me or whatever do something.

He hasn't really given me a reason to doubt him he treats me really well. What is the best way to completely just let him be, i only see him once or twice a week because of work commitments and stuff like that.

Like its Ramadan i don't get to see him for a full month and im finding it really difficult and in turn being clingy. We were just talking about marriage and he said he would marry me if i stopped being physco, he even said himself im not bad.

Just a few things i do! Past relationships have made me the way i am and truly hate the fact. I just want to not have to worry!

Anyone know the best way to go about it? I want to marry him, i do absolutely anything for him! I dont want to mess this up! We have great relationship we hardly ever right, only ever do is when i get stupid

View related questions: insecure, jealous

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A female reader, kristina kumar Italy +, writes (19 July 2014):

kristina kumar agony auntYou need to stop being paranoid. Just because your past boyfriends have hurt you doesn't mean this one will- everyone is different and this one

Seems like a nice guy by the way you wrote. Truth is really everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to find the right ones who are worth it!

Enjoy the relationship whilst you can because one day you might push him so far that he won't come back. Just relax, enjoy the times you have together and don't look for something that's wrong- he's with you for a reason. Imagine how you would feel if it was your man being paranoid etc. it wouldn't be nice. Trust me I've been there's ex cheated on me for 3 years and had a baby with someone else- I'm now with my boyfriend and have been for a year now- yes I have my trust issues- it's only natural but when something comes into your head you need to think about it properly, think is that likely to happen or am I thinking to deep. I allow myself 1 day a month to be upset and grieve the other days I just put it all aside and enjoy the time we have together if I don't I know some other woman will snatch him up.

Enjoy the relationship u have. Whatever happens happens for a reason- you can't stop somebody from doing something. Let him know how you feel maybe he will understand and more likely will. Communication is key in this situation. Whenever I have any doubts I just confront my man straight away he laughs at me sometimes and explains why such and such- then we laugh and joke about it after. Just be confident don't let your past destroy your future because you will never ever be able to move forward otherwise.

Wish you all the best.

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A female reader, tiakef Jamaica +, writes (30 June 2014):

tiakef agony auntsighs you sound like me minus his wannabe marriage proposal. Listen you have a good man, you need to relax, yes your frustrated that you don't get to see him often but from what you write he has given you no reason to doubt him. It is in your best interest to sit him down and talk to him, the fact that he is still there even though your a bit psycho as you said states he accepts you for you, in another context: you have your flaws but your actually a nice girl to settle down with.

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