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Dear Cupid > Forums > Cupid's Lounge > Looking for a somebody to play tag.....

Looking for a somebody to play tag.....

, posted over a year ago

I've been insulted in a recent post, I'm used to it, happens all the time. I probably deserve it. However the thread is now locked, and there is no way for me to answer the charges or reply that I think the assessment of my character is wrong.

I think posts that are there to offend can be removed if two people tick the button marked unhelpful.. I'll put up the link. If anyone has the time, and actually agrees that the anonymous person has come here to only insult people, rather than provide any advice or help, please can you click on the link, and have her post removed.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-anyone-help-me-understand-my-reactions.html

I'm a big girl, I don't mind insults, but I do find it unfair that people are allowed to insult me, but I am not allowed to defend myself and answer and give a reply.

Make up your own minds, you can click any of the answers including mine, and get any or all of them removed.

Sorry, I put this in the forums, because I have no idea where else this should go. I find it strange that the original question was let through. As far as I'm concerned the original poster didn't have a proper problem, he was looking for people to join him in spreading hate against homosexuals.

Posted on 29 December 2008 @ 17:22 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

To be honest Diovan. I asked to have the post of the Anons and us defending ourselves pulled but instead it was just closed.

I have been saying for weeks now that it is so unfair to enable online bullies and to allow for their posts to go through.

I was concerned for the Poster because he says it was a recent developed reaction and a change in behaviour is a cause for concern.

I was trying to put the post turned to debate and one of a platform of hate back on the poster and what the wife may have been trying to say was a cause for concern.

People are indeed entitled to their views and opinions, agreed.

It was a post turned sour and it was uncalled for to see a fellow Aunt targeted by the Anons that enjoy coming to this site and targeting Aunts and calling them down.

Not once did I name call.

And you are not the only Aunt or Uncle I have defeneded.

We are a family and family loyalty means something to me.

Call me sentimental.

No, not one person is perfect and yes it is my weakness to defend another when I suspect they are being a target of online bullying.

I did ask to have the useless comments aka taunts and bullying comments to be removed and was asking others do the same.

We have been encouraged to refrain from using curse words and to not put down others, yet how is it fit or fair to allow Anons to do this to our fellow Aunts?

I don't think he wanted to have his post turned into a platform of hate.

I think he wanted to vent and be validated and it came out he was very angry and hurt by his wife and her non support, as he sees it.

Again, I was trying to get him to focus on his words of recently having a violent reaction...induced vomitting...that was, what I feel was the REAL cause for concern.

He wanted to understand the why I think, but instead of the false belief of being fixed to accept homosexuaity...which was not the case...it became that....

The post got sidetracked.

The marriage is suffering and it's due to his recent change in behaviour.

Advice is to seek counseling to address why the change in personality or behaviour aka the violent vomitting and hyper revulsion to homosexuality.

Yes Diovan, I'm disagreeing with you on this one.

;)

Posted on 29 December 2008 @ 17:34 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I've used swear words, and I'm trying to cut down on them. The title of the post asked for some way to understand why he might have them feelings and I tried to explain..

I allowed myself to get sidetracked with personal insults, and I shouldn't have done that. But this board is full of homosexual and bisexual people. Why was a question about a man who wanted people to support him in his hate for homosexuals pulled only when I was accused of bullying this man for his views. Has DC given up the role of being a sex advice site, is it now a supporter of hate against homosexuals. What about the many gay and lesbians that read this site, should I have left the question alone to only the people who hate gay people?

Should I not disagree with people who seek to spread hate against people who have different sex practices? Again I'm confused about the stance of Dear Cupid on things like this.

Posted on 29 December 2008 @ 17:48 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I saw that evident. I did think it was a hijacked post and turned into one of a platform of hate and that is so concerning.

I honestly believe that this is a site that is not intended to be one of hate, therefore I take a stand and voice myself. I do this offline as well.

I was recently in the Emergency room with my teen daughter and two other teens were mocking and putting down an elderly native woman.

I looked at them and told them that was enough. She is our elder and drop the racist comments immediately.

Not one other soul said a thing.

Yet when the native woman was called in, the inter racial couple behind me commended me for standing up for another.

I smiled at them and wished them happy holidays.

Yet a part of me was disappointed as why do good people allow such ill treatment to occur?

Why did they remain silent?

