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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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My gf look at my interent history and seems jealous if I look at other women! What should I do?
Q. Im in Canada my girlfriend is from England. she lives with me. She is a very sweet girl and cares a lot. However she looks through my texts, montiors my internet history, watches my eyes to see who i look at. Seems to be jealous if i say hi to ...
A. 15 January 2007: She's living in a country where she has no friends. She only has you therefore if she loses you she loses everything she has. Encourage her to join some clubs and societies and hopefully she'll become less obsessed with you but if she doesn't just ... (read in full...)
He's a virgin and loses his erection when we try to have sex. What can be done?
Q. i am trying to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he is a virgin and whenever we try to have sex he loses his erection, and it will not come back, he is nervous and scared that it will keep happening and he will not be able to become ...
A. 15 January 2007: I think you put aside a night for just enjoying each other. Tell him that you will not be having sex, just becoming more comfortable with each other and make oral sex as far as you go that night. He sounds like he's scared but possibly thats not ... (read in full...)
He said that im only 16 and i told him age doesnt matter
Q. in the summer of 2005 i went to Puerto rico for a month,then when i came back to new jersey i saw these men walking down the street.and i had never seen them before. little did i know that they moved across the street from me. then after 8 months ...
A. 15 January 2007: You're right. It doesn't matter. If you were 22 and he was 28 it wouldn't matter at all. The thing is that right now it does. This is such a hard response to write because I don't want you to feel I'm patronising you but you're still so young and ... (read in full...)
I have this urge to send my ex bf a nasty e-mail! Why do I want to hurt him?
Q. Hi All, Recently, I just got out of a relationship, but I seem to think of my ex 24/7. The problem is that I do not have any loving thoughts of my ex. The breakup was disasterous, as the both of us threw insults at each other and he asked me not ...
A. 15 January 2007: You're hurting and you want him to hurt as much as you are. That's why you want to send him the email. That's natural. We all have impulses to do stuff like that in your situation but please, please don't do it. It's nearly impossible to stay ... (read in full...)
Can he be separated from his wife and engaged to another girl, at the same time?
Q. Not sure this is the correct forum for this question – however! I’m a line manager to a chap who has recently separated from his wife. After just 2 months, of separation, it was announced over the weekend that he is now engaged to girl. Can this ...
A. 15 January 2007: When you say can he be do you mean legally or ethically? Legally yes, although he can't marry her until he is divorced from his wife, but ethically it seems kind of quick. However I suppose you don't know if this girl was the reason his marriage ... (read in full...)
If your partner was cheating...would you want to know?
Q. if your partner was cheating would you want to know?...
A. 15 January 2007: Right now my answer would have to be, yes I would. However I can imagine it being a somewhat different answer if I were older and/or married when I think you owe it to yourself to try and make a go of it. I'd still want to know however old I was but ... (read in full...)
First kiss was so awkward
Q. Hello everyone. I have a major crisis on my hands. My ex and I got back together just over a week ago and I guess were going out. Last night we had a date and besides never doing anything with a guy not even kissing one, we made out. It was so ...
A. 15 January 2007: First kisses are always awkward!! After my first kiss I was left wondering why anyone bothered to kiss cos it was so nasty. You have to practise kissing to make it feel less awkward. However I think the main problem in your case is that you were ... (read in full...)
He's dating me but marrying his ex because she's pregnant...
Q. Dear Cupids Please advise me here im in a Shakespearean tragedy... My boyfriend is planning to marry the person that he got pregnant. This girl was his ex, which we found out she was pregnant with his child. He did not cheat on me, they have br...
A. 15 January 2007: Your man is in a position where he is so overcome by news of the baby that he can't see how he can be a father without being part of the same household. Can you make him see that he doesn't need to marry his ex to be a good father? Tell him you'd ... (read in full...)
We're both scared of having sex... how can we relax?
Q. my boyfriend and i havent been dating long. He and i are still virgins and both of us are very scared of having sex. How can we relax enough to have sex without being scared that were doing something wrong?...
