A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just when I think love can't any worse it does! I'm so livid right now I feel like all of my blood vessels are about to pop! Maybe I am in the wrong but I don't think so. My boyfriend turned up at my job and of all places three weeks ago to tell me he had decided to break up with me so he wouldn't hurt me because he wanted to go out with other women. Can you imagine that! I'm a primary school teacher and I did not to be in a frazzled state of mind over a crucial personal dilemna while needed to be emotionally available for my students. Ok, so if this wasn't bad enough, tonight he called but I didn't pick up. I have nothing to say to him at all! So later I check my email and find a message from him saying that he didn't want me to be angry with him, that he knew how much pain I was in, and that if I needed a shoulder to cry on to just give ghim a call and he would be there for me as a friend but that I'd have to be accepting of his new girlfriend. I can't express enough just how fummed I became. Smoke flames were flaring out every one of my body crevices! I couldn't dial his number fast enough, and when he picked up I asked him if he had lost his fucking mind. One word led to another than he called my a Crudy Selfish Bitch for thinking I was to good to be his friend.I am still in disbelief. Has he lost his damn mind or have I?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I think he's not worth crying over or even more so don't spend any of your energy on him. He may have been kind and loving and attentive at one time but when another female comes along he leaves you and he does that by going to your work? That's not a man, that's a ding-a-ling with no brains or a heart. His head is not screwed on correctly and most likely he was thinking out of his other head.
You want a mature man, a man who puts you first and thinks of you with love and respect. Yes, he sounds immature. You sound like you are a mature, caring, and a smart woman to me. You are a teacher - a professional. People look up to you. You should be proud of who you are and be proud at the fact that you have a very wonderful career. Don't let this fool keep you shaking. Instead, say your goodbyes and let go of him. He's not worth the heartache and pain and better that you let go of him now than wait 20 years wondering why he never asked you to marry him or why you stuck around that long (like I did). I'm now married to a wonderful man, but gosh...I wish I didn't stay with the other one that long. It's not worth it.
You will find love again. It may take a while or it may take a year...but in the mean time, use this time wisely to grow and to be that confident woman you are. Travel. Do the things you want to do. I skydived with a friend, how about you? Do something out of your norm...something that you've always wanted to do. Believe in your dreams. The year is almost up. Are you planning to wallow in self pity or are you going to stand up for you? For your students? Are you going to be that role model for your friends...your students...for you? You've got a new year to look forward to. This is your moment to stand up and shine!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 See, that's the thing with (many ,not all of course ) guys : as soon as they do something even remotely decent- they want a gold medal.
It's true that probably other men would have FIRST started seeing other women and THEN ditched you. He has been correct in doing the opposite. I guess he expected you to
jump for joy and show gratitude for his honesty.
Try not to stress too much about that . It's sad that it did not work, but you need to move on. And if for moving on you need to go no contact for a long while before being friends again- or if you don't even consider being friends again- hey, it's your feelings, your business and your choice. You don't have to justify it to anybody.
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