Just like the many on here, I don't feel, support hating sexual orientation, people of different races, or of differing religious, political views, I do believe the majority of the populace are for equality, fairness, and don't support racism, sexism, bullying, abuse, yet so many remain silent.

I'd rather this whole drama be sorted behind closed doors as DC has a low tolerance, so I have been told time and again, on mess and drama, but I am greeted with silence.

And I know of a couple of Aunts who dislike me and don't want me here so...it's best to alert our concerns about HATE, ABUSE, BULLYING, on this forum, today.

Just so people know where my stance is and what my issue is.

Ask away for clarification should you need any.

Thanks.

;)

Posted on 29 December 2008 @ 17:58 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Silence.. not surprising.. as I said, I don't mind the insults, but a thread that stands for hate towards homosexuals and allows no-one to give a defence is worrying.

I would prefer if there was somewhere else to raise these concerns, and I'm probably doing it wrong. I guess it's a case of me and you fade continue doing what we're best at, challenging bigotry, racism, sexism, and all the other hate-mongering until somebody in authority on this board comes along and tells us to stop.

I've got no problem with the aunts and uncles who declare themselves to find homosexuality disgusting, that is their choice. But anonymous posters who attack and run away, who stir up hate, and are protected, by having threads locked so there can be no response, do worry me, about the message that is sent out from a board that is supposed to be claims to be dealing with sex and romantic relationships.

There has to be a better way than talking about this in the forums or trying to tackle it on the front board. Anyway, I put this up for opinions, and the silence on the whole issue is very telling about how welcome people that challenge homosexual hate is on the DC boards.. No problem, tons of ways to skin a cat... lol

Posted on 29 December 2008 @ 21:2 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Here here. ;)

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 1:36 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/men-why-do-you-ask-about-a-womans.html

See...this is what I mean. How does someone who clearly isn't over his own pain gets to come on here and verbally abuse a woman online?

Healthy, normal reaction? NOPE.

BS?

YEP.

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 3:37 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

Oh my read them both Mmmmmmmmm! what to say! Fook it is what I say my sons gay and I've had a few men so WOT!!!!!!!!You two keep up the good work, Had to add a bit to the last post I read, Fade hun your link oooooh!!!!What was that last rant all about and who was the male referring to?

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 9:26 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Bugs combs back hair.Dons grease paint and off.

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 14:24 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Oops!I should be checking the forums very regularly as well.Am too late.What about the one that Fade posted

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 14:27 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Its still there.Bugs scampering off at top speed

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 14:30 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Hey you all decide to start without me...

Anyway me and Fade have talked privately, and we have realised that we might have dealt with the issue wrong.. It's still an issue, but I think together me and her can solve it... It might seem that it's personal and it only involves me and Fade, but I know for a fact that at least one other Uncle has had the same problem that we have, and probably from the same anonymous lady. When we are gone from this board, the anonymous person will just move on to causing trouble for somebody else.. But I think me and Fade are agreed, we have a solution to deal with it in our own personal case..

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 17:1 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I see what you mean now fade, you think the guy is sick in the head, I think he's a prejudiced bigot.. but I did point out that the was nothing wrong with him having those views, as long as it didn't harm anyone else. It's not right for him to try to force those hatefull views on his wife.

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 17:13 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Well he projected his hate and trauma onto the poster and she didn't leave the guy, yet because of his past, he blamed her and with this, felt justified to go off on her.

It's s not a healthy response and it wasn't helpful, it was abusive.

He didn't even read the question fully, and he reacted with undue anger and hate.

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 17:17 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Thank you pepper and bugs for your support with this. I got to admitt yesterday I thought it was only me and fade that had a problem with this thing.. The silence on this thread in the forum was very sad to see.. I started thinking maybe I'm wrong, maybe everyone hates homosexuals, maybe most people don't even care.

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 18:22 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Well it's dumb that we get targeted by Anons and other Aunts, and Aunts in guise of Anons and get preached at to 'BEHAVE' and yet such abuse and hate is allowed and enabled by the very Mods that jump on our asses.

If you are on my ass, spank it, pleasure it at least, and stop giving me the limp dick already.

LAME.

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 18:35 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

And Peppah...you a fox. Va va va voom!!

Bugs, you're awesome.

I couldn't find that one post of yours where that Anon openly stated she was an Aunt and Mod but wanted to pose as an Anon and justified her bullying of you.

