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Dear Cupid > Forums > Site Feedback > Old posts

Old posts

RubyBirtle, posted over a year ago

It doesn't look like anybody's been here for a looong time (.....spots some tumbleweed rolling past...)

And I guess it's too late to make any changes to the way the site works but I think there should be some policy that posts/threads that have been inactive for some time should be automatically closed.

There's been a little spate recently of people adding new answers to questions from years ago. Now I'm sure this isn't too much of a problem but I'd hate it to be a negative trigger for some poor unsuspecting person who gets an email alert and then is reminded of that awful time of their life. (Their divorce, their bereavement, their abortion or miscarriage.)

I know people can close their posts if they choose but I'm sure lots of people don't think to do it.

What do other people think?

Posted on 19 January 2017 @ 15:43 (London time) - permalink
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Abella, posted over a year ago

I love reading the old posts. They still represent a marvellous deep well of good advice. And many of those early questions have 50 to 80 answers. All valid, some with great wisdom and compassion for the OP. So why remove them?

People move on in their lives and may have even lost the use of or stopped using an earlier email provider.

And with hundreds of thousands of questions and well over 1 million answers I doubt that many are regularly checking and rechecking for any new responses to their original question.

The 15 year old in 2007 may now have a career and a thriving social life and be too busy to check. Or juggling her three children and her career, trying to get to the gym more often, and helping her Mom in her ''spare time.'' Or on to the third marriage and well over the first and second ex's.

And if they are not over an ex after ten years then perhaps they should post a new question to DearCupid today.

My original email provider crashed and burned. Very suddenly. They no longer exist. Hopeless at allowing existing customers time to deal with it. So I cannot even gain access to that email account. It's been very frustrating.

And of course there are people who have closed their account but have made the choice to allow their posts to remain. Because they wanted their posts to remain. Thus poster ABCXYZ closes their account but allows the posts to remain thus everything posted by ABCXYZ now shows up as being posted by anonymous.

New users to dearcupid often approach the site after googling to see if they can find answers to their problem. They read a few old answers and then decide to post their own new question. So the old answers on the Internet can be an open gate that draws new users to the current site.

I would not support a blanket removal of the old posts. In fact I am in awe of the fact that so many questions and so many answers have been posted.

The depth of advice is awesome.

The variety of questions is marvellous.

And from the earliest to the most recent posts they tell a story of the history of the site and the gradual evolution of changing values and attitudes.

It is social history at it's finest.

Of course some posters do close their account and choose to also remove all their posts. That though it is a sad outcome if they are underestimating how valued their posts are to others.

Either due to the wisdom, the kindness, the empathy, the humor, the commonsense advice, the direct approach, the wisdom or whatever it was that really meant something to the persons who enjoyed reading the posts originally created by ABCXYZ (apologies if there is or has been a poster with this name)

Posted on 3 June 2017 @ 21:44 (London time) - permalink
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RubyBirtle, posted over a year ago

I'm not saying that they should be DELETED - I too enjoy reading old posts and think that they are a useful resource. I simply think they should be closed to further answers after a certain time period of inactivity.

If they are left open, they can be added to many years later. This could be a problem if the OP originally signed up to receive email alerts when replies are posted. Not everyone will change their email address regularly. Even if they don't read the reply, receiving the email might be a thoroughly unpleasant trigger, reminding them of their miscarriage/divorce/rape/etc

I remember reading a reply on a thread about retroactive jealousy that had been inactive for about 5 years. A new reader added to it and the OP replied saying that he had gone to couples counselling with his partner and his relationship had much improved. Yet a week after this post, the OP had posted several questions (rants) about the sexual history of his partner again.

And I recall this post where the poster begs twice for people to stop answering the question, yet it was added to for several YEARS before DC finally closed it down

Posted on 11 June 2017 @ 21:24 (London time) - permalink
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RubyBirtle, posted over a year ago

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-teen-girl-masturbate-as-often-as-teen.html

Posted on 11 June 2017 @ 21:26 (London time) - permalink
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Abella, posted over a year ago

The question you referred to, above, with 238 answers, has been closed.

Anyone can read the original question and attempt to answer the question.

But no answers and no follow up posts can be added to it as the question has already been closed by a moderator.

similarly another question with 12 answers re whether Christian girls masturbate has also been closed.

As have the following questions been closed at various points some in time the past, after a range of valid answers were published.

The ones I found, very readily, as already closed questions from years ago included:

Do other Christian girls masturbate?

Is it bad for a Christian girl to masturbate?

I can't stop masturbating and people are noticing.

I'm 13 and I'm horny!

My parents are disgusted by me after they caught me masturbating.

It is clear that Moderators already do close questions from time to time. When they have valid reasons to do so.

Moderators can close a question at any point they see as appropriate. For reasons that comply with moderators guidelines and where it is seen as appropriate.

For instance after a day or so, or after much longer than that. Depending on circumstances and any situations that are a cause for concern.

And with over 340,000 questions asked and published there are always going to be some closed soon after, or long after, they were published for a variety of reasons.

Of course some questions published in 2007 might be questions that would not be published in 2017 but which were identified as ok in another time period.

That reflects that social attitudes and responses can alter slowly or swiftly due to changes in values and attitudes over a time.

I feel that Moderators would be constantly on the alert for anything that was causing any concern when moderating and noticing anything untoward or was inappropriate in respect to attempts to revive a post.

Not all subsequent or follow-up posts would be inappropriate but if they were of sufficient concern then that is when closing the question might be considered.

Moderators could take steps then to close a question or even, in consultation with other moderators, disable an account raising particular concerns.

Hope that helps to confirm that Moderators are sensitive and responsible about closing questions, where it appears to be warranted in the circumstances.

Posted on 12 June 2017 @ 3:49 (London time) - permalink
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