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Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > Text Message Jokes

Text Message Jokes

, posted over a year ago

I wonder how many of us get these 'jokes' on our mobile phone, groan and think "That wasn't at all funny" and immediately delete them?

I've got a proposition - to start a collection here that at the very least make you laugh and forward on to at least three people. Basically, an attempt to weed out the crap and collect the good stuff.

I had two this morning which fit into that category for me. -

It was the happiest day of my life. Arrived at church, wife waiting at altar. Walked up the aisle, kissed her on the cheek. Smiled. Then closed the lid.

Man gets home, sits in front of TV, tells wife "get me a beer before it starts".

He drinks it then says "Quick, get me another before it starts".

She gets it, he drinks it and says "Another - before it starts".

She says "Listen here you fat lazy c**t, you walk in, sit down and start barking orders . . . "

He says "F**k me, it's started."

Posted on 4 May 2008 @ 12:19 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

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Lots of love,

Stevie Wonder.

ps :::....: !!

Posted on 4 May 2008 @ 12:53 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

is that Stevie playing tennis with Helen Keller? Don't tell me the score I can guess. Endless luv.

Posted on 11 May 2008 @ 1:34 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

I just answered the door to a 6ft beetle who gave me a slap and told me to fcuk off....apparently there's a nasty bug going round!!

: ^ o

Posted on 11 May 2008 @ 2:57 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience ha!ha! fookin ha!

Guess who's 5 months gone? As many a person on this rock just love abit of goss this is one of my favs as it never fails to work no matter how many times you use it!!!!!!!

SANTA!!!!!!!!

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 16:59 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Mandy!!! You seriously caught me off guard there for a moment!! Guess that's why his face is so rosy, that naughty man...

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 17:4 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I won a competition the other week to go to jamaica for 3 weeks!! It's this saturday - april 1st. And I can take 8 friends!!

So I was wondering if it would be alright if you could put my bin out whilst i'm away?

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 20:18 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

It always works that one love Ive sent it to the same mate for 6yrs and she falls for it everytime...And they think Im the donut Im a donut in disquise (if dats how u spell it) Ive got a P.H.D in domestic Engineering so im not a spud mate (:0) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 20:22 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Hope! Good one! Mandy, thanks for looking up hobnob for me, I just went to look on google and found the same info and came back to report and you'd already done my homework for me. You're no donut, hun, you are a lovely cinnamon bun with extra sweet icing!

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 20:59 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

RRRRR! Thats so sweet! pardon the pun! but nobodys eva called me a cinnamon bun with extra icing b4 Im all exthited now tanks hunny BIG SQUIDGYS TO YOU XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 22:11 (London time) - permalink
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BigSis, posted over a year ago

Two Irishmen on their first holiday to Florida, are camping in the Everglades, and they see an aligator with a guys head and arms sticking out of it's mouth.

Paddy turns to Mick and says; "Jaysis Mick, would ye look at that flash fooker in the Lacoste sleeping bag!"

Posted on 12 May 2008 @ 22:43 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.

Posted on 13 May 2008 @ 10:33 (London time) - permalink
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