A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 49-yr old male. I meet many ( way too many ) girls in their 20's due to a common fellowship and a few of us have become freinds. I try not to expect that any will actually be attracted to me but the ones I am wondering about always projected a certain a vibe to me.I don't just hit on every cute, fun girl I meet, they usually end up talking to me at some event and very soon give me their E-mail and phone numbers, and even encourage me to use them ( "When you going to call me?" ; "Why don't you send me an E-mail joke or something?" )Over time, and numerous talks, walks, camping events, dinner carry-ins etc. , a few ( one at a time, mind you ) have come over come over to watch football game(s), DVD's orjust hang out for a few hours - just me and her ! ! I do not just try to make out the first few times we are alone ! ! I am not that kind of guy.Again,Over time, I have fallen for a few and when I start to express that, I get completely shut down. (DOUBLE WTF over ?? )So that's my dilemma, Am I ecpecting too much or do I not act quick enough and get thrown into the freind zone?? I know what my freinds keep telling me ( equal opinions from both sides ) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMaybe it wasn't apparent in what I originally wrote, but these relationships progressed just the way one with a girl my own age does.
With the younger ones I keep repeating "just a freind" in my head everytime I see her. It does take a lot more than sexy clothes and batting their eyes to draw me in. I take even more time with them. If they are too forward I shut them out early. It's only when they (at least initially) seem sincere that I give them a real chance.
I do have plenty of money, I could pay for just sex, but it should also be apparent to you that is not the goal of every female relationship I develop. I only feel love when I can sense a true closeness with her.
I don't just lay on a bunch of lines to get sex, like many of my makes freinds keep telling me to. I converse and get to know whoever I am associating with. When they open up and share deep thoughts and experiences with me, I feel close enough to share my deeper feeling with them.
Just as a frame of reference, mny dad was 51 and my mom 30 when I was born, so to me age difference is just a number, really. They were happy until I was 12 years old or so then they got divorced.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): I think the key lies in their age group........20 year olds don't have much money, so young women learn very early that a little flirting will get them a long way. They learn to use their youth and good looks to their advantage, unfortunately, as you have found out, they are users. You may even get lucky and one will have sex with you, but I sincerely doubt you will find love there........their hearts are with men their own age or even slightly older but not in their father's age group, sorry.
As far as them sending you a vibe, I am an attractive female and have had my friendliness misinterpreted many times. Women are social and friendly people, even more so in their youth...that's probably all that's happening.
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