Am I wasting my time?
Q. I’m very confused about this guy’s behaviour and need advice. I started talking to a guy, he used to text once in a few days but very detailed msgs about some mutual topics , never opened up about himself much emotionally. I didn’t mind cause we ...
A. 18 December 2022: He sounds more lonely than interested. He likes someone to talk to here and there but he really doesn't want to invest too much of himself into this "thing".
Texting is fine but do you guys see each other in person? Meet up?
If not.. Then I wou... (read in full...)
Am I putting in work and not going to get the commitment?
Q. I just turned 29 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 28 months now we have been living together for a year and 8 months, we have a dog together we both have good jobs and are responsible people. The topic of marriage and children has ...
A. 18 December 2022: I'd say wait until the holiday season is over (so wait until January) and then SIT him down and ask him what timeline (if any) HE has towards building a family and getting married.
Then you can tell him yours and see if the two of you are on the s... (read in full...)
Do I tell him that I know he cheated?
Q. I have just found out that my partner of 9 years had cheated on me with his work colleague at his Christmas party. I feel physically sick at the thought of it and having seen the messages of their night of passion, arranging to meet again and keep ...
A. 18 December 2022: Do you really WANT to stay with a partner who can't keep it in his pants?
I get there there are a lot of complications due to it being a longer relationship, you share a house and a child BUT you have to look to the future.
Can you EVER trust h... (read in full...)
Pimples 2
Q. This might sound gross to y’all but whatever. So basically I have a hard pimple(pustule) directly on my clit under the hood of it and it won’t go away.. it’s been a year and a half since I noticed it. Not only is it there, but was embarrassing as ...
A. 14 December 2022: It's probably a Fordyce spots, or sebaceous glands, are small white or yellow-white bumps inside your vulva. These spots are also found on the lips and cheeks. They normally first appear during puberty, and you tend to get more of them as you age. ... (read in full...)
He is insecure broke it off but we still care. How should I proceed?
Q. I think I know the answer but my good old agony aunts and uncles always help me process. I had not been in a serious relationship in over 4 years. I had a horrible experience w a real live narcissist back in 2017. After much personal work, I decided ...
A. 14 December 2022: Sounds like you found another self-absorbed man, OP
You KNOW what a toxic man is like. The thing is there isn't just ONE version of toxic people. You dated "a real live narcissist" in the past so you KNOW those flags, however, that might also mea... (read in full...)
Anyone from South Africa that can answer a question?
Q. Hi is anyone here from South Africa? Just have a question. I met someone online I have went to see him 3 times and he wants to visit me. He said he got his passport, his NIN, and needs his covid vaccine and says it is 300.00 usd. Seems a li...
A. 14 December 2022:
Did he pay for you when you visited him? If not...
Why should YOU pay?
If he can not afford to pay for the requirements to travel then obviously he can't come to visit.
$300 for a covid vaccine sounds ridiculous - also
"Cost: Aver... (read in full...)
Blindsighted by breakup
Q. I want to know if I’m crazy for being totally blindsided by this breakup. I went on a date with this great guy about a year ago. Then we were talking, hung out together with our kids. And definitely had a connection. Then while I was out of town ...
A. 8 December 2022: I would add this OP,
Don't introduce someone you are dating until you have been dating long enough that you KNOW it's a healthy and stable relationship to your son. A GOOD 9-12 months of dating before HE meets your kiddo.
It's obviously OK for... (read in full...)
Think I really hurt my friendship, what should I do?
Q. I’ve been friends with a male friend for a LONG time. I met him working at a GameStop and we became fast friends. However it turned out he really had feeling for me, I turned him down, (I’m gay) but he was really fun to hang out with and I wanted to ...
A. 6 December 2022: You seem to put the blame on the guy but YOU are the awful friend here.
"he would message me to hang out or ask a question and either I would miss the question or forget to get back to him."
Seriously?
"My phone didn’t alert me and I mi... (read in full...)
Do I stay in this marriage?
