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... Send *sabella1974 a private message | | | *sabella1974's profile:From as long i can remember i have always been the first point of contact when people had a problem they want to talk about and needed advice, i am non judgemental, i believe if someone has a problem whatever it may be, they are looking for advice, whether they have got themselves into a difficult situation or need advise on marriage, relationship etc. I have been through my fair share of troubles in life so i feel i can give some insite on problems people have.
i totally believe in the saying "live and let live", accept people for their differences and backgrounds. |
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Please help me gain my confidence back?
Q. For five months I had been seeing a girl only to find out from a mutual friend that she had a boyfriend the entire time, which she hid from me. Because of this my confidence with girls has been hurt greatly. I know I need to meet some one new,...
A. 17 May 2008: Hi there,
then try to be strong and realise that you have done nothing wrong. She is the one that is wrong and dont give her another moments consideration.
You sound like a lovely person so will find someone in time who is worth your time ... (read in full...)
She cheated, but I'm still in love with her. Will she do it again?
Q. ON the 11th, was our 1 year anniversity, and she cheatted on me then and also on the 12th, that I know of, as that is all she told me. I'm still in love with her, and didn't let her know how much it hurt me, I just told her, that it's ok, and not ...
A. 16 May 2008: Hi there,
but she is hurting you...please try to see this.
You sound like a very caring person and she does not deserve you. Try to be strong, she is not thinking of your feelings when she is cheating on you.
I know it is very hard whe... (read in full...)
My friend likes a 30 year old... am I blind or is this not wrong?
Q. I'm 17 and my friend is 16. We met this guy through an online game, he's 30 years old. I was the one that introduced him to her, little did I no that it would ever result in some sort of gross relationship. First of all, my friend is the most ...
A. 16 May 2008: Hi there,
For me, meeting people like this online is something i would be very careful about. You dont really know much about this guy, he could be married in a relationship etc. How do you know for sure he is really 30? I am just asking t... (read in full...)
Please help me gain my confidence back?
Q. For five months I had been seeing a girl only to find out from a mutual friend that she had a boyfriend the entire time, which she hid from me. Because of this my confidence with girls has been hurt greatly. I know I need to meet some one new,...
A. 16 May 2008: Hi Cana,
Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. First of all just want to ask, this mutual friend of yours, are you sure that this friend is a reliable source when they say, she has been seeing someone else, the only reason i ask this is somet... (read in full...)
I gave my virginity to him. How should I take revenge on him?
Q. I'm single and fell in love with a married guy. He is 10 years older than me. His wife was pregnant and got a baby daughter on my b'day. I gave my virginity to him, but after he got his wife back in his bed. He started acting weird, like ignoring ...
A. 16 May 2008: Hello there,
revenge not the answer here, think of his wife and the little baby, they are the innocent parties in all this and its better you just walk away and let them sort out any problems that will arise in their marriage. i know you love... (read in full...)
My wife discusses our personal problems with friends. I can't face them now.
Q. Can you help? I've been married for three years and everything as been going pretty well, but recently i've found out my wife as been discussing our personal problems with her friends, some of which are married to friends of mine. Now i can barely f...
A. 14 May 2008: Hi,
no not all women tell their friends everything, my husband is also my best friend so i respect what intimate details we have in our marriage and it would go no further.
Anyhow when i am with my friends, we would have far more interesting... (read in full...)
I fell for him, he's married - she's pregnant, now I'm heart broken
Q. Hi.....iam 21 years and iam in a heartbreaking dilema...i started seing this guy ( @ the time 32) when i was 19.... The thing is that it all started so sudden @ work...you know the passing by the office..the eye contact...then one day he took me ...
A. 14 May 2008: Hi there,
He was and still is married and now his wife is pregnant, walk away from this one and put it down to a life experience and never to go near men like this again, especially ones you know have wifes/partners it all ends in tears. I know i... (read in full...)
My wife has a fetish for firemen and is causing 'accidents' because of it. What can I do?
Q. I'm 25, and my wife is 24, we've been married for 2 years now. In the past few months and weeks she's recently been causing "accidents" - and I know why. I found a note in the kitchen when tidying up one day saying "must cause accident so hunk...
