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*eets agony aunt


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I am sick of my partner trying to hit on women 1/2 his age

Q.   My partner is 50 soon and he keeps talking to young women half his age in public when he's with me. He keeps helping young women in the supermarket for instance the other day a young woman dropped a can of coca cola in the supermarket on the floor ...

A.   17 March 2024: I have learned through the years, that I cannot control another person. I cannot make anyone be what I need. They are who they are. If who they are makes me uncomfortable, sad, angry, or jealous, it's probably time for me to leave. You cannot ... (read in full...)

I found emails between my boyfriend and his ex

Q.   Hi all. I have a question. I am not sure if it's something I should be worried about. My boyfriend moved to my area a month ago and we have been exclusively dating. We enjoy each other's company and get on well. When we have sex, he doesn't reall...

A.   24 March 2022: Does this girl know you exist? Does she know you two are in a relationship with each other/sleeping together? I find that men who are in a relationship, and want another woman to know it, will say something about the relationship. Do his emails r... (read in full...)

I just want love but all I get is criticism. Nothing is ever good enough for my husband.

Q.   Hi, I am a nearly 32 year old married female, no children. My husband constantly pulls me down. I am a sensitive person but his constant abuse is tiring me. He’s very OCD about our home. I run a business and he also works very hard at his job ...

A.   4 January 2021: Oh friend, if he is like this with you, I shudder to imagine what kind of self esteem basher he would be to his children. Or, he would be the father that actively turns the kids against you. Keep in mind - he CHOSE you. He decided you were the woman ... (read in full...)

Is our relationship going to work if she can never trust me?

Q.   My girlfriend keeps checking my phone on the sly, almost every other day. I've lost count of the amount of times I've caught her snooping and her looking all embarrassed about it. She says she can't help herself if I leave it lying around, which I ...

A.   6 December 2020: If we asked her, would she tell us that you have never given her reason to doubt you? No secret chats with an ex, or a "friend," or being on dating sites when you're supposed to be committed to her? If she can say that you have truly done nothing, ... (read in full...)

I haven't had sex for 7 years so now I'm afraid to

Q.   I am 58yrs and never had sex for 7 years Now I have boyfriend and I am scared because I don’t remember any thing ...

A.   14 August 2020: I'm pretty sure you're going to remember. What would worry me more is atrophy and pain. Please talk to your doctor about this. Things change as you age, and since you've taken an extended break, it might not feel the same.... (read in full...)

The man I am dating told me he still loves his ex

Q.   Hi I’ve just started a new relationship I really like him I split with my partner a year ago he split with his 4 months ago we were in bed last night and he told me he still loves his ex so obviously now I am confused as to what to do I know I ...

A.   10 July 2020: Here is my feeling on this: He got you. He knows he has you. Now his commitmentphobia is rearing on it's hind legs like a stallion horse in a springtime parade. I doubt he means, "I love her like a sister." He means, "If she were to come alo... (read in full...)

We had some good dates and now he messaged me and said he's not ready for a relationship

Q.   I went on a few dates with a guy and they seemed to go really well. He’s very shy and has had a difficult life from the snippets he’s told me. He’s experienced a lot of loss and due to a rift between his parents, he doesn’t see much of either of ...

A.   23 June 2020: Oh wow, this has to be painful for you to hear from him. He's done a complete 180 from morning to evening. It might be good for you to look into attachment styles. He seems to have a very avoidant attachment style. I honestly do not believe for ... (read in full...)

Should I try again with the woman I dumped?

Q.   I broke up with my girlfriend because she had a degree and gets paid more than me. She has her own place. I moved back in with my parents because I’m going through a divorce. I have a crappy job she tried to help me find a better one. I kind of ...

A.   18 February 2020: Please do not get back together with her. Give her the things back that belong to her. She deserves to move on, and you need to focus on your own life. Don't take her back because you need sex. That would be cruel, and she doesn't deserve that. ... (read in full...)

Does my partner have the right to know about the details of my therapy sessions?

