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Why do I never get to meet or spend time with my boyfriends family/friends? He always has excuses!

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 May 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ive been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We have two issues in our relationship. One being hes not affectionate, romantic, and plays videos games non stop when hes off work. The second being ive only met his mom once and that was two years ago, and ive only met some of his friends which again was two years ago. His friends that he goes to church with I've never even met them before and every time I ask to go with him to see them he always says the same thing which is they're busy with work or school, they're on vacation or the only time he sees them is for a guys night or something . Every time I ask to go around his mom he always says shes never home no more then 30 minutes, because she's at work or always out with her boyfriend. Its beginning to become a problem in our relationship because he goes around my family all the time. Should I let it go and not ask anymore or be done with the relationship

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2015):

I just wonder if he is leading a double life and there might be someone else in the picture that you know nothing about.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (25 May 2015):

janniepeg agony auntYour family has become surrogate for him since he doesn't have much of a family himself. You have different family backgrounds. Yours is close knit while his mother is making the most out of her remaining years for romance, which takes priority over her son. That is not your boyfriend's fault. It's just unfortunate. However, the problems in the relationship that could be worked with is quality time between you two. Understand that if he's not receiving much love and attention from his parents, he has not learned how to give love to you. Video games had also become his babysitter and they probably gave his mom freedom to do whatever she wants.

It's very hard to teach someone to be romantic. I believe how people become romantic has to do with emotional maturity. Children go through emotional stages. If they didn't get love in a critical period their emotional growth is stunted. He remained a child and you are probably going to fill the mom's role, which you would resent doing.

You can say that your needs are not being met and only hope that he understands what you are talking about. At least if you break up it won't be out of the blue and it might force him to grow up. Tell him he should try coming out of his shell or to learn it the hard way, because women don't want boys. They want men. To be a man means there is more to life than brain stimulation and effortless entertainment.

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