Q. Dear cupid. I'm writing here already knowing the answer to my own question, but I just need to talk to someone about this, and I can't talk about it to anyone I know. I'm married, and miserable. It hasn't been easy, and the main problem for me i...
A. 6 December 2022: Honestly, OP?
I feel for you. You HOPE he will change but you KNOW he won't.
If I were you I wouldn't focus on your husband, I'd focus on YOU getting back on track. This means, GO see your doctor and get the issue with walking sorted, if the i... (read in full...)
Former dating partner acts like he does not know me
Q. So a guy I was seeing ended things with me as I wanted commitment and he didn’t see me in that way. he was then with another girl and he didn’t want anymore to do with me even as a mate however that broke down within weeks. next thing he kept ...
A. 5 December 2022: He sounds like a total ass.
I fully agree with Kenny. BLOCK his ass. If he shows up at your work, DO NOT engage. If he shows up at your home, don't open the door.
The guy had his chance and then he treated you like crap and now he thinks there ... (read in full...)
Why does my partner say this?
Q. My partner regularly says hes going to do something that will put him in prison if he doesnt return to his home country soon. I pay all the expenses for my home and he spends his money in the first week and then lives off me for the rest of the m...
A. 5 December 2022: Why are you still with him?
KICK him the F out!
He is UNGRATEFUL and YOU allow it!
Why are you doing this to yourself?... (read in full...)
Blindsighted by breakup
Q. I want to know if I’m crazy for being totally blindsided by this breakup. I went on a date with this great guy about a year ago. Then we were talking, hung out together with our kids. And definitely had a connection. Then while I was out of town ...
A. 5 December 2022: Yikes OP,
Don't feel like you LOST a potentially great relationship, you didn't. You dodged a massive bullet.
OP, honey.... Someone who has OFF/ON relationships with an ex/not ex is NOT really ready or willing to have a healthy relation... (read in full...)
I have no support around me when boyfriend and I argue
Q. I have being living with my boyfriend for the last three months. We have our ups and downs and arguments about day to day things. I live 5.5 hours away from my friends and family. My boyfriend lives about half an hour from his family. I lived away ...
A. 3 December 2022: "I’m beginning to think I’ve made the wrong decision moving in with him as now I have no support around me when these arguments kick off."
So maybe this is the point in time where you take a deeper look at this relationship and DECIDE can we make ... (read in full...)
I want my mom to stop talking to me she has a mental illness
Q. My mom she loves coming into the basement irritating me and threatening me and I don't want her coming to the basement I don't want her talking to me she has a mental illness and she doesn't want to admit to anybody she has one. ...
A. 3 December 2022: If you are living with her, then I presume it's HER house?
If you don't want to interact with her, maybe it's time to move out and stand on your own 2 feet.
Or you can put a lock on your door (you would need her permission if the house is her... (read in full...)
Weird family interactions making me wonder about my husband and his family
Q. So I went to my in-laws house for Thanksgiving. My husband has two sisters. One 18 and the other 16 they were both adopted. Long story short my husband smacked his little sisters behind. Later on in the day my husband touched a over her chest to do ...
A. 30 November 2022: "Grounds for divorce??? "
It sounds weird and inappropriate but also like something KIDS would do to each other.
My brother and I have chased each other around doing towel snaps IN OUR 20's! (gasp!) while doing the dishes after Christmas dinner... (read in full...)
Afraid I’ll regret ending this friendship. Is this a friend worth keeping?
Q. Would you stay friends with someone who has the following traits? I need an outside person’s perspective: PROS: -Caring -There for you emotionally when need advice or venting -Helps in my mental health healing process -Feel less alone b...
A. 28 November 2022: If I was your daughter what would you advise?
Friendships aren't always smooth sailing. And some friendships aren't meant to last. There are some people we GROW with and some we OUTGROW.
I think you have outgrown this friend.
And she doesn't... (read in full...)
This a ONS or sex on the first date?
Q. Background information: You are in your early 20’s. You met this person through a mutual friend at your friends house (10 minute conversation before you left the house). The person asked you for your phone number. You talk with this person a fe...
