Sordid past

Cowtown, posted over a year ago

My girlfriend recently told me 'most' of her past. This included a couple of hundred men some of which were in large sex parties. I am having a hard time accepting this. I realize that it is in the past but it seems to be an unreasonably large amount of men. I love my girlfriend but don't know how to cope with this. What do I need to do?

Posted on 18 April 2006 @ 16:58 (London time) - permalink
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bridget, posted over a year ago

This belongs in the main site but ill answer it now..

Hey you are worrying to much about nothing really..You should just accept it and move on with her. At least she had the decensy to inform you about it..

Although if it really is making you feel a tad uneasy then communicate with your girlfriend and try and sort this out as it is obviously hurting you and making you feel uncomfortable..

Communication is the best form of medicine in all relationships, its just knowing your own unique way of wording things..

Best Wishes

Jacqueline

Posted on 18 April 2006 @ 22:52 (London time) - permalink
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PaperHeartS, posted over a year ago

I have had a similar problem in my new relationship apart from I am the woman with the "sordid past" the way me and my partner have dealt with it was to sit down and have a totally honest chat about it I answered all his questions (only if I was comfortable doing so) and then let him know that I love him dearly I want to put it all in my past and so does he. It took a while but I was just allways open and honest with him about my past we kept NO secrets and we both made sure we showed each other regulary how much we love each other and I let him know it was normal for him to feel the way he did, because it will bother you if you love your girlfriend you'll be plagued by thoughts of her having sex with all these other people and it'll drive you crazy, but you just have to realsie how destructive these thoughts are and that it is all in the past now and it's time to move on and ejoy being in the present with your partner that you love so much. Eventually the thoughts will fade, it's just a matter of time hold on in there, it'll be worth it :-)

Posted on 6 October 2006 @ 14:28 (London time) - permalink
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Yos, posted over a year ago

There are a lot of good posts on the main part of this site about this subject. It is one of the most common problems seen here.

I came to this site for the same reason. I have found after about 9 months that things are much better than they were. What the last person said here is very appropriate. Realizing that it is ok and normal to have these feelings helped. Rather than trying to deny them and block them out, if I get them now I just let them happen. It is painful but it usually means that I'm over them much faster than if i try to fight them, in which case it just gets worse and worse and I can be upset for days.

Posted on 6 October 2006 @ 14:53 (London time) - permalink
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PinkClover, posted over a year ago

Ive been seeing my partner for six months. Although we have a very open relationship and I am greatful he has told me about his past I find it difficult to deal with.

He has had several 'flings' or relationships with people I work with (although not directly they are in a different departments). I have asked him alot about these relationships and he has answered most of my questions, although recently he has been getting annoyed and keeps telling me he does not see why we have to discuss it so much as it is in the past. I feel I have to talk about it because I don't want to feel as if I am another 'fling'. He says he loves me without being prompted and at the strangest times so I have no concerns that he doesnt. I just can't cope with some of the things he has done and think about it for hours on end sometimes, then I either end up in tears or sometimes I am physically sick.

Am I just being silly for feeling like this? I really do love him but I don't know how to cope with this.

Posted on 9 October 2006 @ 15:29 (London time) - permalink
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