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anonymous
writes: I met this guy about two weeks ago, and we have hung out at his house with some of his friends a couple of times. And the last time we ended up sleeping together, so of course being a girl, I have fallen for him. He's all I think about, but when I went to go see him at work tonight he told me that he just got a g.f. It's weird because he told me that he was just joking around with her but she was being serious about wanting a b.f so now they are going out..and I'm the type of person who thinks she's not pretty enough and I couldn't just go up to him and tell him how I feel because I'm too shy. So I dont know what to do?
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (15 September 2005):
First of all most teen girls think they are not pretty enough. I'll tell you what I used to do if a guy I was mad about didn't choose me. Rejection has a habit of leaving a nasty memory imprinted on ones mind for life, so I use to create a memory that was positive. One example was when a guy I had slept with told me he had made up with his steady girlfriend, I was good at art and I made him an amazing card telling him in a poem I had written how I felt about him. I let go of any hope of being with him as I created the card, I accepted that had not chosen me. The card was really cool, I gave it to him in person, an waited while he read it, then I kissed him on the cheek and said bye, but really cool, smiling not crying or anything, years later it still gives me joy to think of the card and him, his face when he was reading it, how cool I was not expecting anything. If I ever bump into him in town now (by the way I wouldn't fancy him at all now) he always gives me a big smile and says hello! If you are like me, you like to wear your heart on your sleeve, it's great so long as you don't get hung up on a guy and stay cool. There is nothing wrong with letting someone know how you feel and if you can do it without any expectations of reciprocation you'll be fabulous.
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female
reader, lildeesbg  +, writes (15 September 2005):
 Sex definitely can complicate things, especially when your not in a relationship with a person. However, I would take this as a lesson learned and move on. He is not a type of guy you want to be with anyways, if he is cheating with on his girlfriend. Think about it that could have been you !! I know that your hurt because you really liked this guy, but the more you dwell on it the more your gonna be upset.
As for talking with this guy I wouldnt recommend it because nothing is going to change he told you he has a girlfriend. Their is nothing more to say. So go out with your friends and go meet someone who isnt attached.
dee =)
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female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (15 September 2005):
 Dear, there is nothing you can do about this. You just have to accept this and move on. He has a gf now and all you can do is step aside. It sounds like you got "played" by this fellow and I would suggest in the future-that you not sleep with a guy until you both build some trust and respect for each other. So many young woman make the common error of sleeping with a guy too soon, in the hope of attaining him as a bf. If a guy is an honorable sort of fellow and truly respects you-he will never pressure you into sleeping with him so soon. Most woman value the emotional aspects of sex more than men-aspects that can only be attained through secure & loving relationships and most of us don't benefit from one-night stands in the same way. One night stands can really diminish a woman's self esteem. So keep a good sensible head on your shoulders, in the future and make a guy work hard for you before having sex with him so quickly. After all, you are worth it and keep believing in yourself. Take care.
Hugs,
Irish
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reader, pops +, writes (15 September 2005):
What is the problem in accepting the fact that you made an attempt to get to know this guy, had sex with him, but he decided you are not the girl for him? Move on. His rejection is not an insult. It is a choice. He probably is wrong. But it is his decision. His loss. Move. on.
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