A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a weird question and probably not the type of question you guys usually get but hopefully somebody can maybe give me their opinion on what I can do. I hope this doesn't sound mean but here it goes. I'm 20 years old and live with my father and brother. I love them both to death but they can be annoying at times. My father is older and retired and does not work so he is literally at home all day everyday, which gives me very little privacy when I'm home and I never have time to myself. My brother and I don't really have a good relationship and he can be very mean to me so that doesn't really help either.I can't really have friends over or have phone conversations without being interrupted and just having my privacy invaded all of the time by both my father and brother. I like having time to myself and I just want to relax at home but it's really hard to do that here. I know the easiest and obvious reason would be to just move out, but I just can't afford to do that even though I do have a job. I live in an area where the rent is very expensive and it's just not an option for me right now to get my own place. I'm grateful I even have a place to stay but I have to say I'm really not happy here. I benefit much better from being by myself and doing my own thing but it seems as though I have no options right now and it's just frustrating. I've thought about maybe getting my father into some activities or hobbies and he's just not really into it. I don't know, maybe someone can give me some options. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2014): Can you not afford to even rent a room somewhere? I've known friends to have lovely houses, they used to pay about £75 a week and that was for a large bedroom and they all shared the living room, kitchen and there was a couple of bathrooms. All the people in the house were similar age, but working, people and they generally all kept to their own rooms and tidied up after themselves if they'd been using kitchen. Their rent included all the electric, water, tax and internet bills. It's a good stepping stone away from home without the massive costs of running a place alone.
Could you not find a friend who would share an apartment (and be reliable with paying their own way too!)? If things are really so bad at home you don't want to be there you have those options to consider. Otherwise talk to your father and brother and set up some boundaries x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2014): I feel you! I live with my older sister. When you're living with family, I'm afraid you just have to put up with certain rules and lack of privacy or move out. Unfortunately, I can't afford (nor can my sister) to move at this time. Until that time comes, you just have to respect that you're sharing a space with your family and they have a right to be in the same space with you on THEIR terms. This is especially true if they were there FIRST and agreed to let you live with them in THEIR house. I can see it being a different story if it was YOUR house and YOU were letting THEM live with you. But that doesn't seem to be the case here. I'm sorry honey. Develop a good money savings plan NOW and set a move out date even if it's a year or two away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2014): Just make your room your haven.
The last time I lived at home all three of my sisters and my mother lived there at the same time, so I know how it is to have no privacy. The opposite was the problem for me though in the sense that I was trying to escape being forced to listen to constant conversations they were having, girls and your phones. I felt like grabbing those phones smashing them off the wall more than once. What's worse is they decided they could have those calls anywhere in the house and most of the time in the sitting room while I was trying to watch TV or something.
I just made my room my haven, moved my PC up there and watched any TV shows and movies I liked on that.
We don't have locks on our doors in my mam's house but it was fine they mostly left me alone and you learn to block out the screaming matches that punctuate the air every few hours.
Just be glad you don't live in a house full of women, OP.
You can have privacy, OP, you just can't have it everywhere in the house. Make your room a mini-apartment with everything in it and that'll get you by.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (7 March 2014):
 Have you thought about moving in with some of your friends? Split the bills/rent between 2 or 3 of you, might make it more manageable.
If no friends are able to move in with you, then speak to your father, tell him you feel like you have no privacy, maybe he can speak to your brother too.
Good luck :)
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