Q.   Hi. I won't bore you with too many details. Just want to know if you think it is appropriate for your spouse/partner to ask you about the details of your therapy sessions? I was diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD. I have begun counselling rece...

A.   19 August 2019: What happens in therapy should stay in therapy. If he wants to know what is said, how about if he finds a couples counselor, and you two go together. Then he can be a part of it all. You, however, are in individual counseling, and you are working on ... (read in full...)

Should I confront him or break it off?

Q.   I have been seeing him for just over two months. We have a great connection, the sex is amazing and we can talk for hours. We are comfortable around each other. It’s really great most of the time. I noticed when I started seeing him that he had ...

A.   19 August 2019: It sounds like he is a very selfish person. I don't feel like you owe him an explanation, but you do owe your heart a long, permanent break from him. He says he doesn't like jealousy, and yet isn't he inviting it with the pictures and the posts? I ... (read in full...)

Is mutual masturbation with random online women cheating on my wife of 10 years?

Q.   I've been married for 10 years. I love my wife dearly and our sex life is still very much alive and well. The problem is I used to go into chat rooms before I met her. It involved video exchanges with random women. I used to pay for it but once that ...

A.   19 August 2019: If you keep something a secret from your spouse, then it is considered cheating. If you are no longer excited by your wife, maybe it's time you tell her this, and then let her decide if she wants to be married to you or not. You get a high off of ... (read in full...)

He's lusting after young women. What do I get?

Q.   My partner can't get the type of girls he wants because they are well out of his league (model types much younger than us )we're in our forties ) and he spends his times lusting after them in porn. This makes me feel like he is settling for me a...

A.   21 January 2018: From what you say, it sounds like you have someone who is addicted to the act, but not the person. He's looking at these young firm [and fake] bodies, and it makes you feel unappreciated and not very desirable. I do not want to believe that men... (read in full...)

How do we build a lasting partnership?

Q.   Hi. I’m in my 40’s and recently started seeing a chap in his 50’s, who I knew over 20 years ago. There was always something there, but we were both attached to others, so lost touch. The spark was still there, when we bumped into each other. We ...

A.   21 January 2018: Chemistry is great, but it sounds like maybe your biggest thing in common is a fantasy of who you think the other person is, and the sex. Do you have shared interests? Do you enjoy the same music, same recreational activities, attend family events ... (read in full...)

Will he always cheat on me?

Q.   Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and a month ago I caught him talking to other girls on snapchat and receiving nudes. I pulled him up on it and was going to leave him however gave him a second chance. A few days ago...

A.   10 December 2017: He knows that you will tolerate anything. Why? Because you find out he's lying to you, you throw a fit, then you weaken and allow him to come back. He knows you'll put up with anything! Stop believing his words. You cannot believe them. Trust hi... (read in full...)

A practical joke gone horribly wrong

Q.   My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...

A.   10 December 2017: This is really sad. You and your friend decided to torment someone due to her choice in a crush, to teach her a lesson. This is so cruel. What I hope is that you can learn that people can like whomever they choose. You don't get to decide who a ... (read in full...)

Help me sort out my feelings

Q.   Hi, I'm not sure where to start really. I've been in a relationship for 4 years. Basically I felt that he couldn't commit to me. He never asked me to move in or when we'd talk about it he'd come up with so many excuses, he had issues showing h...

A.   18 November 2017: If your long-term exboyfriend of 4 years truly, seriously wanted to be with you, all this love talk would have happened long before the break up. When you find someone who means the world to you, you do everything in your power not to alienate ... (read in full...)

Mr Nice Guy is perfect for me but why do I feel something is missing?

Q.   I have a history of dating unavailable, cheating, lying, game playing men. In fact when I look back I've only ever had one healthy relationship that I ended up pushing away with my own actions. This guy is amazing! I am insanely attracted to him...

A.   17 November 2017: I think what you're missing is the pain. Sometimes, we equate love with pain. This man is open, honest, and every woman's dream. However, since you are used to dating men who cause you pain, it leaves you feeling like something isn't right. Maybe ... (read in full...)

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