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Why does the man you love need to be so controlling?

Tagged as: Big Questions, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2010)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

My question is why does the man you love need to be so controlling? I was married to him for 29 years. He left me for a younger woman then she died and he came back into my life. I am in her house with him but he wont let me bring my home things here. I have my own home. I work my butt off for him, painted his and her home. He says he loves me but he hurts my heart

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (1 June 2010):

Odds agony auntWomen like to be with strong, confident men. Some women exaggerate this desire and seek out domineering, controlling men. Even enough to get back with him after being dumped for another woman.

You are at least in your fifties, correct? 29 year-relationship, plus a break? It will be extremely difficult to find a new guy at this point. Either accept his controlling ways, or learn to find happiness without him.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2010):

Miamine agony aunt"I work my butt off for him, painted his and her home"

This is where you is going wrong... you do everything for him, you make his happiness more important than your own. If you treat him like a king and yourself like his slave, don't be surprised when he acts exactly in the role that you've given to him.

You allow yourself to be controlled and mistreated. Put yourself first and demand things of him, and then maybe he'll treat you with more respect and start treating you nicely.

People are treated they way they allow others to be treated. Start acting like a queen and treating him like the slave.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2010):

I think you're with the wrong man. I think you need to dump him. Most men aren't like that at all. You're being used.

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