A. 14 May 2008: Hi there,
You are her husband and she should not be behaving like this, tell her if she wants a real fireman, go and find one and just walk out! Sorry but this girl seriously needs a wakeup call and some help.
Is is important and it is your b... (read in full...)
Can you tell me how I can truly know if he loves me or just really just wants to be friends?
Q. He says he just wants to be friends but he calls me every day. We are together every weekend. When I feel like we are getting close I can feel him back off. I love him. He wants me with him but he wont talk to me and tell me his true feelings...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi there,
It could be the fact that he just sees you as a friend
or i think when he says he justs wants to be friends to you presently, maybe he just needs time and does not want to rush into anything with you at the moment, but values your ... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi there, when you meet the person who loves and understands you i dont think race should be a factor.
I just happen to know a girl i went to school with years again, who met a black guy and they are so happy together,thery have three beautifu... (read in full...)
Is masturbation murder?
Q. well as u all know ''sperm'' is pretty mutch something alive ,i mean it turns into a human if u have sexual intercourse with a woman ,well if people masturbate is it a sin ,as my freind said it ''mastubation is murder'' then he followed on ...
A. 13 May 2008: Totally agree with you WizardOfWaz....
its made me laugh......... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I'm in love with a 35-year-old
Q. I have a major problem...I am a 17 year old senior in high school who has fallen in love with a 35 year old player with 5 kids and one on the way...my problem is that i want to be with this man so much even though i know how he is....the problem is ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hello,
First of all he will never change, you will never change hime and will never make him a better person. Hes 35 and should no better......
Move on from this relationship, he will do the same to you, dont expect him to change. Sweety ... (read in full...)
I have trouble trusting him. How can I get these thoughts out of my head?
Q. Ok. I need help i have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. Right now i am having major trust issues... i have no reason not to trust him but for some weird reason i think something up. Not much has changed about him but his presence feels ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hello there,
Try to talk to him about how you are feeling? dont feel silly, just sit down and talk to him about your concerns and that you dont know why you are feeling this way. He will listen to your concerns and should put you at rest. T... (read in full...)
She cheated, but I'm still in love with her. Will she do it again?
Q. ON the 11th, was our 1 year anniversity, and she cheatted on me then and also on the 12th, that I know of, as that is all she told me. I'm still in love with her, and didn't let her know how much it hurt me, I just told her, that it's ok, and not ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi there,
What she done was a very hurtful thing, she cheated on you so the trust that you once had is gone.
If you tell her its ok and do not show her how hurt you were, then there is a possibility she will do it again, i think she may do... (read in full...)
Is masturbation murder?
Q. well as u all know ''sperm'' is pretty mutch something alive ,i mean it turns into a human if u have sexual intercourse with a woman ,well if people masturbate is it a sin ,as my freind said it ''mastubation is murder'' then he followed on ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hello there,
No, mastubation is not murder, its the most natural thing in the world.
Dont listen to your friend, i dont know where he got his ideas from. Hitler...sorry it put a smile on my face....darling you are not...
Take care
... (read in full...)
Is sex safe during menstruation?
Q. Hi I would like to know if it's dangerous to have sex when you are on your menstrual period, regarding an unwanted pregnancy or stds. When is a woman safe to have sex an not get pregnant? cause condoms are not that safe. ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi there,
To have sex and not get pregnant - its all down to your cycle and how lucky you are really sweety. I know there is a time in every womans cycle where she is the least fertile. Every woman is different, there is always some chance t... (read in full...)
Could a long-distance relationship really work?
Q. can a long distance relationship work if youre in different countries and only see the person once a year? and also if we broke up 4 times within the year is that a bad sign? ...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi there,
I have seen long distance relationships work before, but it was in cases where they would have seen each other more than once a year.
sorry to say, but for a relationship to work you need to see each other more often, and you s... (read in full...)
When a girl says she's falling for you, does she mean 'falling in love'?
Q. Hey everybody. I don't really know how to interpret this, but what exactly does a girl mean when she says she's falling for you? Does it mean falling in love or basically crushing? I would think it means falling in love am i right?...
A. 13 May 2008: Hi there,
yes she means she is falling in love with you, her feelings are getting much stronger and she cares for you alot.
Enjoy
... (read in full...)
Has any one ever had a fling, and regretted it as much as I do? And what did you do about it?
