New here? Register in under one minute Already a member? Login

244985 questions, 1084399 answers

Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > Please Criticize My Popcorn

Please Criticize My Popcorn

, posted over a year ago

Hey Everyone...

First, I have to say that over the last 11 months since I joined this site, I have learned to look from quite a few more different perspectives. As some of you probably have seen, near the beginning to about mid-way through my membership here, my comments were quite unrefined and actually full of vulgarity. I cannot stress my apologies on that enough.

However, through the indirect guidance of the many of you, I have gradually considered my own stances in various topics, on top of actual day to day life that I have with career, family, friends, and associates. So I thank you for that.

Throughout my various correspondances here on DC, I have stomped on a few toes, and caused a bit of a disturbance - eg: Bonym, and on one of my first posts about being raped with Irish, and the few tidbits here and there with various others. Well, honestly, I don't know how Andrew can take my opinions so well without kicking me off DC for good!

Anyway, I won't be changing my bluntness and directness, however, Eddie did point out a very good concept - "I wouldn't want to be responsible for sending someone over the edge."

With that said, I should definitely try to be more compassionate, especially for the young-uns. I guess, if I don't have anything good to say, I shouldn't say it right? 8]

Anyhow, as some of you might have come upon lately, I was/am in a debate of sorts with someone from this site. I have an idea who this person and who these people are, but of course I won't say who I think this person is. However, IF you have the patience and the time and of course, the willingness to, I would actually like you to critique my comments from these two links:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-says-i-make-him-feel-dirty.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/want-to-share-some-research-on-the-effects.html

Now, don't worry about hurting my feelings, and definitely do not worry that I would try to argue with you here. I just want to know what you think, how you feel.

Aside from my sarcasm in some points, am I being clear enough in my words? Am I being too harsh? Do you actually understand, and possibly maybe I am not using the correct words to get my point across? Have I been unfair towards Ms. Anti-Martini?

Anyway, yeah... 8]

Posted on 6 December 2006 @ 9:12 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Actually, you know what? Nevermind. Let's just keep it like this. This site is way to awesome for someone like me to ruin it. 8]

Thanks

Posted on 6 December 2006 @ 9:21 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

David Lewis, posted over a year ago

I am not going to criticise you. I am a firm believer in expressing my beliefs, even if it is not particularly something people will agree with.

This site is about giving advice from your side and expressing your own opinions.

I happen to think you give very good advice, some I agree with, some I dont. That doesn't mean it is right or wrong. I think you should continue as you are.

Posted on 6 December 2006 @ 10:42 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

vina_101, posted over a year ago

Don't worry about it Martini. Sometimes you speak the truth and people don't want to hear it or face facts so they get offended. It's sometimes better to speak the truth instead of sugar coating things and telling people what they want to hear to make them feel good. I try my best not to do that and to keep it real because when you do that you don't really help them. So keep doing yo thang Martini.

And it's good that you can admit when you are wrong, that's a good quality to have.

xxx :)

Posted on 6 December 2006 @ 11:21 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Yos, posted over a year ago

Anyone who uses the web has to expect a variety of opinions. That's the great thing about it.

Posted on 6 December 2006 @ 14:7 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Alright, thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm going to be a bit more selective on the threads I choose from now on, because things like the beauty and porn is a never ending debate. I am neither against nor for porn, and well beauty is whatever. For the ones where people need help, I really have to reconsider how they feel. I mean, we're all not the same internally. Some are stronger and others in chaos.

Especially in the virtual world, where text is the second most powerful medium - the first being the off switch of the ISP's servers, I should use more tactful words, not that I won't be blunt. It's just that, I should definitely take a more compassionate approach as well.

Posted on 6 December 2006 @ 21:9 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Yos, posted over a year ago

Compassion is the key :)

Porn is a tough one since it really can work for some people, and really destroy others. Its very easy to get moralistic about it too.

