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Because of all these past experiences with those othr lads shes terrifyed of getting hurt and gets scared about that sorta stuff and i don't want her to think i'm joking and trying to make a fool out of her.

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Question - (27 April 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 April 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok ive never wrote up to these sites before so i hope i'm writing this right and that you can help me.

One of my best friends is a girl and we have been really close all of our lives. She has found it ahrd to fit in at school and has been bullied a fair bit. I've always stood by her and we now hang round together alot more and have become really close. other lads have started being friendly with her n then asked her out and shes said yes because she thought they really liked her and she was really happy and then they just made a fool out her,making stuff up,laughing at her etc. the thing is over the past few years i've started having felings for her and we have kissed afew times in the past. but because of all these past experiences with those othr lads shes terrifyed of getting hurt and gets scared about that sorta stuff and i don't want her to think i'm joking and trying to make a fool out of her. I've thought for the last year whether to tell her or not because of this and incase it was just a crush ebcause i don't wanna hurt her but she needs to know because i think there is something between us and i really love her. I need to tell ehr in a way that shewon't get upset thinking i'm trying it on like the others but i want to make her as comfortable with it as possible. I don't mind if she doesn't feel the same way because if she doesn't then nothing has to change. She's the best friend i've ever had and i never wanna loose her i love her so much its untrue and i know she does have feelings for me as i said we have kissed before and we are so close. Btw shes really shy too.please help

View related questions: best friend, bullied, crush, shy

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A female reader, rammsteinfan United States +, writes (28 April 2007):

rammsteinfan agony auntJust keep on being there for her...that is so good what you are doing for her!! Tell her that the other guys who do that to her, do that because they don't feel good about themselves!! Just by continuely being there for her will show her how much you care!

She probably feels the same way about you, but is scared to say anything. If you love her as you stated, buy her gifts, take her to the movies, ect. But....one thing...Treat her like a lady!

Good Luck!!!!

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A female reader, biatch15 United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2007):

biatch15 agony aunti have found myself in the same situation but i think you should listen to your heart that will tell you the right thing you should do he might just need a little bit of time and space to think

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A female reader, Girl Pants Singapore +, writes (28 April 2007):

Girl Pants agony auntHi there

I too had the same problem as her. I was really terrified of relationships and being hurt again. That terror was over when my best friend of 14 years helped me out. He gave me emotional support and made me laugh all the time. Basically make me happy and being myself again. And last year, he confessed his feelings to me. I accept him of course as i too have feelings for him.

Your case is similar. Your role is similar to my best friend's(now boyfriend) role.

Here's what you can do to help.

-Try not to let her spend her time alone. She might be bullied, and if she does, stand up for her. And NOT pick up a fight. Pay no attention to gossips about you two. She is more important to you than gossips.

-Make her laugh. Just make her smile. Simple.

-Tell her to call you whenever you need someone to talk to. Make sure you'll be there when she needs you. Don't hesitate to hug her if she's crying.

It's all about showing you care, and NOT flirting. So more cuddles and less kisses. She needs to know that there IS someone who care about her.

You can tell her about your feelings ,but not so soon. Tell her sincerely. It's best if you know how to play the guitar. Cos i know a song which my boyfriend sings and it REALLY touches my heart. Its "The Acoustic Song" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Try listen to it. It's perfect for your case.

Well, that's all then. Feel free to send me mails for updates and more questions.

Cheers and Good Luck!

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