Q. hi all, please help me, i am so afraid that my husband will find out about a fling i had with a man a few months back. I love my husband with all my heart and am so upset, because i made a stupid, stupid mistake and i just cant forgive myself f...
A. 12 May 2008: Hi there, everyone makes mistakes.
Twist of faith, i believe the poster realises that she is responsible for her actions, i think she has proved that in her question, so stop being so judgemental and sacastic!!
OK poster all i can say to you i... (read in full...)
How long is too long on a break?
Q. My gf and I split up just over a month ago after 18 months to have some time apart etc. She said she did want to get back with me eventually. Its been a month and all she says is that she doesnt want a bf at the moment however I still see her and ...
A. 12 May 2008: Hi there, yes you are being messed around and i am not surprise that you are feeling horrible. Its sounds like your girlfriend wants time to sample the single life again. I know she says she wants to be with you, but i feel, she is just keeping ... (read in full...)
He told me the all the other girls he's had sex with, even with out a condom, never got pregnant
Q. Ok...so i'm 15 and my boyfriend is 14, we've known each other and been with each other for a long time...and my boyfriend isn't a virgin. He says he lost it when he was young and has had sex with other girls ever sence...but he wants to have sex ...
A. 12 May 2008: Hi there, first of all darling, do not every feel presurised into doing something you dont want to, even if you have a little doubt, you are very young, so have loads of time for sex in a few years and to do it with someone who loves and respects ... (read in full...)
How can I help my girlfriend? I'm the only one to whom she has confided she has been raped.
Q. Hi, my girlfriend recently confided in me that she had been raped, or molested or something of the sort not too long ago, possibly less then a few months ago, she refuses to divulge any details to me, she won't tell me who, when, where, what ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi there,I know the main reason she wont go into detail is that she finds it very hard to talk about this, its something she obviously is trying to forget and tries to block this out, she may need counselling to help her, if that what she wishes to ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my friends who are constantly bringing me down?
Q. I love my boyfreind, i'm leaving school at the end of the year (I have completed grade 12 and then doing to uni) and getting engaged. It feels so right to me but, all my mates just dont understand what i feel, and always bring me down like sayi...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi there, i think what you friends mean is that, you have just finished school and they are just concerned that you are commiting to something so young and it is getting you moody as you feel like they dont understand how you feel.
I am glad you... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because our sex life is virtually non existent?
Q. Hi i'm thinking of leaving my wife, i like her in many ways but our sex life is virtually non exsistance. I've met a wonderful woman aged 18 who is beautiful and works as a model. The sex is absolutely fantastic. Do think there is a chance for us, ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi, its seems like you have already walked away from your marriage as your only concern is the age difference between you and your lover, but you are already having sex with her, so you must feel that it is ok?? Is it that you are worried that ... (read in full...)
Come on aunts and uncles stop dodging your resposibilities....
Q. I often hear the phrase 'it's not for me to judge'. If no one offers a judgement then how is right and wrong determined in society? Someone batters an old woman, 'it's not for me to judge'....Someone molests a child, 'it's not for me to judge'. Isn...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi there, depending on the situation, we are only here to give advice to people who have difficulty with certain aspects of their lives, giving non judgemental responses! its possible you are mixing these things up???? you think??
I myself d... (read in full...)
I think about having sex with this other girl, but I'm already with someone.
Q. Hello everyone, I have a question i know you all may hear this a lot, but i need to have it answered in detail Right firstly, i'm a bi-female and i have been dating this girl got 3 years, but i do still like guys a little, but i am mostly for ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi there, i will do my best to answer this for you.
Ok you are with this girl for 3 years, it seems to me that this relationship has run its course and you are looking for a way out, i know you probably care for your current girlfriend but, bef... (read in full...)
I'm meeting my ex for first time since we broke up 3 months ago. Any opinions or advice would be welcomed.
Q. So im meeting my ex of 3 years at the weekend for a bite to eat. I havent seen her for nearly 3 months, and only communicated a couple of times through text. It was kind of a mutual agreement to meet up for as she puts it "a casual catch up". ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi there, when she says "a casual catch up" it could be just her way of keeping it cool and not to pressurised, she may be nervous.
I dont think it will do an harm to meet up with her, just to see what she has to say and see how you both feel, it... (read in full...)
