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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Ive been with my fiance 7 years. When i was 19 i had an abortion as he said it wasnt the right time. 6 years on the time is right. We talked and he said he was ready. We started trying but i feel dirty having to ask for sex. I cant even get him to sleep with me every other nite let alone everyday. Ive tried to talk to him but he ignores me until i get upset and we have a fight. Its like he does it so we dont have sex. Ive asked if its because he doesnt want me or a baby but he says im imagining it. Im so sad and hurt. I want a baby so much. Im scared that by having an abortion that ive lost my only chance. Please help me ive got noone i can talk to.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 I think there are three options here.
1 He's changed his mind (but he says he hasn't so...)
2 He's scared about having a baby (give him time to think)
3 He doesn't want sex to become a chore- sometimes when couples are trying for a baby sex becomes all about that and not about spontinaety and fun. You don't have to have sex every day to make a baby. Just go with the flow and keep enjoying sex. You're still young, there's no immediate rush to have a baby!
Hope this helps.
CD
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): There's only one way I know how to be and that is brutually honest, so you've been warned.
First of all, it's never too late to have a baby unless you've hit menopause or had a hysterectomy. Second, I'd hate to say it but either he's gay, is cheating or is just not into you.
Stop fighting about it, stop stressing over it and for Heavens sake stop trying to force yourself into having a baby. Having a baby would only complicate matters.
Whatever is meant to be will be. If you can't get along and communicate before the baby, perhaps it's a good thing that it's not happening yet.
Get your head straight. Decide what it is that YOU want and need out of life and a relationship. Get your relationship straight. Find out what it is your partner wants and needs and then maybe, just maybe, you can think about adding another individual to the mix. At the very least you'll gain some insight on where the two of you stand.
Believe me, I'm experienced when it comes to these things and I have finally found the man that was right for me. We have had beautiful children together and I've been happily married for nearly 2 decades.
Take to heart what I said and best of luck!
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A
female
reader, sweetiegirl  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 your boyfriend might be just worried about becoming a father, sure it's alright to talk about it, but when you start to actually try and have one it's a totally different story, he might be afraid that he might not be a good father, just sit him down and talk to him tell him that you don't want to fight, you just want to talk about tring to have a baby, ask him if he has any worries or thoughts on it, and be honest with him about how you feel but don't sound like your blaming him tell him that your scared too and that you don't know how things are going to turn out either. But you know that you love him and that you really would love to start a family with him, make sure that you take care of all his worries, and questions.
Tell him that any problems that might come up you'll face them together as a family and a couple.
Hopefully things will work out. All the best
Sweetie
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