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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My friend was at the mall with her family and her dad started a game where they had to "find chubby people." I said that this was a mean and cruel game. She said that it wasn't and it was just a game- just something to do. But still- isn't this mean and not right? She's 26 years old- she should know better!! I just can't believe how judgmental she is! She seemed upset when I told her how I felt. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 It's just a game. When I was younger we used to play a version of cricket based on spotting different styles of beard (there was less TV in the 70s).
Whilst I don't consider myself fat (just broad shouldered and prosperous looking :-) ) there's no denying that at 300lb I'm bigger than most people in China. This is a society where people can be pretty direct. I've lost count of the times that Chinese kids have asked me "Why are you so fat?" (it isn't anything like as offensive in Chinese as it is in English) and I tend to say words to the effect that I eat too much and I don't run as much as I used to. Or depending on my mood (and their age) I say that it's because I eat too many Chinese children....
It would be cruel if your friend and your family were taunting the fatties but just playing a game amongst themselves is not cruel. As a society we can't allow certain topics to become unmentionable. It is a fact that a lot of people are overweight (I'm one) I'd rather I was 40-50 lbs lighter but it ain't no body's fault but mine.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Find chubby people? In America? How challenging can that be? Is that like pointing out tall people in Holland? Black people in Africa?
Or is this a case of "oh wow, look how skinny that chubby person is compared to all the whales?"
Cruel? Nah, stop pretending being fat is a disability. I think being cruel is a good way to stop the overweight problem. Either they stop eating or they explode from comfort eating. This will finally give skinny people a chance to get some food before a fatso eats it all.
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male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Wow. People still amaze me. I applaud you for sticking to your moral code. People that engage in this type of behavior have serious character flaws. Makes you wonder what kind of friend she really is behind your back.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 You can even do better than telling her to be nice or giving her hell: ask her why she is doing it. Let her unravel that strand and find out for herself that she's (more than likely) being shallow (if she has the brains and the insight). Just a thought
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe has commented on the appearance of other people before- I told her to "be nice." Her reply was, "Yes, mommy." The thing that gets me is that these are complete and total strangers, doing/saying nothing to her at all! Just minding their own business. I don't get the rationale of such thinking...
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (31 May 2010):
 RIght on chica! It isnt nice at all and she should be well aware that she isnt looking at objects, these are PEOPLE with feelings!! Give her some crap but if she gets too upset then just say you would appreciate it if she not do that in your presence. Let her know that you do not accept that behavior bc if you do, she will think its ok and continue.
Take Care!
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