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female
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*lam913
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and half. We just had a baby 2 mths ago and he recently found out that I lied about how many men I have been with in my past. He now wants nothing to do with me and we live together. How do I fix our relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2005): Does it really matter how many people you've had sex with in the past? It's not like you've had an affair is it? Tell him that if he really does love you then he should drop the fact and get on with life as normal. Just make sure that you don't lie to him with things like that again otherwise he'll start to think that you've cheated on him or something.
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (1 September 2005):
there is no quick fix here, you probably regret telling him how many men you had slpept with. Never do that again. It's not really his business anyway, but whats done is done you can't take it bake. Tell him you can understand that he feels betrayed because you lied and you are sorry for hurting him. Don't even try to defend yourself. Then get out of his space for a while, avoid being around him and try to live as best you can. Tell him you still love him. Just leave it if he choose to forgive you for lying thats his business, how many men you slept with is not.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (31 August 2005):
 Perhaps you lied about the amount because you felt it was too many? It doesn't really matter, it is the past! Your partner should be mature enough to accept this very valid point. You are together now and you have the future to look forward to with your child.
Perhaps he feels he can't trust you. Just reassure him of why you lied and that it doesn't mean you aren't trustworthy or will lie in the future. Explain to him the emotions involved and ask him to let the past go so that you can both look towards the future.
I hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2005): Its a hard one this. I lied to my partner of 3 years about my sexual history. I was ashamed of some of the past choices I had made. I also wanted to protect him as I know he finds it hard to think of me being intimate with other people. What he does know is that I love him with all my heart and that he fulfils every part of me. I do not want or need any one else. We cant look back and change things but we can move forward and learn from our mistakes. If you have already had discussions like these with your partner and he still doesnt want to know, then it is no longer up to you to try and change his mind. The realtionship will only work if he is ready to forgive your lie, accept your past and work with you in building a future together.
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