A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi....I currently have a friend who lives quite far away, i met him through my friend (he's a relative). We met a couple of years ago, then last december started talking online and on the phone a lot. We talked for hours at a time, most conversations were anywhere from 2-4 hours and they were pretty much every night on the phone. so obviously we get along, and admitted to liking each other....the problem is--he's somewhat of a drug addict. I cant get him out of my mind and he recently moved away from his family so he's probaly getting into more trouble. He'll call me from time to time, but for dumb reasons like telling me he was dating this girl (they broke up not too soon after)....i really care about him, and know i cant change his habits. the question is: do i stick around as his friend and basically get heartbroken if he continues this path, or just let him go? I cant picture my life without him at all, so it's not easy for me. I've never felt like this about a guy, im just sad it had to be with someone so in trouble. (we're both mid 20's by the way) thank you!
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female
reader, Beckto +, writes (14 June 2007):
 First thing: You need to figure out why you're falling for a drug addict. What is it about your life, how you were raised, etc that now makes you attracted to an addict?
Then: Decide if the relationship is good for you. Not if it makes you feel good, but if it's really making you feel good about yourself. If you're feeling tormented, that may be a sign to cut off ties with the person.
Remember, a friendship is a two-way relationship -- both parties give and both parties take. But if it's feeling like you're doing more of the giving, ask yourself if it's worth it.
Situations like this can make us examine ourselves more deeply. Do some reading on addicts and addictions. Read some books about how family members can cope with addicts. You may find much of the information is applicable to you.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (14 June 2007):
 That's a toughie.
I'm trying to think what I would do if your situation. I would probably chat to the guy first to say look if you want to be with me the drugs have to stop and see what he says. If you really dont want drugs in your life then you may have to walk away from him.
Good luck!
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