For me I think it goes beyond porn. It's about the images we consume, and how they relate to reality. Porn, Hollywood, TV, magazines, books, they all provide a mix of fantasy and reality. The danger is that as fantasy becomes more realistic it becomes harder for us to separate it from reality, and we start to compare ourselves to the fantasy, to the impossible, and come up wanting.

The danger of porn is when people confuse it for 'real sex'. But then the danger of the fashion industry is the same thing... when we assume the images we see are of real people (and not photoshopped to hell and back). And so on.

Posted on 7 December 2006 @ 0:8 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Sally R. Cinnamon, posted over a year ago

Martini you have my full support and backing. You have a voice to be heard in the porn debate and its an important one. I don't totally agree, but I value your contribution. Even if you add more compassion to how you say things (never a bad thing), you don't need to change what you say. - Sally

Posted on 7 December 2006 @ 3:8 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

willywombat, posted over a year ago

Martini, don't change 'cos then you wouldn't be being true to yourself and your beliefs...each person to their own thoughts and opinions!!

Posted on 12 December 2006 @ 23:34 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Alrighty... I won't change then. Well, definitely like the other thread... Ah so woozy. 8]

Posted on 13 December 2006 @ 0:9 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Sexybum, posted over a year ago

Martini don't change what you say.... I like you and your opinions.... The site wouldn't be what it is without the mix of characters that we have on here....

If someone doesn't like what you written then they can say so in the thread..... Other aunts can debate with you if they wish or question askers can tell you themselves... The opportunity is there..... A great answer to a question is a controversial thread that displays the reasoning of every point of view avalible.......The more debating the better ( I guess)

I know I would speak up if I dis-agree with soemthing so that's what you should do and if others don't like it then they can speak up to

Posted on 15 December 2006 @ 14:34 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

, posted over a year ago

Hi Sexybum, it's great to see you around here again! 8]

As for me changing stuff, I was actually worried for the sake of people taking in my words. Though I know I can be harsh and as Andrew had said, "Cheeky", not everyone can take a good blow to the face with a giant foam bat. You see, it's the initial scare, then all hell breaks loose until they have the desire to actually touch the bat that it's really foamy...

Did I just lose you?

Anyway, the whole porn and beauty conflict wasn't the thing that set me off on entering this thread. It was just over some posts that I gave that questioned myself. Eg: my ex told me that although I can be ultra-sensitive to her moods, needs, and wants, I can also strangely be inconsiderate on the things she thought about. Example would be if she's cold, I would get a jacket or blanket for her. If she is any slightly upset about work or school, I would cheer her up with a puppet show or something naughty. Or if she had a cold, I would...

Anyway, however, when she told me about how her friends thought and that she told me she was influenced to think a certain way, and I would belittle those things she thought about, is what she was talking about. Even though to me, her thoughts didn't make sense and were actually influences from her moronic retarded friends (see what I mean?), they were still partially her own.

Thus, when I see some of my posts here on DC on various threads, I find myself doing similar things. Eg: for me, I find that the bulk of the people who asks questions here on DC really need a good dump in the cold ocean or let loose a pack of wild dogs on them, so they 'wake' up from their illusion or misforgiving. However, I would read other people's posts and wonder whether I am doing the same thing I did to my ex, and then all hell breaks loose inside of me. Well, not quite, more like, whether I shouldn't be talking at all.

Honestly, sometimes I make myself laugh, and then throughout the day, people wonder why I'm laughing at myself, or at the clock... 8/

Well, I'm still here, and I still say stuff, but always keeping myself in check. I just want to learn to change this aspect of me, in case it may repeat itself in a future intimate relationship. You know?

However, thanks for your comments and everyone else's. It's a very supportive site for the most part (99% of the time). 8]

[bows]

Posted on 17 December 2006 @ 1:58 (London time) - permalink
(Log in to flag spam/offensive/junk messages to moderators)

REPLY TO MESSAGE or Start a new topic

Add a new message to this topic