Why am I cheating on a girl who is so perfect for me?
Q. I've been dating a girl for 2 years. Everything was perfect, until I met a girl about 8 months ago who I slept with, roughly twice a month, for 6 months. I have only physical feelings for this girl and do not love her what so ever. I have be...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi there, everything is clearly not perfect if you are both cheating on each other. There is a sense that you have both reach the end of this relationship and neither of you want to let go. Your girlfriends must have sensed something, that you ... (read in full...)
How can I help my girlfriend? I'm the only one to whom she has confided she has been raped.
Q. Hi, my girlfriend recently confided in me that she had been raped, or molested or something of the sort not too long ago, possibly less then a few months ago, she refuses to divulge any details to me, she won't tell me who, when, where, what ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hi there, she obviously trust you with alot and just wants you to listen, believe me, specking from experience i know.
Its a type of release for her, she justs wants you to be supportive of her and be there for her. You are not helping by press... (read in full...)
I've had affairs and feel stuck in my current marriage because of my child. I want to be in a marriage where I feel loved!!
Q. I am in a marriage that I am not happy in. I am still here because he is not the biological father of my son. They love eachother very much. How can I take that away from my child. I have had 2 affairs in the past and I am just sick of not being ...
A. 9 May 2008: Hiya, is there any major reasons why you are not happy in your marriage? is there something you can work out with your husband, are you arguing alot?
If will be painful for your child if she has become very close to your husband and then you deci... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to break-up but wants to experience "Single Life"?
Q. My partner and I are both deeply in love with one another. We have known each other now for 5 years, and are very serious with one another. She has told me that she would like to marry me, and spend her life with me. I would like the same. However, ...
A. 8 May 2008: I totally agree with what Danielpew has said..you are totally setting youself up for a broken heart. You are putting alot of trust in a girl that do not have your best interests at heart, love is blind and i do believe you love her so much and ... (read in full...)
She broke my heart , took it back and now another guy?
Q. Ok heres the deal I have been dating a young lady for 1 year now. We have always been friends.last year we grew closer and became best friends and then of course decided to pursue a relationship. The love between us has been so amazing! We broke up ...
A. 8 May 2008: Hi there, forget about her, she is happy about the fact that you love her and takes delight in playing with you and know that if any of her relationships dont work out in the future, she can contact you and you will come running and will keep doing ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to break-up but wants to experience "Single Life"?
Q. My partner and I are both deeply in love with one another. We have known each other now for 5 years, and are very serious with one another. She has told me that she would like to marry me, and spend her life with me. I would like the same. However, ...
A. 8 May 2008: Sorry sweety but, this will hurt you a great deal if you give her the go ahead, i really cant understand someone who says, i love you but i want to be free when i go out, to see if i can go off with other people, its as if by telling you she wants ... (read in full...)
I'm newly married, but still have feelings for my boss.
Q. I got married to a guy i met last November, but before then i was having an affair with my boss. The problem now is that i enjoy my bosses love making more than my husband even though we have done nothing since i got married. I get jealous when i s...
A. 8 May 2008: hi, you best option i believe is for you to find another job, cut contact, if you feel you cant control your feelings for your boss. If you move your job then, you would not see him every day.
I know its hard sometimes to know what the best thi... (read in full...)
Only married a year, and communication has broken down, should I get a divorce?
Q. I am a female in her early thirties, and I want to tell my husband that I want a divorce because at this point in our marriage I am very unhappy. He is a sweet person, but he is not willing to compromise about anything. We are communicating less and ...
A. 5 May 2008: Hi there, the first year of marriage is definitely the hardest. You are both adjusting to a new life together.
Can i stress that Communiation is key here, you both need to sit down and talk about whats bothering each other,I know it can be h... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and I need help with feeling depressed
Q. Heya Im 12 years old... I keep falling in and out of depression... I dont know why and i dont know what to do, ive even started self-harming... Does anyone know what to do to stop me feeling so down?...
A. 3 May 2008: Hi sweety, its ok, there is no reason to be scared sweety ,i understand it must be hard for you but i am sure once you explain to someone you trust, you mum or dad, teacher they will be able to help you. Just say to them that can you have a chat ... (read in full...)
Was my husband only flirting with her?
