A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my bf has a close female friend hes nown lot longer than he has nown me, and i dont trust her cos i no she has a crush on him. she always wants to hang out with him nomatterwhat me and him mite be doing, and theres always a wierdnes in the air betwwn me and her. do i talk to him or her and what do i say?? this is really annoying me i feel like a 3rd weel
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (1 July 2007):
 You are the only one who is bothered by this, not your boyfriend or his friend. If you want to mark your territory then no one is stopping you.
You have only your inner voice to guide you through this, but I cannot see you getting any satisfaction unless you confront one or both of them with your concerns. But this is not advice - it is simply stating what you want to hear.
Listen, if you trust your boyfriend then his gal pal's behaviour, as outrageous as you think it to be, is irrelevant. If you trust your boyfriend then make your displeasure known to your boyfriend, because you trust him to do the right thing, yes?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): me again
im not worried i didnt say that wild thang. its just bothering me and i dont no how to deal wit the whole situation. i trust HIM and he nos that, its her behaviour thats drivin me crazy. i dont want him to choose betwwen me and her i just want her to stop thinkin its ok to touch him all teh time, to stop actin like im not in the picture. i donno if to ask him to talk to her or to say strate to her, stop actin like hes avalable. and like i said it bugs me he hasnt alredy asked her to stop actin the way she duz
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (30 June 2007):
Let me see if I have this straight. This girl that causes you so much worry and insecurity has a crush on your boyfriend... but he chose you over her.
And you are worried why?
If you let your insecurity drive the dynamic of the relationship then it will be you that torpedoes the thing, not this other girl.
If you start sending out vibes that you don't trust your boyfriend, you will drive him into her waiting arms.
Be honest with your boyfriend about your apprehensions without making him feel like he has to choose. Say something like, "Wow, you and xyz seem to have a comfortable friendship. Is she normally this affectionate with all of her guy friends?"
I hope this helps. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): i posted this question
i dont think she has a crush on him i no she does coz shes told him before. they hang out together without me sumtimes ,i do trust him but i wuldnt put it passed her to make a move on him anyway. i no hes alowed girl friends but this 1 makes me nervous. shes pretty and shes always tryin to touch him and put her arms roun him pretending shes bein playful. i dont wnat to upset him by makin a big deal over this cos she is his freind but i hate seeing her be that way andi t hurts he duznt tell her to stop, shuldnt he want to tell this other girl to act more aproprietly?
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (29 June 2007):
 I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about this, because i think if you speak to the friend she might not take it too well from you.
Tell your boyfriend how you feel about her spending so much time with you, and just say you would prefer to spend abit more time with just the two of you.
If you say something to her things could turn nasty especially seen as you think she has a crush on him already, she might try to stir things up between you.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, danni +, writes (29 June 2007):
hi well i think u have to talk to them both and tell them what u feel and what you want them to to do about it tell them if it doesnt change you will do something abut it. let us know how you get on.
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