A
male
age
30-35,
*lackmeister
writes:How can I build up my self-esteem? I don't normally hear black men - or men in general for that matter - talking about this, but I've never had much confidence in my looks or my personality. I've always felt inadequate for relationships with women: mostly through school life I've been mocked by them for being too skinny, or being ugly, or being boring, or other stupidness that made me resent beautiful women, because I can't help thinking of them as heartless witches, and handsome men because I'm jealous at how life seems to go fluently for them. I frequently wonder if I have some sort of presence that just moves people to despise me. Now I hit twenty and I'm completely useless at social life. I try to act confident and happy about life, but I can't fake what I don't believe, and no one seems to care about me anyway. I wouldn't say I'm on the brink of suicide, but these hordes of negative thoughts about myself can be horribly depressing, and I want to feel better about myself no matter how I look in the mirror.
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male
reader, blackmeister +, writes (26 May 2010):
blackmeister is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, this was just posted yesterday! Thanks a lot for taking time to comment you guys, your words really do help. It's difficult to remember sometimes that there are people in the world that actually care.
A
female
reader, Marinegirl8  +, writes (25 May 2010):
Be yourself. Don't try to hard and the people who say your boring or other crap like that don't know what their talking about. I'm a girl and this is from a girls point of view girls that are beautiful and get all the attention from guys fifty year from now those girls will be fat smoking a cigar and be a single mother. People with outer beauty have ego's people with inner beauty have hearts. Find someone with a heart.
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A
male
reader, Cotton223 +, writes (25 May 2010):
 i know how you feel i had the same problem when i was 20. i didn't like my physical appearance, and i felt that no girl would bother to spend time with me because of my lack of personality. What you have to do is ID the things in your life that are causing you to feel depressed, inadequate, and lowering your confidence, make a list of them if you need to. Next make a list of all the things you like about yourself and are good at and that would make you desirable to girls. Take a look at the "BAD" list, pick one item and try to work on it so that after sometime you feel comfortable putting it in the "GOOD" list. If you feel negative thoughts creeping into your head, mentally stop them, take a deep breath, think of something positive and move on. You have to keep thinking positive, you HAVE to believe that you are desirable to girls no matter how rough things get. For me it was my physical appearance that really bothered me. So i decided to start working out, you have no idea how quickly your confidence will go up. Keep in mind somethings might take a lot of time/effort take everything one day at time. If
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010): First let me tell you that the women who like men just for their looks really are heartless witches. It might be a little more difficult to find a woman to love you for your inner beauty but at least you know that she takes you for who you are. I might give you some tips on how to polish up your act. OK so I like a man with a sense of humor. Read some jokes online and try to learn yourself a cool why how you can tell them. It's also a plus to compliment a girl always, it makes them feel special. Try to look at yourself in a different way. Every person has got potential, you just didn't find yours yet :)
NightFairy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010): I'd say you hve got stuck in a bit of a rut, one day, take tommorow, do something spontaneous like buy a random lady in the street a rose then walk away! Don't ask, posibly a bad example!!
Anyway, I'd say do something spontaneous that will
put a massive grin on your face!!
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A
male
reader, Visthis +, writes (25 May 2010):
Create a list of things that you've done in your life. Keep all of them positive. Things that make you smile and remember how good it can be. Review the list daily. Also look into affirmations for yourself. Every morning or when your walking you can review them and keep the positive attitude flowing. GL
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