Threesome advice

allesandromarcello, posted over a year ago

My girlfriend and I have known each other for 3 years and have both had a previous marriage, are now mid-40s, attractive, intelligent, responsible and have full working lives. I've always wanted to have a threesome nad have hinted to her but she always claims she wouldn't want to see me with anyone else. She has been with a couple of women in the past and enjoyed it. I hvae made it explicit that I would only want to see her with a woman and I wouldn't make love to the other woman. I also would like to have the one-off experience of seeing her with another man but, again, she is so committed to me she asks why I would want her to be with another man. For me, it's just something I want to get out of my system and the feeling won't go away. I could ask her straight as a favour. I think in the realitiy of the situation she would enjoy it and be able to put it behind her as an experience, something 'done.' I just can't quit settle with her having this constant thought. As a divorcee who is fortunate enough to be fit and handsome, I think I should take the chance while it lasts before I get too old and undesirable.

What should I do? Am I barking up the wrong tree and ignoring all the good things I have in life (which are many - I am a great survivor and can manage on my own).

Thanks

Posted on 2 February 2008 @ 1:11 (London time) - permalink
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happyholly, posted over a year ago

All you can do is ask your girlfriend, if she says yes then alot of talking b 4 hand and lot of reasuring 2 make sure this will not change your relationship afterwards. If she says NO you will have 2 respect this and i am afraid just have this as a Fantasy( sometimes than can be better than the real thing,as no disapointments. What ever way you go stay save,have fun and remember the grass is not always greener but it could be a different shade.

All the best ,Holly x

Posted on 5 February 2008 @ 15:16 (London time) - permalink
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Honeypie, posted over a year ago

I know this is an old post but, you should never force YOUR fantasies on someone. You want to see/do this, she doesn't - you need to respect her and realize that not ALL fantasies need to be carried out.

Sharing a fantasy is fine, playing around with a fantasy is cool to.

Ask her and if she says yes then go for it if she says no then you need to either find someone else who will or let it go.

So many people end up with break up after 3-somes. Why not watch some 3 way action porn together?

I think a lot of women think a partner who suggests a 3 way finds them lacking and therefor wants a 3rd person to join.

Posted on 26 December 2008 @ 4:26 (London time) - permalink
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Emmajane, posted over a year ago

I kind of agree with Honeypie, however I do understand why you would want this. One of my past boyfriends said that watching us in a mirror was ok, but he really wanted to see me enjoying sex, from a slight distance. So we arranged it. He enjoyed it, I found out that I like being watched (surprise to me).

As to the 3some, it's not a 3some if you watch your wife with another girl. It's a 3some when you all have sex with each other. If you're not prepared to do that as a couple then don't go there! I've been the second girl on several occasions and always thought the other girl was cool about me being there but on two occasions she wasn't. In short, the couple had not agreed the parameters and worse, he'd lied to me about what she wanted. So now I never do it without speaking to both parties.

Posted on 13 February 2009 @ 14:28 (London time) - permalink
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MrTom, posted over a year ago

I think its true if you g/f agrees you need to have talked about what you both are happy with an what you both are not happy to happen.

The wife an I had talked a lot about me watching her with another man, an when it happen to say the least the wife was very enthusiastic with him.

Hearing her tell him what she wanted as they had sex in many differnt positions an her asking what he wanted an seeing her very obvious enjoyment made it very very real indeed, an you would need to prepare for that.

It was the wifes fantasy to have sex with a woman as i watched, an it was great to watch her have sex with a woman but she had to return the favour an have sex with her as her friend husband watched.

So you would need to be carefull as to where it leads to as well.

Posted on 18 April 2009 @ 14:6 (London time) - permalink
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