A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why won't the girl i like(or any girls for that matter) give me a chance? i know her, and we are somewhat friends, but she wont give me the honour of one date. Am i wrong for thinking that i should be allowed one date before girls jump to the conclusion that they dont like me? or they dont have feelings for me? OR before they decide that i am a bad boyfriend? Is that the wrong idea? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Yes it's wrong because why should a girl be forced to give you 1 date before she can say that she isn't into you? Would you figure that you should give a girl whom you didn't like a date before you made your mind up about her? Say there's a fat girl in your class who wants to date you, you wouldn't give her a chance. So why should a girl have to date you? If she liked you at all in that way, she would give you a date. Stop expecting so much, just b/c you like someone doesn't mean they will or should like you back.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 Attraction is a powerful component to any potential boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. My guess is the girls you have made friends with, are your friend because they weren't attracted to you in the first place and trying to get them to see you as date-material is probably not going to happen. Chemistry is either there, or it's not and no amount of movies, or dinner dates, or long drives in the country is going to create it. If you have to convince someone to give you a chance, your starting off on the wrong foot to begin with, then two months into what you think is a good relationship, you'll get that, "I need my space" dialog from her, or "it's not you, it's me...." and then she's out the door. What you need to determine is the type of guys that attract the girls. Maybe you're too nice, or too "brotherly" acting and that crosses you off the list immediately. Most girls tend to like a challenge. They like a guy who is a little mysterious, a little aloof, and a littel bad sometimes. If think being "the knight" is going to win their attention, think again. That only works later on in the relationship, after you've won her over. Women are initially attracted to men they can't have right away. You've heard the phrase, that girls like a bad boy. It's true. No matter what the age is of a woman, we all want someone who is a little bad, a little challenging, but not completely unattainable. So think about ways you can change your approach and the way they see you from the beginning and you'll probably have better luck. xoxox
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): Well, many guys have that same problem. So do I, Im 15. I have asked many girls that, and most of them tell me, that from the first time they talk to a guy, they already decide, whether he could be dating material, or is strictly a friend. You may be acting too "buddy buddy" with girls, so they begin to see you as strictly a friend. Try being more flirtacious, and putting yourself out there when you first meet girls, it worked for me. I hope I was of some help.
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