A. 15 January 2007: Are you sure you're both ready if you're this worried about it? It seems to me that if you're both virgins you won't know if you're doing it wrong anyway. Take it slowly. Get to know each others' bodies before rushing headlong into sex. Teach him ... (read in full...)
He wants to give me oral... I'm worried about how I look "down below"!
Q. my boyfriend wants to have oral sex with me, but i am scared about how i look below even though we have sex often? shud i b confident about what i look like down below? xxxxxxxxx-xxxxxxxxx...
A. 15 January 2007: I think so! Everyone looks different down there anyway, just like every penis is different so try and relax. I bet it's nothing he hasn't seen before!!
CD... (read in full...)
He's dating the girl he cheated on me with. I just ignore them and act happy--is this best thing to do?
Q. Well, lately I've been thinking about things. I recently split with my bf and things ended bitter. He cheated on me and what not and he's done things to me that I've always been quiet about and I never told him that it bothered me. I felt I was ...
A. 15 January 2007: Sweetheart you will be fine. You're brave and strong and there will be a guy who is going to come along as show you that all this pain was worthwhile because it led you to him. ... (read in full...)
I love this guy but our relationship is always on and off. What should I do?
Q. For the past 18 months or so, I've been in love with this guy. We've never done anything, apart from stuff via webcam. It's been on and off always. When it's off its completely off and we don't even talk any more, but when it's on, we'll talk on ...
A. 15 January 2007: Your age is not at all relevant in whether you can love someone. Some fifty year olds have never known love while some 15 year olds swear they have. What makes me think you're confusing love with lust is that you're so caught up with the idea with ... (read in full...)
Why did my cheating ex-lover say he wanted to be friends then decide to cut all ties?
Q. 2 years ago I started dating a guy, he is a long distance lorry driver and we only saw each other at the weekends. He has recently left a 10 year marriage and was lodging with his best mate. We had a great time every weekend out drinking and ...
A. 14 January 2007: Sweetie, your friends are right when they say you should try and forget him. He may have said he wanted to be friends but it's something all guys say when they finish with you to soften the blow. They don't always mean it unfortunately. Listen to ... (read in full...)
Confused about my ex and all the boys in my life!
Q. This is kinda long.. My bf split up with me just after new years, we're still good friends... but i'm having trouble getting over him because i loved him so much. my friend's think that i should just let him go but i don't know what to do, he s...
A. 14 January 2007: To be honest it sounds to me like the american and the guy you're walking to school with is you trying to find a rebound guy because you're worried about your ex getting together with someone and you being by yourself. By your own admission you're ... (read in full...)
I get really clingy to men after the relationship has ended!
Q. heyyyyyyy why do i get so attatched to men? i meet lads then after its ended, i become really clingy.Thinking about it, im 19 and have been properly crazy and obbsessive over at least 5 men!I have no idea why i get like that!its so stupid.i...
A. 14 January 2007: It's okay to miss him, especially since you didn't have any control over the way your relationship ended. I think everyone is a bit like this. When you get a new boyfriend you'll find it easier to move on!!
CD... (read in full...)
I'm at Uni but I find it hard to talk to people and make new friends...
Q. im so down.i live at university where there are thousand of students and i only get on with one person. I find it so hard to talk to people and make new friends. i always think that people dont like me. Iv never had a lot of friends but i thought ...
A. 14 January 2007: Going to uni can be the most difficult time of your life. Friends don't come easy to me either but you have to force yourself to get out there and make friends. I'm shy too but you can't expect people to come to you if you're not willing to make the ... (read in full...)
We've been married 13 years and I can't stop cheating on her!
Q. Hi im 31 male, been married 13 years have two great kids, i cant stop cheating on my wife, she cheated on me before we had kids. im not paying her back. i just cannot stop cheating, i love her in some way, but sex is not there between us. should i ...
A. 14 January 2007: You say you love her so presumably you want your marriage to work. Have you tried talking to her about your concerns to do with sex? It's natural that womens sex drives diminish over the years and maybe she thinks yours has as well. Maybe she'd make ... (read in full...)