A. 27 November 2022: Sounds more like,
A mistake fueled by alcohol than an ONS or first date.
But I suppose it could have been "just" an ONS.
Would I think the sex would happen? I think IF I did (and I wasn't attracted to the person) I wouldn't have gone if I ... (read in full...)
Family always wants me to babysit
Q. I have a brother who is married with a wife and two kids. The problem is that my brother and sister-in-law are upset with me for always refusing to babysit. I have work, church and other activities that take up a lot of my time. My brot...
A. 27 November 2022: No, it's not wrong to babysit if you DON'T want to.
What they want is a FREE babysitter. That is why they keep asking and guilting YOU instead of finding an ACTUAL babysitter.
" Is there a better way of refusing to babysit by claiming that I ... (read in full...)
User'sAm I overreacting to my boyfriend's relationship with his daughters? title
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now. He's been divorced for two years and I have never been married myself. He has two daughters and I have no kids. Our relationship is so wonderful, everything between us is perfect ...
A. 27 November 2022: I think you are seeing more of their dynamics the longer you two have been dating.
Personally, I think it's nice to see a father have a close bond with his grown children but are they close to him for what he PROVIDES - money, gifts, or out of l... (read in full...)
Should I inform my ex’s family & friends that I’m he’s addicted to drugs in hopes that they’ll help him?
Q. My ex and I are very much in love but broke up amicably. He’s developed a drug addiction. He’s high functioning but it’s something I cannot accept. He’s admitted to his addiction and understands why I can’t be with him. He’ll be moving out this ...
A. 22 November 2022: I can understand why you feel a need to tell them. He obviously needs help.
However, telling his family might not help at all. If he isn't ready to SEEK help and GET help - he isn't ready.
While I agree with Kenny, I would tell his mom (if she ... (read in full...)
He lied cheated on his partner then told me he never had feelings for me
Q. I’m in a horrible situation and would love some help please. I started dating a man back in June. We’d known each other through work for a couple of years and there has always been some flirtation between us so I was thrilled when he asked me out....
A. 22 November 2022: Oh OP!
His phone call to "tell you he never really cared or saw a future with you" was either made in front of his partner to PLACATE HER or it was because you rejected him AS SOON as you found out he was a cheating bastard.
His wee littl... (read in full...)
He can not cope with emotions?
Q. After getting divorced I had no intentions of meeting anyone but it happened, I met indirectly through work the most amazing man, he happens to be a consultant in a local hospital. I know in the beginning I put him on a massive pedestal and almost ...
A. 16 November 2022: He sounds manipulative and toxic, Op
If I were you I would in NO uncertain terms end it and then block him, perhaps even change my number.
This is not going to work out and it's not a healthy relationship for you. AT ALL. And you know it.... (read in full...)
Is it OK to take advantage of a groomer if they know you know what is happening?
Q. This is about a dude I know at the YMCA where I go after school for 3hours every day. I am 16 and he is 31 and it is like he does not need to work and has money and like is constantly working out and chilling at the YMCA. He is like openly gay and ...
A. 16 November 2022: Is it wrong to take advantage of someone who is acting inappropriately toward you? That is your question.
And I'd say yes. Instead, FILE a complaint that this dude is being inappropriate and is making you uncomfortable.
Because they might be gu... (read in full...)
Relationship has soured and my partner is emotionally unavailable
Q. I have an emotionally unavailable partner. We've been together 18 years. What attracted me to him from the start was his kind and gentle nature. He was (seems ironic now) emotionally caring and my best friend. He ENJOYED spending time with ME. ...
A. 14 November 2022: I think it can happen to MANY relationships over time.
You have both taken each other for granted to a point where YOU can do nothing right because you apparently can't read his mind on top of everything else.
I would consider suggesting coupl... (read in full...)
Years later still feel betrayed that father moved away after the divorce
Q. Me and my dad have had a rough relationship since i was about 16 years old it really all stemmed from my dad moving arcross the country. i always resented him because I young and needed a father still and just the simple fact i felt a parent never ...
