A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:what if you have not much in common with a popular work colleague?you are queiter but you have tried,are nice, say hi, ask how they are etc, I am not rudr, they are cliquey. they dont seem to want to talk to you, not bullying you.. and you can talk work issues, work talk aside they jusy dont talk much to you, they seem to like most others and smile and even hug some of them, yes yes Im aware its work! and we cant be liked by all no Im not expecting a hug..Im just wondering if I should be worried as they seem to really like and talk to nearly everyone else, does this look bad that they arent " buddy buddy" with me to management? or work seniors?I do my work, am ok, not a superstar but not bad, am average.do I keep being polite? do I need to worry?
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2014): Not sure if this helps to see this from another perspective. I am very much like your colleague. I recognise that I act this way, but find it difficult for me to change. As a child I grew up in a culture where a child is seen and not heard and that you have to respect your elders, which meant parents and teachers, people in a higher position to you. This meant acting a certain way around them different to your siblings or peers. I am always the class clown, but once a senior enters the room my whole persona would change, because of the level of respect I have. My problem now is I still do this in my adult working life. 5 years ago i remember my manager suggesting that we join a sports club together, and without thinking i replied i don't think it would be appropriate doing that with my manager, she was so offended and i thought i was being respectful. My current manage is younger than me, and i still act the same way. I'm not suggesting your colleague will be thinking the same way, but to just recognise that it may not be personal, from another persons perspective.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 September 2014):
 No, on a professional level, I don't think you need to worry at all.
Unless it's some particular work environment where being a solid , close-knit team is very umportant, I don't think that management / work seniors even actually care or notice what are the personal relationships among colleagues. As long as you do your work properly and efficiently ( you do ) and you do not cause trouble or arguments, or become an object of mobbing ( you don't ).
It's very normal for any work environment that some more gregarious people aggregates more easily and other people have less ease- or less desire ! - to do the same.
On a personal level, it depends. Does it bother you ? Do YOU feel that this is not right , that things should be different ? Does it make your work more difficult or less enjoyable ?... I guess it's up to you, subjectively. If you think this is a problem, then it is. If you don't- if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Should you keep being polite ?...
Sure, why not ? they aren't being rude or impolite to you ,at least you don't mention it.
...............................
|
