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Would it be wrong to place an ad in a paper asking for someone to get me pregnant?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband can not get me pregnant do to a surgery that he had many years ago. My question for this community is this. Would it be wrong to place an ad in a paper asking for someone to get me pregnant?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (31 July 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntHi, I think it's not 'wrong' but extremely ill-advised and dangerous to consider using an individual you know nothing about to donate semen for you. If you're considering artificial insemination, an licensed and/or accredited sperm bank is the safest way to go, for both you and the potential baby.

Let me give you a bunch of reasons why.

First off, the sperm bank will screen any donor for age and conduct tests to make sure the donor is free of chlamydia, gonorrhea, active CMV infection(cytomegalovirus), Hepatitis B and C, HTLV-1 (a relative of HIV), HIV, syphilis. Good sperm banks will also conduct genetic screening tests for things like cystic fibrosis. The sperm banks also look at a potential donor's family history of conditions such as cancer or diabetes, and conduct a physical examination of the donor as well.

There is a list of sperm banks accredited by the American Association of Tissue Banks at http://aatb.timberlakepublishing.com/content.asp?contentid=666.

The FDA, which oversees the regulation of human tissue products, including sperm, has a list of registered organizations here: http://www.fda.gov/cber/tissue/hctregestabl.htm

This website lists all the organizations registered with the FDA, but doesn't necessarily mean they have been licensed or inspected by the FDA. This list also includes all types of tissue handling facilities, including bone, eye, skin and other tissues for transplantion.

I would suggest you look carefully at any sperm bank to make sure you are working with one that conducts thorough evaluations, genetic and infectious disease screenings of their donors.

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A female reader, DoodlePixie United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2008):

You've also got to consider if you went along with this, that whoever the donor is may later decide he wants to be involved in his childs life (as biologically it will be his). It could potentially create a third person in your relationship.

At least through organised donor programs there will not be any legal implications with the biological father as i'm sure they are contracted to have no knowledge of who recieves their sperm.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (31 July 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntWhat do you think sperm-banks are for?

Come on, asking a random guy to get you pregnant when married?

Talk to a docter, there are plenty of alternative options and with the right one it might still be possible to use your husbands sperm.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (31 July 2008):

Danielepew agony auntI agree with Eyeswideopen. Also, I think you should consider a doctor-controlled thing. I understand they screen semen to discard genetic diseases and the like.

I also assume you have discussed this with your husband.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (31 July 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntGood golly miss molly...have you any idea how many nutcases you'll be dealing with if you do that?! Talk to your doctor and he/she will be able to recommend a fertility specialist. If you don't want to adopt that is.

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A male reader, AnonymousBob United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2008):

personally i don't think it's a good idea. It's very impersonal, and you might wanna take more time in something as important as this.

Talk about it with your husband, and let him know how you feel, that ou want to have kids tc.

There are other options such as adoption etc, but at the very least, you could get an appointment at a sperm donor clinic if that's what you and yours husband decide to do. That way you can actually know as much about the person whose sperm would impregnante you as you could.

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