Mom Caught me with sisters hubby!
Q. my mom saw me with my sisters hubby this happened by surprising me 4 brunch. she saw me with a mouthful. she said she wouldn't tell but expects he and i to do the right thing. he wants 2 tell her but we only did it once and only head. so?...
A. 14 January 2007: Although it was an awful thing to do it's done now and you can't change it. If your sister's husband wants to tell her then you can't stop him. All you can do is tell her together and stress that it was a total mistake. It will make things awful ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure and worrying my online guy is seeing other women!
Q. I have been dating the most amazing guy who I met through an online dating site for just under two months. He is everything I could have asked for and it's going really well. I know I should be really happy. However, I have been so hurt by past ...
A. 14 January 2007: I know it's so incredibly hard when you've been hurt in the past to see that anyone could possibly not hurt you and obviously if you enter into a relationship with anyone you're opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt but you're also ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me, now we are having a baby together!
Q. my boyfriend cheated on me in switzerland when he was away on a sports trip, it was with the physiotherapist! i had just left hospital and was sick at home when he went away. when he came bak he went all weird and broke up with me but then i found ...
A. 14 January 2007: If you weren't pregnant I'd tell you to dump this loser but I understand that you feel you should stay with him because of your baby. The thing is though even though in your situation I would probably stay with him for the sake of my baby I've ... (read in full...)
How do I tactfully tell my girlfriend... "please don't dress like such a slut"
Q. This is driving me nuts! My girlfriend dresses like a complete slut! I like a girl dressing confidently and showing some skin but this is over the top. Even her own friends make comments! I find it totally unattractive and its making me doubt ...
A. 14 January 2007: To be honest mate you can't tell her what to do or what to wear. She's a grown up and doesn't need a third parent. After all I'm sure you'd be super offended if she told you that you dress like a grandad and she wishes you'd dress a bit younger and ... (read in full...)
Like A Virgin?
Q. will my bf know im a virgin? i told him i had a one night stand a few months ago, thas how i lost my viginity however i was lieing...
A. 14 January 2007: He probably won't know you're a virgin but to be honest I suggest for your own peace of mind that you tell him. Losing your virginity is this huge monumental thing and you'll have enough stress on you worrying about getting everything right etc. If ... (read in full...)
I'm finding that having sex with my bf is hard to cope with, emotionally. Any advice?
Q. Hi agony aunts and uncles Im 17 and have been seeing the most amazing person for about 7.5 months now. Most things about our relationship are good - we both really care about each other and have a perfect balance in the relationship. Recently...
A. 14 January 2007: Absolutely normal. When you first start having sex the hormones start going mad and then suddenly you're back to the hormone filled twelve year old you once were. You go from happy to sad, normal to angry, miserable to hugely depressed in a matter ... (read in full...)
My LD gf doesn't want others to know we are going out. Is she playing me?
Q. I have a long distance relationship and my girlfriend does not want to tell other people we know that we are going out, and is extremely flirty. I have never felt this way about someone before and I am worried that I am being played. She says she ...
A. 14 January 2007: Some people are more naturally flirty than others and that can make us "less flirty" people feel like we're being played but it's possible that flirting is all there is to it. When you say she doesn't want people to know I'm not really sure who you ... (read in full...)
He's emotionally unavailable, rarely sees me and lets me down at the last minute..a lot! Stay or walk away?
Q. I have been having seeing a man on and off for a number of years. Orginally we started dating for a couple of years and although we did sleep together in the same bed we never had sex becuase he said he didn't want to take advantage of me. He went ...
A. 14 January 2007: It's absolutely great that you still care for this guy so much. I just wish he could afford you the same privilege. You deserve to be loved wholly and completely and it doesn't sound like this guy is capable of that just now. Although I think you'll ... (read in full...)
I'm so bored with my fiancee! Am I really in love in with him? What do you think?
Q. I am engaged to my boyfriend of four years. We decided to get married in no less than a year and up until recently everything has been been ok. We have a good solid relationship but he hates to go out and even walking on the beach he finds boring. I ...