That was crap as well.

Thanks for both of your support Peps and Bugs. You rock my nads!

;)

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 18:37 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

Well I did put up for vote to take off the horrible disgusting remarks that were on there..MY SON IS BISEXUAL!!!!!And I don't give a crap what people say about disgusting...My son was abused at 10yrs old..His mind was tortured no matter how much I've been through it will never account for what he has had to endure on this pissy little rock....

Everyone knows your business!!!!!!!!

Yea I'm cross with the remarks but more than that I'm saddened..Saddened to no that your bigot hat and disgust for my child is so powerful to you then hunny you haven't learnt anything in life and I feel sorry for you.... Your wife is right she would be daft not to be and the reason being is she is much more learned than you and you seriously should sit down and learn to meditate or you will be sick for the rest of your life......

THAT'S WHAT I HAD TO SAY DIOVAN HUN IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH REASON!!!!!You told me to write LOVE YA BABES AND THANKS FADE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 20:12 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

I voted to have it removed as well. The hate promoting comments.

I did not promote his hate but advised him to seek counseling because it's just a recent development and he now has a severe reaction to homosexuality, which could signify repressed memories from some trauma.

Posted on 30 December 2008 @ 20:20 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Seriously, when does one say to an Aunt or Uncle, you personalized this post and your anger and hate has turned this post into YOU and you have lost perspective, a healthy perspective, and now what you are saying is not helpful?

How do you say that love should stand the test of time but when it comes to an abusive dynamic...GET THEE ARSE THE HECK OUTTA THERE??? as being a wrong solution?

Or tot seek counseling?

Man...how does PVTGUY get automatic approval and have his posts put through and yet...I'm silenced and have to wait???

GEESH.

This place is messed.

Posted on 31 December 2008 @ 1:39 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-time-to-give-up-on-this.html

I don't think I need to say more.

And to be fair, I did message PVT, and what I said was to please step back, take a breath.

You have taken this post and have projected your traumas onto this posters and the advice you are giving are your desires to have the outcomes that would save your Dad and with it, your unresolved anger, abandonment issues, are coming through.

To which he became angry.

He began the taunts and name calling.

I'm not the only Aunt that has had the blessing of having a nasty PM from him, and him telling other Aunts they remind him of his wife and they need help and counseling and they can be friends if they but listen to him.

He taunts and abuses behind doors, saying all women are men haters, they have pms and are emotional and irrational and useless...

My advice is to block him.

this way when he reacts, he has no outlet for his abuse.

Posted on 31 December 2008 @ 5:49 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Subject: Yo, from Fade878 on 31 December 2008 (5 hours ago )

[Block Fade878 from sending you private mail, or Report spam message]

I'm sorry to hear that you are so unhappy with your life and you have not dealt with your childhood and the abandonment issues of your Mother and Father.

I worry as now, you are coming across in one of your posts as a man who is falling apart.

I hope you are alright.

Try not to let your anger and pain blind you, because now us Aunts are worried for you.

Take a break, step back.

Posted on 31 December 2008 @ 5:55 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

I Agree fade we can offer our support and if we have been through something are more open to the posters pain. But putting our pain across and being angry with the world is not right it only confuses the poster more, Step back is the right thing hunny XXXXXXXXXXXXXX LOVES MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 31 December 2008 @ 9:57 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

Pepper you lied to me.You are not 40.You are 20.I am seeing your picture.(Bugs blinks her eyes again and again in disbelief).

Guys I have already started doing the ground work for my job.So I miss out on many posts.I don't check the forums very regularly either.So next time you are having any trouble,Please send me a PM.I am just a PM away.Though I might not be answering a great many posts after joining work,I will still be there as a friend.(Bugs does a Jackie Chan stance)

Diovan and Fade you need to believe that your answers are very intelligent.When a poster gets caught the post turns abusive.As long as there's no name calling please keep up the good work.

Posted on 31 December 2008 @ 11:38 (London time) - permalink
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pepper27, posted over a year ago

OOOOOH! I'm caught, but were did the kids come from? I've been out with one this afternoon and he brought me cocktails ouch! N I'm out again tonight with the elder one...OOOOh what fun :)Thanks bugs hunny you know how to make a girl feel good (:0) well you know your hot to right XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Posted on 31 December 2008 @ 18:6 (London time) - permalink
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