A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The fact that i'm asking this straight after getting back from a night out just shows how concerned i am about the person i'm becoming. Tonight i went out and was stupid and the type of girl i'm normally not.. I went to this bar/club and i felt myself wanting as many guys as possible! It's like i was on a mission which is strange. I'm only 18 and I was flirting with guys that are in their late twenties, not caring how old they were because i liked flirting with them and having their attention. I gave my number to a few guys i wasn't even attracted to! Just because i like texting guys, silly i know. And I was all over this other guy and he was all over me, but i'm pretty sure again that he was at least ten years older! Yet I didn't care though because i enjoyed us being close and having a laugh, even though he kept alternating between me and my best friend. And still, i didn't seem to care which just seems desperate.I get a lot of male attention anyways, but I noticed that even with every guy that was trying it with my best friend, i tried to get their attention and i did. But once i got it, i wasn't interested!? I gave my number out and flirted with any guy that showed interest which makes me feel utter shame in myself!!I know age is just a number and people flirt and are intimate at bars, but the fact that i knew how much older these people were and yet i carried on not caring about it and handing my number out so freely. Worries me that it's getting worse and on the person that i'm becoming! I just felt like i don't respect myself, or really have much dignity. Please can anyone tell me why i may be acting this way, cause i've been like this for a while now but it's getting worse, it's like i can't control it!! I don't know how i became like this or why, i just don't want to feel like this every time i get back from a night out.... I don't want to become this person!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): I am in noway judging you, believe me I definitely was your age at one time! And hormones can go insane. The truth of the matter is, if alcohol makes you act like that...stop drinking. You truly don't want to wake up one day having regrets.. And i have been there. If it is attention you crave, maybe get into dating, and if you are good looking enough, model some. This is what I did for a few years to burn the attention grabbing I wanted. Now I am in my later 20s and I am so over it lol. Just try to respect yourself. What if you hit on or flirt with the wrong guy? What if they have a gf who may only be in the bathroom to come out and see a young girl hitting on their man? That would not be a good scene! Believe me, I would sucker punch a girl for touching or even flirting with my man, and you do not want to get yourself into that type of situation! You are young enough to fix your ways and If it's alcohol that is the only factor, cut it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): It's called alcohol OP, you're just the type of drunk that turns into a raging attention seeker when you're out.
The girls I know that are like that are the ones that don't do it when they're sober, they're actually very controlled when sober and almost repressed they're so closed off. Then when they drink all of that repression comes out and they go wild.
Of course you can't control it, that's the part of you that just needs male attention and lots of it. It will bite you on the ass though OP, you really are playing with fire, if you keep pushing the boundaries like this you're going to go too far and you'll wake up the next day with a lot more to worry about than simply feeling like a fool.
Bad things happen to girls that act that way OP. There are a lot of guys that will use girls that act that way, not only that but boyfriends will not be happy having a girlfriend that does that kind of thing. The girls I know that are like that can't keep a relationship for long because guys can't trust them because they can't trust themselves. So they become trapped in a cycle then. They can't hold down a relationship which means they need male attention more to make themselves feel better, the only male attention they get is sex related by guys who aren't interested in anything serious because they see a girl running around like that and they think "easy lay".
Here's the clincher though, of the girls I've known to act that way in the long term, it progresses into far worse. Eventually the attention isn't enough anymore and they start going to parties with these guys, end up going back to their place etc. and getting themselves willingly into sexual situations they really didn't want to, then waking up devastated and feeling horrible. Some have even got into those situations, came to their sense and decided they wanted to stop only to find the guy had no intention of stopping at all and just wasn't going to take no for an answer until he was finished with them.
Take care OP and if alcohol has this kind of effect on you then you may want to cut back. If it's not alcohol then you may want to satisfy your urges by dating guys instead of what you're doing. Be very careful with this behaviour, it's the girls that lose control that end up in very bad situations, ones that can leave long term consequences.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): Well yeah it is showing guys you don't have much respect for yourself so their thoughts would be to take advantage,Age is just a number but that's when it comes to love not just flirting around with every guy at a clubTaking the attention from guys of your best friend is very wrong and your friend could get upset by thatThere must be something that's triggered you to be like this,You can't be blamed for your actions if you don't want them to be there or you don't know what's going on with you however you need to try and stopGiving a load of guys you don't know your number could put you at alot of risk, all it takes is for one creep to do something, so avoid contact with the ones you don't like so muchBut you need to think what may of made you to be like this if it's recent,Break up with someone? Not got alot of attention from the person you want most of it from? It could be something like thatBut I hope things ger resolved and I hope I could help xx
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