A. 14 January 2007: I think you're getting cold feet about the commitment of marriage. Do you love him, yes or no? What's your first instinct because whatever that is, is the right answer. Your relationship has moved from exciting and unpredictable in the early stages ... (read in full...)
Is it morally wrong for a teacher to wink at a female student (15-17)?
Q. is it morally wrong for a male teacher to wink at a female student age 15-17? I need to know because my gf is complaining about this teacher who does it to her and ONLY her....
A. 14 January 2007: I don't think he should wink at her if it's making her feel uncomfortable but if it's just winking and not coupled with any other type of inappropriate behaviour then it's probably nothing to be concerned about. Most people see winking as a harmless ... (read in full...)
I want to help her but i feel she is trying to permanently break us up!
Q. My girlfriend was pregnant with another guy's baby, way before i met her, but seeing as i loved her i was fine with that, we have been going out for 3 weeks yesterday when she told me she was worried about the baby and wanted a few days break from ...
A. 14 January 2007: I think you just have to tell her you're still there for her and hope she knows from that that you still care for her. If you pressure her too much you might push her further away which is the last thing you want to do but she might see it that way. ... (read in full...)
If he finds out I cheated with my ex, it will destroy him and out future. What do I do?
Q. Hi, Right what it is, ive been with my bf for 2years and i love him more than anything and yes we are only young but we plan to b forever, and we talk about having children. Bt about 3month ago, i cheated with my Ex, of 3 years, and until then, i ...
A. 14 January 2007: How likely is it that your current boyfriend will find out about what happened if you don't tell him? For one mistake it doesn't seem worth upsetting him by confessing but obviously if there's any chance of him finding out off someone else it's ... (read in full...)
Why can't he see what we have instead of thinking the grass is always greener on the other side?
Q. I am 27 years old and have been with my boyfriend since I was 17. We have always had a wonderful relationship and moved in together just over a year ago. I thought everything was fine with our relationship, I was even beginning to think about ...
A. 14 January 2007: I'm so sorry you're going through this because it doesn't sound like you deserve it at all but I think you're hanging onto a relationship that isn't there anymore. You were so young when you got together that you've never had the chance of lots of ... (read in full...)
Just got out of a 2 year relationship-is it too soon to date others, again?
Q. hi i have just come out of a 2 year relationship which ended on good terms.thing is i really like this bloke and he seems to like me as well.i am just wondering is it too soon to start a new relationship or just go on a few dates first and have fun?...
A. 14 January 2007: Only you can know if you're ready to move on from your last relationship. To be honest I'd be inclined to wait a while and enjoy being single. There's no rush to jump headlong into another relationship is there? However if you truly feel ready go ... (read in full...)
I can't 'gaze' back in my bf's eyes! It bothers me! Why am I like this?
Q. why can't i look into my boyfriends eyes for longer than about 2 seconds?, he tries to gaze into my eyes and i have to look away because i can't stand it. is there something wrong with me? what should i do?...
A. 14 January 2007: It's okay if you find eye contact awkward. It takes practise before you can really keep eyecontact during a conversation or eyegazing. Just try and make yourself look for a few seconds extra everytime. It'll get easier I promise.
CD... (read in full...)
When is the right time to say I love you to a girl?
Q. when is the right time to say i love you to a girl? because i have a girlfriend that i have been going out with for nearly 3 months and i haven't actually said it to her beacuse i don't no if its to early to say and i don't want to put her off....
A. 14 January 2007: It depends when you feel it. If you're absolutely 100% sure it's love you're feeling and not lust then say it because love is reciprocal and it's very hard to feel happy and in love if the other person doesn't return at least some of your feelings! ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's still in love with his ex gf?
Q. my boyfriend and i 've been in very loving long distant relationship for now over 5 months we both live in uk but different cities and we see each other twice a month, but recently his ex came from her school in holiday to work partime for her ...
A. 14 January 2007: I can understand why you would feel self conscious about this girl staying with your boyfriend but what it really comes down to is do you trust him? He doesn't seem to have given you any reason not to trust him so I'd be inclined to give him the ... (read in full...)