Q. My husband went up north got drunk and danced with all the ladies two weeks ago. This past weekend we were in the same bar and the 22 year old among those ladies was very unfriendly to me he had his arm around her and said something in to her ear ...
A. 2 May 2008: You husband is disrespectful to you if he has he arm around this woman and whispering things in her ear while you are sitting there, how would he like it if you had your arms around a guy and whispering in his ear while he was sitting there, have ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like a woman because I have a small chest!
Q. I am 28 years old and am 4'10" and weigh about 95 lbs and my chest is rather small....is that a big deal for men? My husband says he doesn't care and that I'm perfect, but is he telling the truth? He's always told me that he is a "butt" man and I ...
A. 2 May 2008: its true, i have big boobs and at times, its impossible to fine clothes that fit you on top, i am slim everywhere else, so i see something i like, it fits great everywhere then it comes to my boobs and then i have to put it back as it does not fit ... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and I need help with feeling depressed
Q. Heya Im 12 years old... I keep falling in and out of depression... I dont know why and i dont know what to do, ive even started self-harming... Does anyone know what to do to stop me feeling so down?...
A. 2 May 2008: Hi sweetheart, it sounds like you have depression sweety, but dont despair there are things you can do, does anyone else know how you are feeling, it there anyone you can talk to about whats maybe bothering you and getting you down, like one of your ... (read in full...)
I have sex five times a week but he has a girlfriend
Q. Hi I have had sex 5 times in a single week with a man who already has a girlfriend. The sex was suprisingly very good and he wants to see me again(obvisouly). I just wanted to have fun and all but now I am not sure whether it's okay to contin...
A. 30 April 2008: hi there, dump this guy, please think of the other girl, one of my very close friends got very badly hurt, she was dating this guy for 4 years and she found out 2 years of her relationship, he was seeing this other girl, this other girl called and ... (read in full...)
What should I do?? Desperate for advice.
Q. I am 16 and a sophomore in High School. I am absolutley madly in love with my World Studies teacher. He's married and has two kids. I think he is about 38. At the beginning of the year I didn't really have feelings for him. Then, I started to ...
A. 18 April 2008: Hi, there is nothing to do there sweety, first of all he is your teacher and would get into serious trouble if anything did happen. Secondly, he is married with children so he is not available. It is normal to have crushed on your teacher, thats all ... (read in full...)
Her parents beat her to stop her seeing me. How do I get her back?
Q. hey all, first of all m very impressed abt dis awsome site , in which we can share our feelings to others, that a hope of mine that u may help me , come 2 the point i had a gf and al things going well wid both of us , one day she said me tht "her...
A. 17 April 2008: I agree with the anon answer, why dont you try and talk with her parents and show them how sincere you are and how much you love her if she wont take any action from her parents. Good luck... (read in full...)
I just had a baby but could I be pregnant AGAIN?!
Q. I just had a baby a month and a half ago and I had sex for the first time 6 days ago and continued all weekend but we used a condom. I know this is alot of detail but at one time we used the same condom for 2 to 4 hours and for the past 3 days I ...
A. 17 April 2008: HI ALL, just received a private message from proud mummy, she says the age is a mistake and she is actually 20 year of age, but do not know how to change this on her original message. As i am new to the site, i dont know myself. I have told her to ... (read in full...)
Her parents beat her to stop her seeing me. How do I get her back?
Q. hey all, first of all m very impressed abt dis awsome site , in which we can share our feelings to others, that a hope of mine that u may help me , come 2 the point i had a gf and al things going well wid both of us , one day she said me tht "her...
A. 17 April 2008: Sweety there is not alot you can do unfortunatly, but she should not be forced into a marriage. Her parents must have a very strong influence over her. Is there any chance she can get away? If not, then i am afraid there are not many options open ... (read in full...)
I just had a baby but could I be pregnant AGAIN?!
Q. I just had a baby a month and a half ago and I had sex for the first time 6 days ago and continued all weekend but we used a condom. I know this is alot of detail but at one time we used the same condom for 2 to 4 hours and for the past 3 days I ...
A. 17 April 2008: I do wonder is this a practical joke, although i do know a girl who was 12 when she got pregnant, but a second time....sweety...please say this is not true!! You can ge the morning after pill and this will stop you having another baby. You can ... (read in full...)
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