A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 3 years just came out about being bisexual and a crossdresser. He is a very manly, rough type, not feminine in any way. He has been faithful but is asking for a man to join us in the bedroom. I'm not against it, in a way it has been a secret turn on that I havent admitted to him to have another man with us. I'm just afraid it will ruin our relationship when the passion is over. Can you look at your man the same way after that? Will he want a man more than me? It's all very confusing. He was so happy when I didnt leave him when he confessed but I just dont know how to emotionaly deal with it all. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (22 June 2010):
 Hi. I think you are amazing to be taking his news so well. As i understand it. Once theres been a confession and its been received without too much drama. Being with a man is the next step. Including you being there... rather than excluding you. Because it makes the suggestion to you, more acceptable. You are his water wings. Hes using you to support himself. He may enjoy sex with men the same as he enjoys sex with you. He might even enjoy it more. Its a risk. Who can tell what the outcome will be. But i do think it will change him. And change how you regard him. Its bound to. If he enjoys having sex with the guy you both meet. He wont want to stop there. Youve already given him the green light to have sex with one guy. So you will find it very difficult to stop him doing it again with others. My concern would be that in future, as he finds his confidence and dresses as a woman and seeks sex. You may find yourself being side lined. He wont always want you with him when he meets men. He may even develop a relationship with another man. I think you need to think carefully about the impact things could have on you and the relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): Wow thats a big confession. I think since you are not against it you should give another man in the bedroom a try but definitely communicate about it before you do it. You should maybe set some boundaries about what you would like to go on versus what you wouldnt like. It may take awhile to process that information but you obviously really love him and its not a deal breaker for you. I understand why you would question if he would be more into men but the only one who can answer that is him, so keep communicating with him about it. Tell him your fears.
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