A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Married 2 months..went to exhibition..was there for 7 hours and my husband met up with family and they wanted coffee and my brother-in-law wanted to have a drink and so did I and my husband made me feel like shit..so I didn't go for a drink as my husband said you don't have a drink at an excibition..I was embarassed ..I'm 59 ..I don't need someone to say when I can have a drink..this is my first year doing all the things my husband enjoys ..is it wrong to have a drink..I think not..now we are not talking..I like to hit him in the head and tell him I have a life and old enough to make my own decisions....he was very demanding..st this stage of my life I can make my own decisions and not hurt mt partner..I love him but dear god when did he become my parent..this is the same person he met in the first place..now we have been married for 2 months and I feel like I'm under his rules and I hate it.....damn I'm a good woman and love him dearly and just want him to realise if a want a drink that is my decision...help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): I think she is trying to demonstrate the righteous rage she felt at her husband for humiliating her in front of family.
Whatever you do, keep at it whenever you feel disrespected.
He has to learn to respect you and men prefer women they can respect as well.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 When you say "I like to hit him in the head", are you seriously admitting that you assault your partner?
I have a feeling there is more to this situation that you are telling us.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (18 August 2010):
You don't need our help! sounds like you got it figured out. you are of age and don't need him to act like the parent, and you need his permission you are not wrong. and it isn't really who's right and whos wrong it's about respect!
but the thing you did do and he knows now you listen to him was that you didn't have that drink he didn't want you too! so now it just proved to him that you agree that it's not a good thing to do im telling you and he will tell you the same next time don't have that drink!! you know have you asked him why he doesn't want you to drink maybe?? there is something that he is not telling you ask him why! other then that does he seem like a control freak w/ you or abusive??? if he is don't stay in that kind of relationship! like you said you are 60 and i know you know what those kind of relationships end up in not good! good luck to you. be your own person we only live once and like i said tho too! need that respect in all of our lives!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Even if you DID have a problem with alcohol (and I'm not suggesting that you do) he would NOT have the right to tell you you can't have a drink. He needs to give you the dignity to make your own decisions. You action was not an assault on him, and as such he was wrong to confront and demean you.
He needs to admit that there was something else that triggered his response (some fear of something) and he needs to share that fear with you.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Have the drink if you want to! He's supposed to be your PARTNER not your parent. He's supposed to support you not lead you.
I hope that helps.
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