Is this email chick hitting on my boyfriend?
Q. I just saw an email from a girl to my boyfriend, i don't know if i'm being way too sensitive, but in the email she says. "I so need to see the sun. I want to get out of town. Seriously. Some place hot?" is she trying to attract my boyfriend or am I ...
A. 14 January 2007: I REALLY REALLY think you're reading too much into it, unless like the above noter says your boyfriend has access to a house somewhere hot. I think it's an innocent comment to be honest.
CD... (read in full...)
He said he's no good at love but he feels "lust' for me-what does he mean?
Q. I have worked with this man for 9 years i always knew he liked me we both have partners so did nothing about it until now im in love with him deeply he has stopped the affair because of his partner which i understand but i think he still wants me at ...
A. 14 January 2007: To be honest it sounds like something a guy a third of his age would say..... that he's happy to continue having sex with you but not to expect him to fall in love anytime soon. Sorry if that sounds a little harsh but I think thats what he's trying ... (read in full...)
It seems the more we get into this relationship-the more he pulls away! What's going on?
Q. Should I finish with my boyfriend. We have a fab time dating and have done now for eight months, but he's already told me he nover wants to marry or live with someone again. On top of that he'e now telling me he intends going on a lads holiday. ...
A. 14 January 2007: It depends what you want? Do you want someone to get married to or live with? If ultimately you both want different things it doesn't seem worth wasting your time with someone who can never give you what you want. However, if fun is fine for now and ... (read in full...)
Did I make a fool of myself on the BBW dating site?
Q. After being single for 5 years i thought i would give internet dating a shot, so a few months ago i signed up for a bbw dating site (as im a big girl myself i thought it best as i wouldnt have to explain about my size later on if i did meet ...
A. 14 January 2007: Hmm I think when he said he was ill but you saw him online that was just him playing hard to get. After all it's considered (i think wrongly) stupid to be too keen early on. It's possible that he's still playing hard to get or is just busy with work ... (read in full...)
How much does a guy expect from a virgin? I'm so nervous!
Q. my boyfriend and i are ready to take things to the "next level" problem is im a virgin and extremely nervous..the question is how much does a guy expect from a virgin for first time sex together and what can i do so i dont seem like im doing ...
A. 14 January 2007: Does he know you're a virgin and is he experienced? The way I got round it on my first time was to ask him to show me how he liked it and it took the pressure off. He knew I was a virgin so he took the lead and told me where to touch him, how to ... (read in full...)
He's dating the girl he cheated on me with. I just ignore them and act happy--is this best thing to do?
Q. Well, lately I've been thinking about things. I recently split with my bf and things ended bitter. He cheated on me and what not and he's done things to me that I've always been quiet about and I never told him that it bothered me. I felt I was ...
A. 14 January 2007: Wow! You're a total hero! In your position I think I would totally fall apart and you're being SO BRAVE!! I think you're doing absolutely the right thing to hold yourself together but don't be afraid to have a little cry sometimes if you need to. It ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me. Is he just trying to be nice?
Q. I know this is probably a stupid question...but iv been going out with this guy for less than two weeks and he already says he loves me, and he asks me if i love him...i mean yes i really like him, but dont love him as such yet, surly he isnt being ...
A. 14 January 2007: I think he really likes you and is mistaking those feelings for love. Quite often with guys our age they seem to say I love you and mean I lust you. In my opinion, at least, love is the comfortable settled feeling you have with someone when the non ... (read in full...)
I want to help her but i feel she is trying to permanently break us up!
Q. My girlfriend was pregnant with another guy's baby, way before i met her, but seeing as i loved her i was fine with that, we have been going out for 3 weeks yesterday when she told me she was worried about the baby and wanted a few days break from ...
A. 14 January 2007: Give her time. Remember her hormones are all over the place right now. Leave her a message telling her you're here if she needs to talk and to call you if she needs anything. Then the ball is in her court. Hope this helps.
CD... (read in full...)
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