A. 9 November 2022: Talk to him?
He can not read your mind and it doesn't sound like he moved away because he didn't care, but to take care of his mother. Who probably needs more help than you?
"I just really breaks my heart that my dad will never do what he has... (read in full...)
He gave me chance after chance
Q. I used to enjoy flirting on dating apps and kinda having text and online relationships. I was in love with someone at the time. He found out about it, left, came back after I had convinced him it was nothing which was exactly what it was and I ...
A. 9 November 2022: "I wonder if really he still loves me and if there is any way back after four years."
Probably not.
I hope he has found someone who CHOOSES to be faithful and who isn't in need of constant attention and validation from other men.
Maybe, j... (read in full...)
Do we really have a future?
Q. Hello there. I am Calvin and I have posted some things to give advice and I posted before for advice on me and my girlfriend Susie about some other stuff about being virgins and dealing with haters at school. She is two years older than me and we ...
A. 6 November 2022: I forgot to add, since you asked.
Being a virgin is not something dirty or wrong. It's a choice (for some) and I think a smart choice. Adding sex to the mix for young people who already have a LOT on their plates with education, puberty, and figu... (read in full...)
Cheating with an unattractive person due to alcohol
Q. All the names in this story are made up. My female friend Kelly asked me a question: I didn’t know a good answer to give her. Background: Kelly is in a 2 year relationship. Kelly, myself and Devin (guys she slept with- weighs 300 pounds, u...
A. 6 November 2022: " She asked me should I tell my boyfriend?"
I 100% agree with FA.
There are 2 options for sure, but only ONE is the "right one" in my book and that is OWN YOUR SHIT and tell the BF. HE deserves to know and make the choice to stay or go.
S... (read in full...)
Pregnant and sex uncomfortable. How do I make husband understand
Q. I am five months pregnant and sex with my husband has been very painful. He wants to have sex once a day which we did when I was not pregnant but the further I get along the more painful it is. I am not sure how to stop. I just want to cut it o...
A. 5 November 2022: OP,
YOU need to talk to him. He needs to RESPECT this boundary. Many (especially first-time moms) are terrified that sex can hurt the baby, and others are just not physically able due to the changes in the pelvic floor. HE NEEDS TO LISTEN a... (read in full...)
I really want my ex back
Q. I was married for seven years. My ex and I have a child together but I still have feelings for him. He broke up with me because we did not have sex for months. He was also upset that I spent to much time with my family. I have 5 siblings and 9 ...
A. 5 November 2022: "How do I get him back ? I believe I can still try. "
OP, your ex is not a toy you can put down and pick up at your whim.
You got engaged before your divorce was final?!! Who does that?!
How desperate are you to have a husband?
I thin... (read in full...)
Do we really have a future?
Q. Hello there. I am Calvin and I have posted some things to give advice and I posted before for advice on me and my girlfriend Susie about some other stuff about being virgins and dealing with haters at school. She is two years older than me and we ...
A. 4 November 2022: Calvin,
None of us can see the future and know whether you and Susie will last. I have met a few couples in their 40s, 50s, and older who met in middle or high school and are still together. And I have met people who didn't last more than a month ... (read in full...)
Is 30 too old to date?
Q. Hi there, this is my first time posting on here but I see people give really great advice. I am currently going through a divorce with my husband of 9 years. Nothing messy, we have just grown apart over the years and I put that down to being so...
A. 2 November 2022: I'm sorry it didn't work out for the two of you.
I don't think 30 is too old. But I don't think THAT should be your focus right now, nor keeping your S-T-B-X-hubby around as a friend. He isn't your friend, he is your ex.
You will both sabota... (read in full...)
How to get over dissapointment of being so close to finding The One?
Q. I fell in love with a guy who has so many characteristics I am looking for. He is so much of what I’ve hoped to have as a husband but never thought would exist out there. Long story short, he has three big deal breakers to him. These things are...
A. 2 November 2022: In the end, you need to shake this off and not think - I was SOOO close" but OH I really dodged a bullet here!!!
3 big red flags are huge.
You also need to realize that you are NOT stuck in love with him, you are STUCK in love with the POTENTI... (read in full...)
Partner invited friend over to stay while I am away
Q. It being less than month since I moved in with my boyfriend and I’m thinking I’ve done the wrong thing. Last week, he blurted out in an argument that he had invited his friend over to stay for the night whilst I’m away working. I have never met h...
A. 2 November 2022: Oh, it WAS a mistake to move in with him!!
Time to move right back out. And end this.
He has sleepovers with another woman while you are at work?
Why would SHE come to have a sleepover at a friend's house? She is a GROWN aSS woman! Unless ... (read in full...)
My mom found my boyfriend and i's naughty texts
Q. Hi! I just found out my boyfriends mom went through my boyfriend and I's text (they were not very PG), she found out yesterday and she acted completely normal and even let my boyfriend come to the house but today my Dad asked me if my Mom had ta...
A. 2 November 2022: Absolutely agree with FA,
While you SAY you are "all talk" FOR NOW - talk leads to actions. Maybe not now, maybe not yet, but more likely than not.
And even if it doesn't you know ANYONE who reads those can not tell that you two are "just ha... (read in full...)
Need advice on how to proceed in my relationshi
Q. My partner and I have been together 7 years. We have been engaged since 6 months in. I cannot bring myself to take the next step and get married because I’m so terrified of marriage being surrounded by family members in unhappy marriages. Plus ...
A. 28 October 2022: OP,
You already were given answers last time you posted this question.
He is not a good fit for you because YOU have kids and he doesn't LIKe kids (or at least not yours).
How do you think that will affect YOUR children growing up?
... (read in full...)
Too much
Q. Ok, so I have a issue , uhh I may or may not masturbate, and I might have gotten addicted it just feels so good! But I kinda gross myself out, does anybody know how to stop? ...
A. 27 October 2022: Self-control, honey.
While I get that masturbation is not necessarily a bad thing to do, I think moderation and self-control are good lessons to learn. It is a normal function of your body. Part of puberty is sexual drive and the bodily changes ... (read in full...)
How do I come out to my female partner
Q. How do I come out to my female partner? Hey people, any help will be appreciated, I'm looking for advice on how I can get out of a situation I've stupidly got myself in. So, I'm gay but have a girlfriend and I really don't want to hurt hurt, but the ...
A. 27 October 2022: You say you don't want to hurt her but then you flirt with men online and go out and have sex with an almost stranger?!
Just rip off the band-aid! Tell her, I'm sorry I have come to realize that I'm gay. I can't string you along, it's not fai... (read in full...)
What if you are turned on by your physical therapist?
Q. Hi. My first name is Tanner. I injured my right shoulder in a fall trying to do parkour on some concrete structures. I am obviously not as good as I thought. I had other injuries but the shoulder is the big deal. So right now I am doing physical...
A. 26 October 2022: "Should I text her at all other than my therapy?"
Nope, not at all.
Her calling you stud might be to also make light of the situation, to show you it doesn't bother her that your body reacted.
You MIGHT want to wear a pair of compression sh... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sabotages me looking good.
Q. My boyfriend ignores what it takes for me to feel like a woman and to feel confident. We are in a serious relationship for a very long time now, we share finances and it's gotten to the point where he just doesn't think it's necessary for me to get ...
A. 24 October 2022: WHY are you sharing finances?!! you are NOT married.
Why are you letting a BF control you with money like this?
WHY are you with this guy at all?
He sounds like a self-absorbed controlling asshat!!
" He says I make a big deal out of no... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating
Q. Been seeing a guy on and off for almost 2 years met through online dating. My friend is also on the site I was on. She told me a guy matches everything that my boyfriend is its certain things only he does its very rare things. The profile matched ...
A. 24 October 2022: You are seeing this guy on and off - so maybe he sees you as a CASUAL partner?
Do you know his full name? - is it his REAL name? Do you know where he works? Do you know where he lives?
Have you BEEN to his place?
And why haven't you met any ... (read in full...)
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